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Original poster

To ignore BMI as an indicator of a child being overweight?

276 replies

HappyHolidays22 · 23/01/2023 20:33

My DD is 4, 5 in 2 months time. She’s tall for her age and looks older than she is because of this. (Just for context, her dad is 6 ft 5 and I am the shortest female in the family at 5 ft 6… so she doesn’t come from small stock!)

Today we had a letter from some NHS service to say that they have done some measurements in school (with our permission) and that she is overweight. Her height is just over 118cm and weight slightly over 26kg. According to the BMI calculator this puts her over then 90th percentile and therefore overweight…

but my problem is that she looks totally in proportion for her height! Never in a million years would I have thought to say she was overweight…

we eat healthily and encourage DD to eat a range of foods (with varying levels of success as I think is normal for a 4 year old).

my question is - AIBU to ignore this BMI calculator/info from the NHS if I believe my daughter is fine? Or should I be doing something to trim her weight down? (Of course, I’d never ever tell DD this as don’t want her to ever have a complex!)

OP posts:
Quornflakegirl · 23/01/2023 21:03

DH is 6’4 and I am 5’7 and DD is 155cm at just turned turned 10 which puts her height 99th centile but her weight doesn’t match that centile. Tall children aren’t always heavy.

Amybelle88 · 23/01/2023 21:03

For a little more reference my little girl is 6 and tall for her age. She is around 3.5 stone and she is absolutely tiny - could probably do with a little more weight on her truth be told but she's a gymnast, very active and constantly grazing. It's just how she's built. She wears the right size clothes for her age and I only ever size up for leg or arm length, there's not a pick on her.

Hope this helps x

BeardieWeirdie · 23/01/2023 21:03

She weighs an awful lot more (despite being 15cm shorter) than my perfectly healthy eight-year-old. Please don’t ignore the letter.

Original poster
HappyHolidays22 · 23/01/2023 21:04

Gosh. I guess that I have always just thought of her as being tall, not so much ‘big’.

As much as I definitely didn’t want this response, it’s probably a blessing. I would hate to be the cause of her potentially being unhappy when she is older with her weight. I’ll start to slowly put it right from tomorrow..: smaller portions and less beige, no desserts

OP posts:
Andrelaxzz · 23/01/2023 21:05

I have teenagers who have lots of friends from reception still. I can
remember a big group of us in the park and this came up as one if the parents with younger kids I've just got the letter stating their child was measured as overweight. They had a small group of parents saying I had the same thing don't worry, it's puppy fat, tall dads etc. Sadly out if that group of kids being discussed I still know almost all of them and they are without fail really overweight teenagers.
Don't ignore it. Your child will not thank you.

HomeSeck · 23/01/2023 21:05

Definitely right to try and nip this in the bud so to speak OP.

Could you walk to school or up the exercise at the weekends? My DS is the same age and while he’s 5cm shorter he last weighed in at 18kg, despite eating more than you say your daughter does. But a mile walk to and from school seems to keep him in check.

CheeseDreamsTonight · 23/01/2023 21:06

Increase protein and fats, this will keep her more full. Smaller carb portions. Less fruit; maybe replace with veg sticks etc

WoeBeCome · 23/01/2023 21:07

I’d cut out the toast after dinner too. She doesn’t need another snack after dinner. She weighs more than my 7 year old.

It’s good that you’ve had the letter and can act on it. There’s so many overweight kids these days and it’s sad for them.

sunflowerdaisyrose · 23/01/2023 21:08

My very almost 9 year old is the same weight but 132cm, she is slim but I would at least look at her diet and her exercise levels and maybe make an appointment with a health professional to discuss - we are able to speak to a nurse via school about questions like this but maybe GP if not to get a better opinion.

Saythreehailmarys · 23/01/2023 21:10

I’d completely ignore it. BMI has been shown recently to be completely meaningless. Don’t talk to her about dieting, you’re right it’ll give her a complex. Let her eat when she’s hungry, try gentle nutrition and try to avoid processed food. Don’t worry about it and don’t overcomplicate things.

Cuppasoupmonster · 23/01/2023 21:10

Exercise doesn’t keep the weight off as effectively as portion control and limiting certain types of food. Many kids I knows who run around and are on their bikes all day are chubby.

Lozzybear · 23/01/2023 21:11

I have two tall children - DS2 is 150cm at just turned nine. My super skinny tall child actually eats more than my heavier built tall child and they both do loads of sport.
Neither are overweight but DS2 weighs the same as DS1 who is three years older than him. Their builds are completely different. DS2 has huge shoulders and hands. He is never going to be skinny. It’s not all about diet.

Original poster
HappyHolidays22 · 23/01/2023 21:11

Before I try speaking to a GP, I’m going to try to make the simple changes that have been suggested - cut out the supper, stop the desserts, more protein, more exercise …

I would hate to take her to a GP talking about her weight in front of her - I just think that would give her a complex. I will try to fix it without her realising.

OP posts:
Amybelle88 · 23/01/2023 21:13

Quornflakegirl · 23/01/2023 21:03

DH is 6’4 and I am 5’7 and DD is 155cm at just turned turned 10 which puts her height 99th centile but her weight doesn’t match that centile. Tall children aren’t always heavy.

