Overweight DD, is this a healthy menu?

[TheChild]

Hello, I'm looking for some advice about my DD(7). She is not technically overwight in terms of BMI but she is very nearly, she is 4 ft 6 inches and 5st 7lbs.

She has always been what I'd describe as "sturdy", but with lockdown I really noticed her getting a bit bigger with the lack of school run, PE and less activities on.

We are trying to be more mindful of what she is eating, but she seems to constantly be hungry! I've kept a track of what she has eaten in the past few days, I was wondering how this daily food compares with other children and how we could improve?

Breakfast: porridge with raisins
Lunch: wholemeal ham wrap (plain, she doesn't like mayo or cream cheese), cucumber sticks and tomatoes, greek yogurt with strawberries, 5 ritz crackers
Snack: 1 chocolate from a box of Thorntons
Dinner: chicken fajitas (1.5 wholemeal wraps), cheese doritos (I'd guess maybe 2 handfuls)
Pudding: small bowl of sweets (9 skittles, to be pedantic 😁) and 1 Thorntons chocolate
Supper: apple

Breakfast: 1 slice toast (best of both) with chocolate spread, handful of grapes with a few tablespoons of Greek yogurt (dad gave the toast with Nutella and she said she was still hungry which is why I gave the yogurt, we have agreed nutella on toast is not the best breakfast!)
Lunch: wholemeal ham wrap, cucumber sticks, pepper sticks and tomatoes, 4 ritz crackers, 2 small hotdogs, grapes
Dinner: 3 chipolata sausages, 5 small roast potatoes, sweetcorn and gravy
Pudding: bread and butter pudding with custard
Supper: apple

Breakfast: 1 slice best of both toast and 2 scrambled eggs
Lunch: wholemeal ham wrap, carrot sticks, cucumber sticks and tomatoes, 2 small hotdogs, 4 ritz crackers, raisins
Dinner: chicken fajitas (1 wholemeal wrap), handful of cheese doritoes
Puddin: peach slices with custard
Supper has not happened yet but she will get the option of either an apple, grapes, melon or greek yogurt with frozen strawberries

A bit more info, we cook most meals from scratch and have really tried to cut out convenience food and find meals we can all eat as a family. I think her portion sizes are fairly normal, I try to go by the "portion is the size of your (in this case her) wrist. She gets a glass of fizzy fruit pop as an occasional treat with her evening meal if I'm feeling generous.
We walk to school and back every day (approx 15 minute walk each way) and she has just joined sports club one afternoon each week. We are trying to encourage her to take up a sport to get a bit more active but she is very shy and keeps saying no to everything we suggest. Neither me or DP drive so we do a fair bit of walking but she definitely doesn't enjoy this much 😂
She is very fussy with trying new things, she doesn't like nuts, cheese, rice, spicy food, stirfry etc so trying to get healthy recipes that we all can eat is a bit challenging! (she is pretty much the opposite of her sister!)
I know the puddings aren't great, she would usually be fine with greek yogurt and fruit but her little sister will not eat greek yogurt at all. Is it better to have say 1 "treat" food per day or have 1 day per week where we might allow her a few treats?
I have also never mentioned any concerns about her weight to her, my mum bullied me about my weight as a young teen and it gave me a lot of issues around food and I will always struggle with binging and my weight, so I'm just trying to talk more about healthy eating and discuss why having too much sugar and pop etc is bad for our health and our teeth.

Thanks so much if you managed to read all that 😊

@SunshiningBetty

For contrast my 9 year old daughter had today: Breakfast : 2 boiled eggs and 2 pieces of wholeme toast Snack - carrot sticks Lunch - school dinner with jelly and fruit for pudding Dinner - cod, carrots, broccoli, handful of pasta She only drinks water. We have pudding on a Sunday and she sometimes has a cupcake from her nan on a Saturday.

Exercise:
Monday - 1 hour of school pe, 1 hour of athletics practice after school
Tuesday - 1 hour of school swimming, 1 hour of rounders after school, 1 hour of netball club after school
Wednesday - 1 hour of PE at school, 1 hour of football club
Thursday - 1 hour of PE at school. 1 hour of x country after school
Friday - 1 hour of swimming club
Saturday - 2 hours of gymnastics, 30 mins swimming lessons
Sunday - 1 hour of tennis

To be honest, I sometimes worry if she does too much exercise but she loves it. She’s not skinny though - on the 57th percentile.

