DD(4) is overweight - what changes can I make?

[CoffeeChocolateWine]

My DD is 4, 5 in June. She's in reception. She was recently measured and weighed in school and she is slightly overweight at 110.4cm and 22kg. It hasn't come as a shock as she's my third and has always been bigger than they were at the same age. But she was also born much bigger...she was an almost 10lb baby, my DH is 6ft3 and I'm 5ft10. My other two are tall but very lean.

But I can't keep using 'but she was born big' as an excuse. I want to address is but gently. I want to make small changes that will help her over a longer term not a quick fix.

She's not hugely active but doesn't do nothing. She swims and does a dance class once a week. She supposedly scoots to school (10mins each way) but a lot of the time we end up pulling her along on it! We often go for walks at the weekend with her either walking or on her bike but it's not long before she's whining about her legs being tired. We could do more but she's still only 4.

Her diet isn't great. This is where we need to make the biggest change. She's fussy. She hates veg, mainly eats pasta and potatoes, a bit of fruit and she has a big sweet tooth and is a grazer. I make the vast majority of their meals from scratch and they don't eat that much junk food apart from the odd pizza. She loves spaghetti bolognaise, tomato pasta (homemade sauce with masses of blended veg), shepherds pie (mainly the potato topping!) and jacket potatoes. She eats a bit of egg. She doesn't like chicken, fish (apart from tuna pasta) or seafood. I often make things like casseroles but she'll basically eat the mash and leave the rest. But I'd love to get her eating more veg, more protein and less heavy carb meals. Suggestions would be welcome.

I also need some ideas for healthier puds. She loves dessert after dinner and I don't want to stop her having it altogether but I need to mix it up a bit and move away from ice cream or chocolate mousse! I often freeze smoothie in ice lolly moulds which she likes, but generally she doesn't love fruit (although eats a reasonable amount) and doesn't like yoghurt much either!

I should add that my oldest was a dreadful eater and it was the cause of so much stress. He's fine now so I've been trying not to worry too much about DD's bad habits in the hope she'll come good in the end. But I know it's not great!

Simple changes to start
Make her walk or scoot to school, do not pull he on the scooter.
Do not carry her on walks or bike rides etc
Sugar free jelly, sugar free angel delight are both good pudding options.
Look at portion sizes, a child's play with size guides is useful
Encourage more exercise than the 20 mins walk a day, go the long way home etc. Build up her stamina for walking.

All fairly easy and achievable now.

I guess I'm a bit tougher as I would plate up veg and say if you eat all your greens you get dessert, otherwise no afters. She won't eat her veg if she's getting dessert anyway. You could make a reward chart for some encouragement though. That's what I'd do.

Can she help you prep some food. Maybe try sweet potato mash. Homemade pizza with wrap base and blended veg.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/childrens_health/4726905-to-ignore-bmi-as-an-indicator-of-a-child-being-overweight

This thread was recently posted and the OP was given some good advice on it. Have a read through, she was in exactly the same position.

Diet is the main thing that's going to change her weight - obviously exercise is good for health generally though.

Easiest thing is going to be cut out the puddings and any sweets or fizzy drinks. Fruit or greek yoghurt for pudding in the week and ice cream at the weekend maybe?

I wouldn't worry about carbs, kids need carbs. But look at portion sizes - especially if she's the youngest, it's easy to give them the same portion as older ones. Serve her meals on a side plate or child's plate.

I would give desserts only on weekends. Let her learn to be satisfied with savoury and not needing to finish with something sweet. I say that as someone who has a massive sweet tooth.

Could desserts/puddings/juices be reserved for weekends and occasions such as birthday parties? To keep them 'special'!

Does she have pudding each and every day? Is that necessary? We only have pudding at the weekends, we really wouldn’t be having ice cream and chocolate mousse every day. I don’t see those as everyday foods, more occasional treats. Plus most kids will already be having a pudding with their school dinner.

Are you also being sensible about portions? I’m always surprised by a friend of mine who, when serving dinner, gives everyone the same size plateful. A four year old does not need the same portion as an adult. Even healthy foods can be overeaten on.

I'd stop the pudding. She doesn't need sweet every day. It's a weekend treat not an every day thing.

What does she drink? DD used to only drink milk, and was definitely overweight when she was 3.5. I started watering down her milk, and her weight actually dropped (not my aim; I wanted her weight to plateau). If your DD is drinking something calorific, changing it could be an easy win.

You know that restricting foods for one child who is looking ‘larger’ by not allowing them potatoes while the others have potatoes is just as damaging as a child being allowed to become overweight.

Same with forced sports the child dislikes, having strange rules like they must exercise for x time to get a bag of crisps, and making them throw away half their sweets. I’m surprised you’re so smug calling the op awful because your approach to healthy eating sounds like nothing to brag about.

