Overweight DD, is this a healthy menu?

[TheChild]

Hello, I'm looking for some advice about my DD(7). She is not technically overwight in terms of BMI but she is very nearly, she is 4 ft 6 inches and 5st 7lbs.

She has always been what I'd describe as "sturdy", but with lockdown I really noticed her getting a bit bigger with the lack of school run, PE and less activities on.

We are trying to be more mindful of what she is eating, but she seems to constantly be hungry! I've kept a track of what she has eaten in the past few days, I was wondering how this daily food compares with other children and how we could improve?

Breakfast: porridge with raisins
Lunch: wholemeal ham wrap (plain, she doesn't like mayo or cream cheese), cucumber sticks and tomatoes, greek yogurt with strawberries, 5 ritz crackers
Snack: 1 chocolate from a box of Thorntons
Dinner: chicken fajitas (1.5 wholemeal wraps), cheese doritos (I'd guess maybe 2 handfuls)
Pudding: small bowl of sweets (9 skittles, to be pedantic 😁) and 1 Thorntons chocolate
Supper: apple

Breakfast: 1 slice toast (best of both) with chocolate spread, handful of grapes with a few tablespoons of Greek yogurt (dad gave the toast with Nutella and she said she was still hungry which is why I gave the yogurt, we have agreed nutella on toast is not the best breakfast!)
Lunch: wholemeal ham wrap, cucumber sticks, pepper sticks and tomatoes, 4 ritz crackers, 2 small hotdogs, grapes
Dinner: 3 chipolata sausages, 5 small roast potatoes, sweetcorn and gravy
Pudding: bread and butter pudding with custard
Supper: apple

Breakfast: 1 slice best of both toast and 2 scrambled eggs
Lunch: wholemeal ham wrap, carrot sticks, cucumber sticks and tomatoes, 2 small hotdogs, 4 ritz crackers, raisins
Dinner: chicken fajitas (1 wholemeal wrap), handful of cheese doritoes
Puddin: peach slices with custard
Supper has not happened yet but she will get the option of either an apple, grapes, melon or greek yogurt with frozen strawberries

A bit more info, we cook most meals from scratch and have really tried to cut out convenience food and find meals we can all eat as a family. I think her portion sizes are fairly normal, I try to go by the "portion is the size of your (in this case her) wrist. She gets a glass of fizzy fruit pop as an occasional treat with her evening meal if I'm feeling generous.
We walk to school and back every day (approx 15 minute walk each way) and she has just joined sports club one afternoon each week. We are trying to encourage her to take up a sport to get a bit more active but she is very shy and keeps saying no to everything we suggest. Neither me or DP drive so we do a fair bit of walking but she definitely doesn't enjoy this much 😂
She is very fussy with trying new things, she doesn't like nuts, cheese, rice, spicy food, stirfry etc so trying to get healthy recipes that we all can eat is a bit challenging! (she is pretty much the opposite of her sister!)
I know the puddings aren't great, she would usually be fine with greek yogurt and fruit but her little sister will not eat greek yogurt at all. Is it better to have say 1 "treat" food per day or have 1 day per week where we might allow her a few treats?
I have also never mentioned any concerns about her weight to her, my mum bullied me about my weight as a young teen and it gave me a lot of issues around food and I will always struggle with binging and my weight, so I'm just trying to talk more about healthy eating and discuss why having too much sugar and pop etc is bad for our health and our teeth.

Thanks so much if you managed to read all that 😊

Im surprised at the comments as I don't think the diet is healthy and it is way too much food, and lots of sweet food.

First, get rid of the raisins. If she wants something on her porridge put a couple of strawberries or a few raspberries on it instead. And theres so much bread. Why so many crackers?!

And don't refer to unhealthy sweet food as treats. You do not want to create a habit of rewarding with food.

Has she got a bike? Maybe have her cycle.

I think you are doing a grand job. Keep up the good work and a parenting high five to you.

I agree with not having pudding after every meal, and not having sweetie snacks every day. Mine get pudding once a week and the odd sweet treat here and there. At Xmas time etc when it is pudding and treats daily, I find it hard work weaning them off that expectation again - but know how bad it feels for me so think it’s not great for them.

@TheChild

Thanks so much for the replies, I agree on regards to exercise, I will try to get her motivated to get out more. I once made her scoot with me while I went on a jog and I thought she enjoyed it but when I asked her again if she wanted to go with me on the next jog she said no 😕 we have just bought a cheap tennis bat set and we had a lot of fun with that at the park so I will look to do that more often. We don't have a garden ourselves so it's a case of hoping the weather is nice and getting out the house.