Wow, how do you fit all that exercise in?! I've been looking at different clubs and they're either on on the day I work late and she is at after school club, or at a location that we couldn't get to in time due to not driving and having to rely on public transport. A lot of places now seem to not allow siblings to watch with adults due to covid, so I'd have no one to watch DD2. I know this sounds like a load of old excuses, I'd love to be able to drive as it would make it so much easier! Are the clubs that your DD goes to on later in the evening?

It is hectic I won’t lie. She goes to a private school that does an hour of PE a day and offers an after school sports club every night which she does. That finishes at 5.30. Then it’s straight to another activity some nights from 6-7. We juggle another DS between his clubs as well

And yes, it’s a lot of driving and a lot of petrol

I think the main meals are fine, but I would suggest:

• scrap the fizzy drinks entirely. We just have fizzy drinks at birthday parties, we don't keep it in the house.

• scrap the handfuls of lollies/Doritos etc as a snack. They don't have nutritional value.

• scrap daily pudding. We have pudding on sundays but not every day.

I think her portion sizes are probably large for a child but I wouldn't reduce the size of healthy meals, if anything increase it when you cut out the other high calorie/low nutrition foods.

I think you have a good approach in terms of not making her self conscious about her body and food. I'd focus on wanting to get lots of nutrition from food rather than cutting calories when you make healthy changes.

Get rid of all the crap sugary junk food. Make snacks be a piece of fruit and one cracker maybe.
Try to not have too much bready stuff either. 3 times a day is a bit too much.
Definitely don’t need fizzy drinks. Even the sugar free ones apparently leave you craving sugar.

There’s nothing wrong with the meat and 2 veg types of dinner if she’s fussy.
Nothing wrong with a small pudding either. Small piece of home made stuff or yoghurt with berries or fruit is fine.

My 7yo is the same height and eats similar, minus pudding. He weighs 11lb less. He is very active though: similar walk to school plus 30minutes to an hour dog walk about 5 days a week (sometimes on roller skates/ scooter) and about an hour ( or 3-4 somedays) pogo stick/ frisbee/ tag with his brother/ tree climbing/ running with the dog a day.

@SunshiningBetty

It is hectic I won’t lie. She goes to a private school that does an hour of PE a day and offers an after school sports club every night which she does. That finishes at 5.30. Then it’s straight to another activity some nights from 6-7. We juggle another DS between his clubs as well

That sounds a bit miserable for the kids. Everyone needs downtime.

My DD used to be 6st 6 but was only 4 ft7. Now she is 6st 4 and 5ft 0.

I would knockoff the puddings,and crisps Ritz crackers and sweets to start with. I have never bought any of those wrap things, they look awful and unappealing to me.

But definitely more exercise is needed. even dancing to music in her bedroom,is better than nothing.

My daughter is 8, the same height and almost a stone lighter but she has a very healthy appetite, she eats a lot more than I imagine is recommended. I would drop the skittles/thorntons chocolates and save those for the weekend. Does she need all those puddings? My DC have desert but during the week it is pretty much always plain yoghurt with a bit of honey and some chopped banana.
A week day:
Breakfast: two weetabix, or a bowl of bran flakes with semi skimmed milk. One small slice of bread with margerine and marmite.
Snack: A nutri grain bar
Lunch: Cheese sandwich or courgette & cheese muffins if I get round to making them. 3 jacobs crackers. a pot of grapes and a pot of cucumber sticks.
Snack: A handful of pretzels or something when she gets home from school
Dinner (early to avoid lots of snacking). The usual - a decent sized portion of spaghetti bolognese, sausages, gnocchi, quiche whatever. If she wants seconds she can have. Desert is plain yoghurt with honey and banana.
At the weekend all DC are allowed a couple of treats, ie we might go out and get a cake or an ice-cream or we might do some baking.
She is very active though - lots of swimming and netball and we don't have a car so she walks everywhere.

She's eating more than me and I'm 5'8, 10.4 stone. This is irrelevant - you are not growing, a 7 year old is and needs energy. My kids eat more than me too.

