Still wearing night time pull ups at 9 years old.

[Beach1983]

My daughter is still wearing pull ups at night and she had not long turned 9 (much to her embarrassment). I’m aware that kids only stop wetting at night when their brain makes a certain hormone which varies hugely (my son was 3!).

She desperately wants to stop wearing them but she is such a deep sleeper she doesn’t even wake if she’s wet the bed! Sometimes she has a wee at 8 when I take her to bed and when I check on her when I go to bed at ten she’s wet the bed already!

I have suggested going to the doctors which she is massively against, but I feel I have no other option. I would be grateful if anyone could share anything that works - do the alarms work for example?

No answers I'm afraid, just solidarity. My daughter was exactly the same and eventually grew out of it (aged 10, I think). I used to point out to her that there were pull-up pants in every supermarket for her age-group, so there must be loads of other children out there using them. Just keep reassuring her. If she doesn't want to go to the Dr, it would probably upset her even more to force the issue.

@Couchpotato3 Thankyou! I say exactly the same to my daughter, they wouldn’t exist for her age if kids didn’t need them! She’s chosen tonight (first night before school tomorrow) to refuse to wear a pull up so I’m sure we will have a very tired house tomorrow, not ideal!

its good to hear that your daughter grew out of it at ten, I’ve been waiting for her to grow out of it and it seems like it will never happen at this point!

I found this charity helpful - not sure if you’ve come across them before?

www.eric.org.uk/pages/category/bedwetting

My daughter was 10 too before it stopped. She had one of the alarms which didn't help in the slightest, was offered medication which I declined, then it just suddenly stopped happening. Honestly, I think for girls in particular, it's just one of those things. She had frequent UTI's too, and an ultrasound showed her bladder was still 1/4 full even after urinating.

Oh - your poor daughter, that is not fun. And not for you either.

It does need checking out, because she could have an overactive bladder, which can have various causes. As far as I understand it it is normal to be wet at night up to 5, about 20% of kids are still wet at 5 and about 10% at 7, so you are not alone. But beyond 7 I think the recommendation is to check out what it can be.

I know it's awkward but you should be able to explain to your daughter that she could just have an overactive bladder - some people just do and it's no big deal, but the doctor needs to know about it, so they can decide if she needs any help, or it will just sort itself naturally.

But before you have that conversation, you could just have a phone appt with your GP and see what they say, and also speak to the Bladder and Bowel UK charity to see what they reckon the national guidance on best practice is.

If the recommendation is to sit on it for a year, then you know, but I wouldn't just let it drift without advice because NHS waiting lists are so flipping long right now.

@tryingtoholdittogetheralways I agree about the medication, I just don’t feel comfortable medicating her everyday! 10 seems to be a common age to grow out of it so hopefully she will grow out of it soon!

Finally dry 95% of the time here. Out of pull ups for four months now - dd will be 11 at the end of this month.

Ten does seem to be the age. We also increased drinks during the day, reduced after dinner, and no blackcurrant at all after 5pm.

Got the alarm for my then 8 year old and within two months no more bedwetting
For us the alarm works. He hates the sound so much than he did not want to pee in the bed.

DS2 wasn't dry at night until he hit puberty - seems like that sorts out the hormones, including the one whose name I've forgotten that helps concentrate urine while we sleep (and that's what the medication mimics).

Hi My daughter is also 9 and in the same boat. She’s a very deep sleeper and soaks the bed/pull up every night. We recently met with the school nurse after our GP said to contact her and she sent us an alarm. When we put the batteries in and tested it, DD heard the horrible sound and said she would try again without pull ups but did not want the alarm. She has been dry for a week! Just the idea of the alarm seems to have done something. Might be a bit early to say though. Good luck!

It’s a long time ago for our family, but an alarm worked wonders and very quickly for DD.

Go to the drs. What if it doesn't just resolve itself at 10?

The ERIC charity are very good as are Bowel Bladder UK but nothing beats your very own continence nurse service. You really do need some help.

Speaking as a parent of a 9 yr old ds who is now 2 years away from high school.

I listened to a 3 hour webinar presented by Brenda from ERIC (she is amazing), I paid to see a paediatrician privately as our GP had referred to NHS but the waiting list was long and I was desperate. He said you need the NHS continence nurse service.