I also agree with the heavy puddings, we will curb those. I don't even know how we fell into the "pudding after every meal" trap as I rarely had pudding as a child, if I did it was normally a yogurt.

The hotdogs are not a regular thing, I wouldn't normally buy them but our younger DD has just started nursery and we are struggling to find food she would eat in her packed lunch as she doesn't eat sandwiches or wraps. Same with the crisps, although she does love them! We seem to have 2 children that like what the other hates, what meals DD1 loves DD2 refuses to eat and it usually ends in tears (my tears 😂)

We fell into it too a few years back. It just seemed to happen! I curbed it and they did stop moaning fairly quickly. Fruit or a sugar free ice pop if it's hot and pudding at weekends. It's a constant balance for us too with one prone to over eat and fluctuating activity levels. Don't beat yourself up!

Reading your replies i think the main issue is you dont have any ideas beyond sandwiches. And ham sandwiches are really not great. It would be worth looking online somewhere like pintrest for lunch ideas for children.

I find it helpful to think in food groups. Like, wheres the protein in this meal etc. Is the meal colourful. And i dont mean skittles!

Does she have lots of water? People who don't drink enough eat more. Water or diluted squash or occasional juice. I wouldn't have sweets every day either.

I will definitely increase vegetable intake, luckily she is not really fussy with vegetables. Her sister on the other hand thinks vegetables are easy but loves salad!

I asked her today if she liked hard boiled eggs as I*m sure she did and I thought I could make some up and keep in the fridge for snacks, but apparently she doesn't 😑 I'm absolutely sure that was not the case at the last picnic we had but apparently so!

The ritz crackers were a replacement for the scottish oatcakes I bought. Again, like the boiled eggs I could have sworn she used to eat them but the last time I put them in her lunch box she told me she didn't like them.

Supper is normally because she has her evening meal quite early (due to younger DDs earlier bedtime) so by half 7 she is usually telling me how hungry she is. But I really like the idea of saving the pudding until supper. If I ever offer yogurt for pudding the toddler point blank refuses, so she will just have to go without!

I was actually quite proud of myswlf at easter as I told myself we would only get them 1 chocolate egg ea h and a few sweets for an easter egg hunt (normally at easter and christmas I go really overboard!) and they both still ended up with 8 eggs each and a hige sack full of sweets each as we got so much from family and friends 😳 I have a big bag for life in my wadrobe full of chocolate eggs that I don't know what to do with!

Those saying this child’s eats the same as an adult, well yes of course she does she is growing. I think at this age the aberage child needs around 2000 calories which may be more than many women.

@Branleuse

I really dont think such a young child should be on any kind of weightloss diet. Hopefully now lockdown is lifting, she can get more active. Her diet sounds fine to me. Pretty balanced

Absolutely not, the aim is hopefully for her to just remain the same weight and as she grows she will even out. I wouldn't put her on the scales every week or something like that, my mum actually did that to me and tracked my weight every week. If I didn't lose weight I wouldn't get the new clothes I needed/wanted. My aim is to make subtle changes that will benefit her and lead to a healthier lifestyle, without her realising at all.

Fussy kids here too, I am so sick of cooking 3 different meals.

Pudding and fizzy drinks are a once a week treat here, not a daily thing. (Wouldn't really call Greek yoghurt and fruit a pudding tho, healthy enough snack)

We're trying to eat so half the plate is fruit and veg, 1/4 wholegrains, 1/4 protein. Wraps/doritos/crackers are all carbs so only 1 per meal. Instead of 5 small potatoes and 1 veg, have 1 or 2 small potatoes and 3-4 veg portions.

Glass of water/drink before a meal and raw carrot/veg sticks to snack on just before a meal has helped here.

Soup is also great for lots of veggies yet filling. Raisins are quite high in sugar, fresh fruit is better.

I would question portion sizes too. To me lunch would be a wholemeal ham wrap OR hotdog and crackers, not both. We used Myfitness and got a real shock at some portions. What we thought was a normal portion of porridge was actually nearly 3 portions.

4 meals a day seems unnecessary. I’d replace supper with a glass of milk. Size of portions matter a lot so it’s hard to tell. Some dc do podge out just before shooting up so I wouldn’t worry too much other than removing supper.