You sound like you're doing the right things; cook from scratch, go easy on pudding and treat food during the week, don't mention her weight and definitely don't cut out food groups.

Oh another thing I do for the endless cries of 'I'm hungry' is I keep chopped fruit in the fridge. Watermelon, apples, pineapple all cut up so if they're that starving they can help themselves to fruit!

Cut out the daily chocolate and sweets.
Add more fruit
I give my dc boiled eggs for snacks & breakfast.
Will she eat plain roasted chicken? I buy a whole chicken, roast it & use it for sandwiches, soups, curries and stir fries.

Swap some of the sweets/carbs for a protein such as cheese to keep her fuller for longer or fruit.

Can you walk to school? Or get off one stop early if using the bus just to get steps in.

Introduce veg instead of dorritos, you are serving double carbs in a few meals.

Have a look here for ideas: www.nhs.uk/change4life/food-facts

Get her cooking with you at weekends as she's more likely to try new foods this way. I have a sensory eater & in the beginning it was a nightmare as everything had to be separated out. He wouldn't eat it if it touched each other so lasagne was served separately. His therapist suggested that he cooked with us and that was a game changer. You'll now find him eating smoked salmon when 3 yrs ago he'd have thrown it at you.

Don't give her sweets as a pudding, give her a proper pudding like fruit mousse, rice pud, jelly and fruit or ice cream if you can't be bothered to make something. Sweets and chocolate are a treat, not part of a meal.

Other than that her diet seems fine. She needs more exercise but with schools going back to normal that will happen. Dancing/movement to music is quite fun to do indoors.

Don't give her sweets as a pudding, give her a proper pudding like fruit mousse, rice pud, jelly and fruit or ice cream if you can't be bothered to make something. Sweets and chocolate are a treat, not part of a meal.

It's much better for teeth if they're only eaten at mealtimes though.

Thank you so much for the further replies everyone, I appreciate it so much! Breakfast this morning was scrambled eggs with some fried mushrooms (I'll try to attach a picture to show portion size but my app sometimes does not like to post pictures) however she didn't eat many of the mushrooms as she said she didn't like them. Not sure why as they were just plain mushrooms fried in a little bit of butter, no added seasoning or anything that would make her twist her face 😑 then when I asked her to eat a few more of the mushrooms she said she was too full. Do I still ask her to eat at least a few or do I leave it and not force her to eat any more? I know the "clear your plate" mentality isn't the best route, but she had barely any of the vegetables on her plate.
Great idea about getting her to cook more with us, she loves to bake and she helped me make the fajitas the other night, even persuaded her to try to a bit of the chicken with seasoning (didn't like it).
I've found a 10 week gymnastic course on every Saturday, I can't take her as I work every Saturday but I think her dad would be able to after he finishes work. And the same place has trampoline sessions on every Saturday and Sunday which she would love, I'll call them today to find out more.
To the poster who asked about a trampoline, unfortunately we only have a small yard but we do have a little trampet which I'm planning to pull out this morning before setting off for school.

Not many 7 year olds like mushrooms! Just take away what she doesn't eat, if she's eaten eggs and a few mushrooms that's fine. Did you give her a bit of toast with it? You don't need to remove carbs from a child.

In my opinion, although some don't agree, it is really important that you allow them to self regulate. My DS has a variable appetite - just a few days ago he ate two mouthfuls of toast for breakfast, totally ignoring his cereal. Other days he wolfs the whole lot and then asks for a banana. If my DC want a bit more, they can have it. If they don't want to eat it all they don't have to as long as they understand that they won't get snacks later because they didn't eat enough! Try not to be controlling about that kind of thing, it won't help her. It's also helpful to think about what they eat over a week, not a day. So if she doesn't eat many veg today I'm sure she will eat a decent amount another day.

First thoughts, replace the raisins with fresh fruit, drop the ritz crackers and Doritos, they’re just not needed with those meals, replace the chocolate with an easy peeler or similar and drop the sweets after dinner and keep them for weekends, replace with a yoghurt.

Wraps are actually quite calorific, and I find actual sliced bread or a roll more filling than a wrap calorie for calorie.

