To ignore BMI as an indicator of a child being overweight?

[HappyHolidays22]

My DD is 4, 5 in 2 months time. She’s tall for her age and looks older than she is because of this. (Just for context, her dad is 6 ft 5 and I am the shortest female in the family at 5 ft 6… so she doesn’t come from small stock!)

Today we had a letter from some NHS service to say that they have done some measurements in school (with our permission) and that she is overweight. Her height is just over 118cm and weight slightly over 26kg. According to the BMI calculator this puts her over then 90th percentile and therefore overweight…

but my problem is that she looks totally in proportion for her height! Never in a million years would I have thought to say she was overweight…

we eat healthily and encourage DD to eat a range of foods (with varying levels of success as I think is normal for a 4 year old).

my question is - AIBU to ignore this BMI calculator/info from the NHS if I believe my daughter is fine? Or should I be doing something to trim her weight down? (Of course, I’d never ever tell DD this as don’t want her to ever have a complex!)

Lots of people have a skewed perception of what is actually a healthy weight for children, youll get lots on here though saying its all ridiculous and to ignore it.

I'd be really honest with yourself about her diet and activity levels and just carry on as you have with encouraging a variety of foods etc. As you say at this age don't want to cause issues around food and her body but I'd keep it on the radar personally.

Personally I would pay attention to it.

I think we are so used to seeing fatter children that it skews our perception. My son started looking fatter during lockdowns and I put his measurements into the BMI calculator. He was just into the overweight category, so I put him on a secret diet and exercise plan.

Do you mind me asking what she typically eats in a day?

I know BMI is a blunt instrument and your daughter does sound tall. But she's nearly 10kg heavier than my 5 year old. Which seems a lot. And mine was 50th centile for height last time I checked so she isn't tiny.

I would pay attention to it. As above many parents are unable to see their child's real weight.

I had parents same height as your DD - and initially I was the tall child at school, then the tall and bigboned child and ultimately the girl who started her periods first and got fat. I am now a fat adult who only made it to 5ft 6.

Early intervention works much better.

children that age should look skinny.
knobbly knees and ribs slightly showing.

she sounds awsome but a little chunky, sorry.

good thing you know now so you can make small changes.

It’s just a fact though.
Most people with overweight children think they are a normal weight.

What is to be gained from ignoring it?

use it as a chance to look at the situation without rose tinted glasses and make small changes now while it is easier to.

Sorry OP. She sounds overweight compared to my nieces x

Ps similiar heights.

I agree with PP, we’ve lost sight of what an overweight child is. I know a few parents who have received similar letters and dismissed them saying their child is ‘just sturdy’ or ‘has a big frame’ but objectively I can see the kids are quite tubby. Children should be thin - they shouldn’t have bellies or ‘puppy fat’ past the age of about 3.

@Dacadactyl She would typically eat a bowl of cereal for breakfast… then at school she will have only what they give the children so.. toast and milk at break, something like a jacket potato for lunch with a school dessert and the fruit in the afternoon. For dinner we will have anything from pasta bakes to roast type dinners to chicken wraps … we will also sometimes do Turkey dinosaurs or mini pizzas and then she will have a dessert (maybe a biscuit or yoghurt). Sometimes she will then have a piece of toast later too for supper.

At the weekends, I try to follow the same pattern so that we keep a reasonably consistent routine.

admittedly, over Christmas she has had more chocolate at the weekends (rather than fruit for a snack) and we have done far fewer outdoor activities and exercise (as we also have a 7 month old so it’s changed our habits a bit!)

I think I’m just feeling super guilty that if she is ‘overweight’ then it is completely my fault.

BMI is blunt. Your daughter is tall for her age... but is the same weight as my 6 year old DS who is also heavy for his age (75th percentile for weight and is taller).

We keep a close eye on his diet as obesity is a feature of my DH's family. So kindly I would take a look at diet.

Primary aged kids should be SKINNY. Like, bones showing, knobbley knees skinny.
Many are not as slender as they used to be, and so the whole perception of a normal shaped child has changed.
Seeing the shape of DS's friends whos mothers were dismissing the Y6 "your child is overweight" letter they had just recieved, I think you should take note of the information you have recieved - although personally I disagree with the healthy4life leaflet you probably also got. I'd go full fat, minimal sweeteners, real food. But also homemade cake and biscuits!

I agree with PP, I think you should take it on board. 26kg is four stone. That sounds like a lot for a nearly 5 year old.

Children who are overfed often tend to be taller than their peers which then leads their parents to assume that their weight is ‘in proportion’. It isn’t. See what AnnaMagnani said above.

It’s simply not fair to do this to a child.

She's 8KG heavier than my 6 year old, who is in the healthy BMI range (although your daughter is a smidge taller) so it does sound to me like you do need to take some notice of it sorry (and I say that as an overweight adult who wishes her parents had paid more attention to this).

Children are supposed to look on the lean side, or so I've been told. I expressed concern once that I thought I could see too much skeleture (is that even a word) on my DD and was told she was the picture of health.

26kg is almost half as much as my almost 15yo DS who is 5'7"

I sort of ignored the letter in that it said DS was a healthy weight when I could see confidently he was too pudgy.

Yes, I think she’s likely to be overweight and is eating too much.

If you plot her height as well as her weight it gives you a better idea.
www.rcpch.ac.uk/resources/uk-who-growth-charts-2-18-years

By my reckoning she’s at the top for both weight and height so I think she’s ok. Very tall!

That's a LOT of food OP sorry. Her BMI is almost obese btw. You should be able to see ribs, spine, hip bones, collar bones easily.

26kg for a 4 yo does seem a lot. My 3 yo ds is 15kg and my 9yo ds is only 30kg. They are both lean and you can see their ribs, but that's how children should be. They shouldn't really have much body fat at all.

Her weight and height are proportional, you are growing a giant.
www.rcpch.ac.uk/sites/default/files/Girls_2-18_years_growth_chart.pdf

Do you have a good health visitor?
A chat could help you work out if she is fine or heading towards genuinely being a giant. Your DD is at the 99th percentile, best to double check, just like you would if she was at 1%. She might indeed just take after her Dad.

She weighs more than my nearly 8 Yr old who isn’t a skinny kid. She’s 50th centile and 128cm

children grow taller because they are overweight. They then start puberty earlier and stop growing.

Sorry OP, that’s a lot of food. There’s no need for supper, so take that out. What about portions? Are they properly child size?

My DD just had the height and weight checks in reception too. She’s exactly the same height but 5kg less and I also think she looks perfectly in proportion. She’s strong and not particularly “skinny” looking although I can see her spine and a bit of her ribs which is totally normal for a 5 year old. So I do wonder where she’d put almost an extra 25% of her body weight without it being an issue.