Mine is around 110cm and on the 87th centile, perfectly normal if not on the higher end but she is absolutely minute. Knock knees and skinny ribs 😂

MrsTerryPratchett · 23/01/2023 21:13

Saythreehailmarys · 23/01/2023 21:10

I’d completely ignore it. BMI has been shown recently to be completely meaningless. Don’t talk to her about dieting, you’re right it’ll give her a complex. Let her eat when she’s hungry, try gentle nutrition and try to avoid processed food. Don’t worry about it and don’t overcomplicate things.

Citation?

CheeseDreamsTonight · 23/01/2023 21:14

Yes I agree, that may stick in her mind and create an issue. Good idea. By the sound of it, it won't take a lot more than tweaks

howmanybicycles · 23/01/2023 21:15

Hi OP

My family tend towards overweight so I've been fairly on it with my kids. If they have a school dinner we only have something like egg on toast for tea- not a full meal. I wish we'd cut out the yoghurts for dessert when they were as young as yours but we sadly bought the nonsense about them needing more calcium. But dessert in the week was never anything but that. No snacks after tea, pretty much ever though if they really did seem hungry (you can tell at that age whether it's genuine or just 'i want toast' hunger) then they'd have a piece of fruit. I think some people considered us a bit too rigid but my children grew well and were definitely, definitely not underweight by any stretch of the imagination. Neither were they ever left genuinely horribly hungry. The amount we expect kids to eat nowadays is absolutely bonkers.

A family member who was less restrictive now has hugely obese children. For them, it was, I believe, mainly about bonkers portion size so do watch out for that. At her age I would have given mine 2 chipolata sausages or tea but the family member gave her same age kids, 2-3 sausages, for example. She is young and you can introduce some changes which will set her up well for life and then she can grow into her weight. Well done for facing this.

Ohyeahbabe · 23/01/2023 21:16

My eldest is 5, is 120cm tall and weighs just over 20kg, so 26kg sounds pretty heavy to me.

RandomPerson42 · 23/01/2023 21:17

HappyHolidays22 · 23/01/2023 20:45

@Dacadactyl She would typically eat a bowl of cereal for breakfast… then at school she will have only what they give the children so.. toast and milk at break, something like a jacket potato for lunch with a school dessert and the fruit in the afternoon. For dinner we will have anything from pasta bakes to roast type dinners to chicken wraps … we will also sometimes do Turkey dinosaurs or mini pizzas and then she will have a dessert (maybe a biscuit or yoghurt). Sometimes she will then have a piece of toast later too for supper.

At the weekends, I try to follow the same pattern so that we keep a reasonably consistent routine.

admittedly, over Christmas she has had more chocolate at the weekends (rather than fruit for a snack) and we have done far fewer outdoor activities and exercise (as we also have a 7 month old so it’s changed our habits a bit!)

I think I’m just feeling super guilty that if she is ‘overweight’ then it is completely my fault.

Respectfully that’s a rubbish diet.

Cereals (carbs) followed by toast (carbs) and milk (contains sugar which is carbs), followed by potato (starchy carbs), with dessert (sugary carbs) and fruit (more carbs). Then maybe pasta (carbs)… etc.

Ideally she needs to eat non-starchy vegetables each night, with fats and protein. I.e. real food.

RedHelenB · 23/01/2023 21:18

CatOnTheChair · 23/01/2023 20:46

Primary aged kids should be SKINNY. Like, bones showing, knobbley knees skinny.
Many are not as slender as they used to be, and so the whole perception of a normal shaped child has changed.
Seeing the shape of DS's friends whos mothers were dismissing the Y6 "your child is overweight" letter they had just recieved, I think you should take note of the information you have recieved - although personally I disagree with the healthy4life leaflet you probably also got. I'd go full fat, minimal sweeteners, real food. But also homemade cake and biscuits!

Why should they be this skinny with their bones showing? Says who?

LucyWhipple · 23/01/2023 21:19

Hi op I’m sorry you’ve had this shock but great you’re going to take action now. My dd was overweight as a toddler (92nd centile) and I felt terrible (she got really fat as a baby due to reflux and then it was hard to help her regulate after that).

We cut out all snacks apart from veg/fruit (& I know on here people will stress about the sugar but, really, no one ever got fat from eating fruit), only water to drink (or milk with meals) and stuck to 3 healthy meals a day - limited processed food. 1 ‘sweet’ thing a day max. We got her into a dancing class and upped the activity in other ways - expectations on her to walk etc.

It really didn’t take long for her to grow a bit taller and her weight to fall in relation to height (that’s what you want to aim for, not actually losing weight).

She still - at 10 - has a mega sweet tooth but she also regulates herself well now and prefers fruit & veg to processed carbs. She’s also super active and around 40th centile now. She stands out in her class as one of the slimmest nowadays (another issue as several of them are very overweight but at least she isn’t). So it totally is possible to make small changes and have a big impact.

Merryoldgoat · 23/01/2023 21:20

Why should primary aged children be skinny? I’ve never heard this before mumsnet.

Zanatdy · 23/01/2023 21:21

My DD wasn’t 4 stone until she was much older, 9 or 10. I don’t think you should completely ignore it, but look objectively or ask a friend for an honest opinion (though some won’t give one regardless of asking to be blunt). I’d be wary as weight problems are so hard to solve later in life.

LynetteScavo · 23/01/2023 21:23

As said, a lot of people have forgotten that children are supposed to be skinny. She seems to be eating a lot of carbs. I'd be concerned she wasn't getting enough veg. How much exercise is she getting?

To ignore BMI as an indicator of a child being overweight?
Outfor150 · 23/01/2023 21:26

You can try decreasing portion sizes. It can be easy to get the wrong idea of how much a child “should” eat.