I’d look at limiting wraps to one main meal a week and one lunch a week, and have different types of bread.

We have wraps, sliced bread, bagels, sandwich thins and burger rolls in on a normal week (the kids like ‘burger sandwiches ).

@StayingHere

Not many 7 year olds like mushrooms! Just take away what she doesn't eat, if she's eaten eggs and a few mushrooms that's fine. Did you give her a bit of toast with it? You don't need to remove carbs from a child.

She usually loves mushrooms, which is why I was a bit 🤔 I didn't give any toast, I'm a bit conscious of people saying her diet was a bit carb heavy and she still has a wrap for lunch!

I forgot to say in my previous reply, I think getting her to eat a more varied pack lunch will be difficult. She hates anything that makes her stand out and all her friends seem to have wraps, sandwiches and crisps so I think if I dared put anything that wasn't the "norm" she would feel self conscious. She already asks why she doesn't get frubes in her lunch, which is when I just say that greek yogurt is a bit healthier. It also doesn't help that we see her cousins on the walk home nearly every day and they usually have left over crisps and some sweets their mum brings along for them.

Really like the idea of roast chicken as an alternative to a wrap, she loves roast chicken and that's not something too "different" to have for lunch.

The trampoline/trampet sounds like a great idea - I’ve yet to find a child that doesn’t like a bounce.

Could you also make weekends/down time more about activity? If the weather is more or less dry we go for a long (3-4 hour) walk, usually ending in a playground. We don’t give the children a choice, it’s just what we do. We’ve found that if we give them a clipboard and things to hunt for (bees, flowers, ladybirds, squirrels etc - just make it up!) they’re pretty engaged. That way they’ve had a good burst of energy.

For food, I think I would allow her to leave stuff. We’ve always let DD choose when she is full, but if she says ‘I’m full’, then she’s full for everything. No snack 10 minutes later. It helps them learn to regulate their appetite. Some days she leaves her veg, some days she wolfs it. It all seems to balance out.

We also try to do sneakily healthy treats. My DD loves an ice lolly, so I bought a mould and make them with blended fruit/fruit juice/Greek yoghurt and purée. The moulds are also a lot smaller than a shop bought lolly. That way in the summer when DD was having a daily ice lolly, she was actually having the equivalent of half a glass of juice, or a couple of spoons of yoghurt. We don’t keep chocolate/biscuits/crisps in the house - she isn’t deprived of them - if we go to a party she can go wild, or if she has cake on a day out that’s fine, and Grandma has a good supply of treats at her house, but it’s not available every day.

It’s not easy or fair - especially when some children seem to have hollow legs and survive on Mars bars and coke without gaining an ounce. But if you focus on healthy lifestyle regardless of weight, then it sets her up for life.

And I echo the posters that say you sound like a lovely, caring mum.

It sounds a good, balanced diet. The thing is at this age you don’t want to ‘curb’ anything because you want to normalise food.

If you make sweets etc a danger food - no we can’t eat those they’re not healthy, it automatically induces feelings of guilt surrounding food.

The only thing I would perhaps suggest (if anything) is there seems to be a bit of processed food. Again, this is not a bad thing if it is not an every day occurrence, but could you make together for her puddings? A low sugar brownie with coco powder for example or instead of fajitas with wraps could you maybe do a whole meal pasta and bolognese?

I think instead you need to get her to adopt healthier exercising habits. Even if it’s just walking where you would rather drive etc. Can you start her in any activities? Does she like horses? Could she start riding? Maybe gymnastics or dance?

I think it is wrong to remove carbs from a child's meal. She is 7 - she can have a small amount of carb at every meal. Eggs are good but low in healthy fat and low in carb both of which she needs. A small piece of wholemeal toast would be totally appropriate alongside eggs and mushrooms.

@TheChild I really feel for her, just let her have a frube and some crisps and some fruit or something on the way home. If she's overweight it's purely an exercise thing. Why shouldn't she have what everyone else is having? Just get her moving a bit more and completely normalise food otherwise you'll have even more reason to be concerned as she gets older. Go swimming, walk more, get her into some clubs like drama clubs, anything that gets her moving really.

Who wants roast chicken in their packed lunch fgs, why not have the wrap and some chicken to go with it?