DD(4) is overweight - what changes can I make?

[CoffeeChocolateWine]

My DD is 4, 5 in June. She's in reception. She was recently measured and weighed in school and she is slightly overweight at 110.4cm and 22kg. It hasn't come as a shock as she's my third and has always been bigger than they were at the same age. But she was also born much bigger...she was an almost 10lb baby, my DH is 6ft3 and I'm 5ft10. My other two are tall but very lean.

But I can't keep using 'but she was born big' as an excuse. I want to address is but gently. I want to make small changes that will help her over a longer term not a quick fix.

She's not hugely active but doesn't do nothing. She swims and does a dance class once a week. She supposedly scoots to school (10mins each way) but a lot of the time we end up pulling her along on it! We often go for walks at the weekend with her either walking or on her bike but it's not long before she's whining about her legs being tired. We could do more but she's still only 4.

Her diet isn't great. This is where we need to make the biggest change. She's fussy. She hates veg, mainly eats pasta and potatoes, a bit of fruit and she has a big sweet tooth and is a grazer. I make the vast majority of their meals from scratch and they don't eat that much junk food apart from the odd pizza. She loves spaghetti bolognaise, tomato pasta (homemade sauce with masses of blended veg), shepherds pie (mainly the potato topping!) and jacket potatoes. She eats a bit of egg. She doesn't like chicken, fish (apart from tuna pasta) or seafood. I often make things like casseroles but she'll basically eat the mash and leave the rest. But I'd love to get her eating more veg, more protein and less heavy carb meals. Suggestions would be welcome.

I also need some ideas for healthier puds. She loves dessert after dinner and I don't want to stop her having it altogether but I need to mix it up a bit and move away from ice cream or chocolate mousse! I often freeze smoothie in ice lolly moulds which she likes, but generally she doesn't love fruit (although eats a reasonable amount) and doesn't like yoghurt much either!

I should add that my oldest was a dreadful eater and it was the cause of so much stress. He's fine now so I've been trying not to worry too much about DD's bad habits in the hope she'll come good in the end. But I know it's not great!

Children need to eat carbohydrates. Fine and good to avoid lots of white flour but there’s nothing inherently wrong with potatoes.

I’m all for reducing sugar and processed carbs but ffs no. A potato and a Mars bar do not have the same effect on the body 🙄

Some of these responses are nuts - we're talking about a chunky 4 year old here! OP probably just needs to cut down on puddings and think about portion sizes - not refuse her potatoes, ban carbs, avoid fruit and teach her sugar is poison

Thanks for the replies. Aside for Spring2023 whose reply was hideous and not helpful at all. My DC is not fat, thank you. She doesn't look that overweight to me at all but she's just in that category so we're addressing it. It is not 'awful' and certainly not 'neglect'. Not giving a shit would be neglect. And restricting one of your DC's food but not the others is awful.

Re. pudding...my DC do have something sweet after dinner every day but I'm not talking chocolate cake with custard. Most of the time it's a frozen smoothie ice lolly, a few chocolate buttons or sometimes a chocolate mousse. Ice cream is generally a weekend thing. But I will look to reduce it.

Drinks-wise...she definitely doesn't have fizzy drinks! She has milk in the morning and evening, lots of water, no squash as she doesn't like it, but she does love orange juice. We could definitely cut that down, especially at weekends.

We only eat wholegrain pasta, rice and couscous so that's a positive. Bread is generally the 50:50 stuff but she doesn't eat much bread anyway.

I don't think portion size is an issue. She has a side plate not full size and only has second helpings if it's spaghetti bolognaise! Usually a lot gets left (usually the good stuff!) We do need to cut down on snacks as she's a grazer though so we'll look at that too.

As of tomorrow she will be walking not 'scooting'!

Do you have a trampoline? If not get one, that will increase her exercise a lot in a fun and easy way. Agree with the 'don't let her be pulled along on the scooter' comments, make her walk and ignore the complaints.

Drinks: no soft drinks or squash, no more than 150 ml (1 small glass) of fruit juice a day (the rule in our house is no fruit juice unless I'm drinking wine so it's only at the weekend), swap to semi skimmed milk (watch the portion control on that as well), offer lots of water to drink.

I'd swap out the puddings for everyone and replace with fruit.

It doesn't needbig changes, just a bit more exercise and a bit less calories. She's only 4.

Sorry, crosspost!

yes sounds like cutting the orange juice is a good idea, and swapping or reducing the frequency of puddings.

My DS is in reception and only drinks water and milk (only 1 cup of milk at bedtime plus whatever he gets at school). We don’t do dessert as a matter of course but if he’s hungry he gets Greek yoghurt or a piece of fruit. We don’t have chocolate or crisps in the house but I will get him these things when we are out and we bake often. He is DC1 though and I think it’s easier with the eldest child so you have my sympathies!

My four year old is also 22kg. She was born 100th centile and is now 98th centile at 22kg. Only, having followed the curve all her life, that now means she is overweight. So the judgement of 'your child is fat' is not very fair, when they've maintained a curve they started on at birth ffs.

@kkneat, see this is the thing...DD was 9lb 13oz at birth so was a chunky baby and always had a lot of meat on her thighs and bit of a pot belly. As a 4yo she is the same. She doesn't look overweight to me really, she just looks like my girl with the chunky thighs and a bit of a pot belly. We know she's heavy but she is still on the same centile she was born on (actually a lower centile) so part of me believes she'll grow into it. I just don't want to be complacent with that thought and then regret it too late! Plus I know her diet needs to improve.