Saw ours first time in Jan 2022, have had about 5 appts in 7 months.

He is sorted. I am so proud of us both getting there.

Ours was due to longstanding constipation. Dnephew was an incredibly deep sleeper & needed an alarm but there are lots of steps along the way.

I'd not ignore it op x

My niece was similar, went to the doctor at 8 and she had an allergy/intolerance/sensitivity to blackcurrant, which she had been drinking in squash for years. Switched to orange and has been dry since.

you can get large washable bed pads. Some are kylie brand but there are various ones
they are not plasticy and hold huge amounts of liquid, Amazon sell them. They are great for bed wetting

The alarm worked for us for a short period but as it wasn't 'real' it eventually stopped working and DS was back to wetting most nights.

We first saw GP age 8 and it took aaaages to get a referral into continence team and then aaaaaages to get anything more useful out of them than is on the ERIC website.

We are now on medication 3 x a day and finally being refereed to consultant care.

Turns out DS now 10 has a crazy overactive bladder which is also TINY (half the size it should be). We have stopped wetting about a year ago but still very small bladder so big issues with urgency - like a toddler when potty training if you can't get him to a toilet NOW we often have to do 'nature wees' long after he should be able to manage that.

You need a referral to the bladder and bowel clinic. They can assess what might work for you. We tried alarms which didn't work, desmoprssin which helped a bit and then several antispasmodic drugs to relax the bladder, eventually found one which worked. It can take all the way to puberty.

You can buy washable fabric absorbant pants which work better for sleepovers.

My son was the same. I still put him in them age 9 if we are on holiday or in a hotel.

But in the last six months something has just clicked so it's more for reassurance or in case he is disoriented as he gets up. Like you I didn't think it ever would and was contemplating going to the doctor.

No real advice, just some hope that it might happen. Immediately before it started to improve we went through an awful spell of almost every night soaking the bed even with the pull up but then overnight it just stopped (she says cursing her night!)

The alarm worked for 8yo DS, only needed for 3-4 weeks and dry since then - a year or so ago.
Definitely worth a try!

We saw an NHS consultant , he said to make sure DS drank at least a litre of water during the day and then nothing for the 1-2h before going to bed.

I used to put my 9 year old DS on the toilet before I went to bed but sometimes I was too late. He was happy to go to the doctors about 6 or so months before his Y6 residential. We tried the tablets and was brilliant. Never looked back. Had maybe 2 prescriptions worth and never needed them again.

Oh yes, make sure they drink enough during the day and don’t worry about drinking. They need to be encouraged to make sure their bladder can hold the liquid. Then no drinks after they’ve had dinner.

My son is the same he is 8 it is more common than you think

As pp have said the ERIC charity is excellent

My tips....

At least 7 big drinks a day
Cut out blackcurrant squash and any caffeine drinks
Stop drinks at least an hour before bed (with ds1 it had to be two hours)
Double wee at bedtime - one before and one after teeth brushing
Get her to help with any washing of bed sheets - not as punishment.

We found the medication did not really work for my son. It only gives a bit more of the hormone so if they are not producing any it does not work.

We found the alarm the most effective. Everyone has to be on board and prepared for sleepless nights. Ds1 did not wake initially so we had to go in and wake him, help him get changed etc. with perseverance it did work

I would go to GP just to rule out anything else

We went through the long process with GP, school nurses, specialist continence nurse with DS1. With DS3 we just bought the alarm off Amazon!

It is incredibly common and I think all parents should be told this by health visitors.

Our school nurse was amazing! And of course it is confidential. Our dc was out of nappies at 2, yet not out of pull ups til 5.
School nurse Provided with an alarm for our dc, I was so against trying for a long time as I felt mean waking sc in this way...also skeptical it would work. Well it did...it really did! Dry within 2 weeks and the disturbed sleep was soooo worth it.

The challenge we had was that the clinic wanted DS to have the medication but the GP refused to prescribe for more than 3 days (a school trip) saying he'd grow out of it. We couldn't face the alarms but we are whimps

@WonderingWanda can I ask which antispasmodics you tried? We are on what feels like a heavy regime of 3 x a day but not seeing huge gains in bladder capacity but latest appointment didn't mention any alternatives so would be good to maybe have the suggestion up our sleeve next time!