I would recommend Kids Eat in Colour on Instagram. She advises ways to address weight and not focus on healthy food v treats, no fixation on getting pudding only if you eat dinner etc. I think the approach helps kids listen to their own cues about how much to eat and therfore not overeat.

My daughters is the same height and 4 kg lighter. Also would live on plain white carbs (toast, pasta) and sweets if she could. We have done a load of talking about foods that make your body grow, foods thst dont help your body grow, etc and shes started to make better choices herself. Maybe that might help?

One of my kids was overweight at 4 and is now a healthy weight. I think the main thing that helped was reducing portion size. They had a big appetite and had to adjust to having smaller portions of carbs. We have talked a lot about listening to your body and only eating when you are hungry.

For my child, I have noticed they have become a lot more enthusiastic about exercise and physical activity since slimming down a bit - it is a lot harder to run if you are carrying excess weight. A bit of a Catch 22 situation.

I wouldn't be bragging about that. That's an eating disorder in the making.

Stop buying products made mainly of sugar and starch. Sugar is poison - it creates insulin resistance and is not just bad for your teeth. A potato is just as bad as a mars bad in terms of it’s impact on the body (excluding teeth damage), you need to learn about nutrition. Flour is just as bad.

There are essential minerals, essential oils, essential amino-acids. There are no essential carbohydrates.

Children should eat real food, not processed sugar and flour. Eat vegetables, meat and dairy.

Food manufacturers took all the good fats out of food and it tasted bland so they replaced it with sugar. Fight back with real food.

Yes take away the scooter and make her walk to school and back.

Pudding should be fruit and plain yoghurt (try to avoid the sugary tropical fruits though, and stick to thinks like pear, apple, strawberries)

Reduce portion size - she shouldn’t be eating the same amount as her older siblings

Cut out all snacks and let her get hungry before meals

Dont put more than 1 source of carbs on the plate at once (ie no pizza with garlic bread, etc)

have choose your own sweets ag the weekend. If it's a large bag eg haribo I make them throw away half the bag.

wtf? Why not keep half for the next weekend? This is seriously mental.

She definitely can walk longer distances than she is, DS is 4 and walks 4-5 miles on the beach on a regular basis. Soft play, I hate it but find a big one and let her run around for an hour or two when it's raining. Swimming as a family at weekends. If you're all active she has no option but to be.
Pudding isn't a given for us, fruit or yogurt during the week, she doesn't want that, fine it's not essential to have pudding. I also don't expect DS to clear his plate but he needs to eat some veg before pudding at the weekend is even an option. We don't have sweets or crisps in the house. We do bake some weekends or he'll have a biscuit or something if we're out at a café.
Jamie Oliver's buddy's banana bread isn't too bad as a sweet option, no sugar just two spoons of honey in the whole loaf (he uses some apple juice but I just use water after I realised I didn't have any once and it's plenty sweet enough without). We live by the seaside but DS only has an ice cream on occasion it's just not something we have in the house day to day. You can make a decent ice cream by blending frozen banana and yogurt with a splash of milk

OP, I found the easiest changes to make are to move to sugar-free ketchup, sugar-free beans etc. Switch to wholemeal bead and wholemeal pasta because they have more fibre and so are more filling without being massively different. It means you can reduce portion sizes.

Cut down on puddings, or swap them for fruit & creme fraiche.

And gradually increase exercise.

My 4yo scoots 1 mile each way to school every day and has done since september
Yes first few weeks it was hard for her, but she has built up her stamina now and we do the journey in less than 15mins easily.

Stop pulling her along, if she is on her scooter/bike she needs to ride it or just walk

I'd be wary of sugar free products they're often full of sweeteners

It sounds like you are doing well already cooking from scratch, and I wouldn't be too worried at the minute, it could make things worse. To increase protein for a non or low-meat eater, things like nuts, lentils, tofu (try the marinated stuff) and dairy sources like milk or yoghurt.

You can make a boring fruit and yoghurt dessert look really fancy by chopping up different colours of fruit, drizzle with yoghurt, a tiny bit of honey or coulis and a sprinkle of flaked almonds or granola. Similarly something like dipping strawberries or banana slices in a tiny bit of melted dark chocolate. Get her involved with something like baked apples (stuff with raisins, sprinkle with cinnamon). A few chocolate chips and almonds tucked in a banana sliced lengthways and baked in foil.

Reduce portions of the sugary or fatty stuff and increase the portions of veg and protein on the plate. Ignore anyone who advises to cut out food groups for a child, or advises low carb for a child, without dietician advice.

i was contacted by school nurse when my middle child was weighed in reception and she too was overweight for her age & school nurse rang me to discuss. When she realised she was born at 37 weeks & 9lb 5 she was actually on the same centile as she was born on. She never had desserts and we did walk a lot. She’s now 16 and very slim