Maybe just change one thing at a time so there isn't a massive shock.

I recommend she and you cycle to school on your bikes. Ditch the scooter. That way neither of you are tempted to pull her along.

Has she been to the dentist yet? It would be good to hang dietary changes on tooth care rather than mentioning weight.

@Spring2023

What a horrible post.

I think you sound like a wonderful mum.

My son is 4, he's a total grazer he barely eats any actual meals but whenever I make a plate up for him eveything goes on it including pudding, last night he had 1/8 out of a thin pizza, 2 nuggets, a big chunk of cucumber, some sliced red pepper and a fromage frais.

I don't agree at all with the suggestions of taking the pudding away.

Fresh orange and anything smoothie related I think would be easiest to cut out, or water it down and see if she notices! It's so easy to drink sugar/calories without even realising.

Got one chunky monkey from birth here, she's recently gone up a few inches and in a few inches and it will all even out in the end, but like adults it's hard to outrun your diet so maybe knock a bit of the sugar on the head and she'll be grand.

(And I'm not talking throwing half bags of sweets in the bin, what a horror show that sounds!)

Oh and before anyone picks on me for giving my child chicken nuggets. We can't all be perfect ALL the time!

@CoffeeChocolateWine

She does need to 'lose' weight, but she does need to grow into it. So all you need to do is make small changes so she isn't putting on more weight.

After half term I'd start with a new 'rule'. She walks, OR she can take her scooter, but she has to scoot or wheel it, no more pulling 'she's a big girl now!' Maybe try doing some longer walks in the half term.

Any fun activity helps! Will the older ones teach her & play hopscotch, skipping rope etc.

holuday/after school/weekends more time at the park, soft play, footy at the park. Do it for FUN not 'exercise'.

Stop the 'afters' habit, irrespective of what it is. It's a habit best not acquired!!

does she like any raw veg? Dipping things in humous?

be wary of 'Greek style yogurt'. Done us high in sugar! Total Fage is good (full fat!)

Don't give kids low fat/skimmed options.

id cut back on OJ if she's drinking loads, maybe one glass with breakfast. (Everyone cutting down because it's too expensive now rather than just her cutting down)

but try not to worry, you're aware, you'll help her grow into it!

@CoffeeChocolateWine

Damn phone!! She doesn't need to lose weight...

It's not unreasonable to remember that she was a bigger baby and you are a tall family. What centile was she on when she was on when she was born and how does this compare to where she is now?
I would talk to the gp maybe without her there and get a proper idea of her personal situation not just the letter. She's actually not that far over from what you've put and might just be about to have an upward growth spurt. I'd be wary of over worrying. And please don't say anything to her.

Don't forget genetics play a part and some kids are just heavier. Look at professional footballers - some are significantly more solid than others and they all have controlled diets and fitness plans. My two girls eat exactly the same food, play sport 5 days a week and one is slim and athletic whilst the other is much stockier. If they are eating well and exercising I really wouldn't worry.

I've just seen that she's on the same or lower centile.
It's a normal distribution.
Some people in the population naturally sit at that point on the curve. We aren't all designed to have the average bmi.
It doesn't harm to be active and eat a balanced diet. But please don't over worry. And if you are, see a gp and see if you actually need to be

Greek Style Yoghurt is not high in sugar. It is high in fats though but I think that's OK. It's the only dairy DS will eat so he eats masses of it and he's appropriately skinny. Although maybe because he never sits still and roller skates everywhere - actually roller skates is another great toy to increase her exercise.

I would make small gradual changes - limiting pudding, watering down OJ, walking to school

If she’s only slightly overweight she only needs to maintain her weight for awhile to be back in the healthy range.

I would remove the deserts all-round, weekends only. For the families physical and teeth health.

Children need a minimum of one hour activity a day. So she needs to be moving doing something over the day - skipping, football, playground etc. So it is a treat to run around.

Also be wary of drinks, I remember a nutritionist in work telling us that each flavour water had 15 spoons of sugar in it.

My pair are greyhounds it's me who needs to loose it but I am working on keeping their teeth in tip top condition for braces.

She sounds like a lovely 4 year old!

Quick wins- OJ start cutting it with some water and limit it
puddings- sounds fine. Fewer in the week but it doesn’t sound so bad. What about frozen yoghurt?

protien heavy banana pancakes- very yummy and filling- could this be a good pudding alternative sometimes?

what about school lunches? Does she have the the school ones? And so they should be balanced.

Hey I have a 4 year old girl too. I’ve worried about weight as well, as she is v tall and at times I’ve thought she was on the cusp of being larger than other girls her age. At the moment though she is the correct weight.

the approach I’ve taken with both my kids is that I don’t really do snacks , unless there’s a legit reason (I.e we are running v late for a meal) and I don’t offer any dessert unless there has been an enthusiastic attempt to eat the main meal (vegetables / salad included). I imagine I’ll get slated on MN (as everyone says never ask your kids to eat anything) but eating the veg / salad is something I encourage at mealtimes, having explained that these foods are good for our bodies.
if we are having dessert more often than not I’ll do fruit salad / grapes, small fromage frais (this is called pudding though). For a bigger treat maybe a cake or jelly. We eat together at the table where possible, and the kids get involved in cooking. We have some rules about, table manners and not getting down till others have finished. I read some stuff about how we have a lot of cultural knowledge around food (old fashioned notions, that shouldn’t be forgotten, as they have developed for a reason) and how kids watching adults eat moderately can help them to do the same.