@RachelRaven

Reading your replies i think the main issue is you dont have any ideas beyond sandwiches. And ham sandwiches are really not great. It would be worth looking online somewhere like pintrest for lunch ideas for children.

I find it helpful to think in food groups. Like, wheres the protein in this meal etc. Is the meal colourful. And i dont mean skittles!

Pretty much hit the nail on the head! I sent her in with some cold tomato pasta once, that did not go down well! I shall have a look at packed lunch ideas with her to see if there is anything she would try.

Put out bowl of raw veg sticks, maybe also apple pieces, prepped orange or clementine, while you're preparing each meal. They eat those without really noticing because hungry. Stick them in front of them if they're playing or watching tv or whatever. Then they've had a really healthy starter and are more moderate on the other food.

Agree with what everyone says about pudge before growth spurt.

But the sweets don't seem a good idea, nor the 4 meals.

Some children are heavier than others though, my youngest child has dense bones.
I’m not saying this as an excuse for her being overweight because she has always been very slim but she is tall and broad.
Currently she is 6ft and wears a size 10 but they are all massive round the waist but fit her thighs.

She’s always needed older clothes due to being tall but needed adjustable waists. When she was small, I picked up my friend’s child and nearly chucked them in the air because they were so light. I was used to my heavy toddler to heft about.

My child also had a ham and cheese wrap every day for lunch through school, never cheese and ham though because that is just wrong.

My Mum was very strict about sweet things and puddings and I have absolutely zero ability to self regulate with chocolate / biscuits etc. I'm a lot more lenient (or just so sugar addicted I can't keep the kids away from it!) We don't eat brilliantly but I don't think 9 Skittles is ever going to be the tipping point into too much sugar

I give dd1 a thermos with vegetable soup in sometimes (not very summery I admit) is that an option for lunch to break up the wraps a bit? I am also heavily reliant on cheese to provide protein, I can't think of any easy lunchbox alternatives. Hummous and breadsticks maybe?

I'm so glad you aren't going to make her diet. I'm a bit sensitive to the issue, as DD1 has an eating disorder, but I came across this today and it really struck me:

I would try to increase her fat content slightly - it will fill her up and is important for a growing child.

@trilbydoll

My Mum was very strict about sweet things and puddings and I have absolutely zero ability to self regulate with chocolate / biscuits etc. I'm a lot more lenient (or just so sugar addicted I can't keep the kids away from it!) We don't eat brilliantly but I don't think 9 Skittles is ever going to be the tipping point into too much sugar

I give dd1 a thermos with vegetable soup in sometimes (not very summery I admit) is that an option for lunch to break up the wraps a bit? I am also heavily reliant on cheese to provide protein, I can't think of any easy lunchbox alternatives. Hummous and breadsticks maybe?

Same here, I have to absolutely cut sugar out of my own diet as it triggers binging so I just don't eat it! I can try some soup, although I made some parsnip soup recently and she tried a spoonful and said she didn't like it (she is crazy, it was bloody lovely!) She really is just very frustrating with trying anything new. She would never eat cheese (unless it was on top of a pizza 😑) but her sister loves cheese for a snack. She doesn't eat hummous either, or any type of dip. Her fajita was actually plain roast chicken, cucumber, tomatoes, fried peppers and onions with absolutely NO fajita seasoning, no sour cream, no salsa and no cheese. So not really a fajita at all 😂

I think you would notice a difference just be removing three things from this diet:

1. No crackers with lunch. What you give her for lunch is sufficient and there is no need to top it up with crackers and empty calories.
2. No pudding. Dinner could be her last meal with the above diet I would say she gets enough nutrients. Perhaps a piece of fruit like an apple if she is really wanting something extra.
3. No drinks other than water.

Removing those things from her diet is not denying her treats, it’s helping her to learn healthy habits for life.

@Lougle

I'm so glad you aren't going to make her diet. I'm a bit sensitive to the issue, as DD1 has an eating disorder, but I came across this today and it really struck me:

I'm sorry about your DD, I hope she is ok It's something I'm very sensitive about also, I do firmly feel that if my mum had not have singled me out and treated me the way she did, and instead tried to make healthy changes for the whole family, I wouldn't have the issues I have with food as an adult. I would never want DD to feel the way I did as a child.

I’m surprised at the comments here as I think that’s loads of food and my active 13 year old would get similar. I wouldn’t eat a wrap AND crackers for lunch.... I dunno, from what you’ve written she’s eating about a third more than I would give my kids. But I appreciate it’s hard to judge it from that without seeing the portions.

You sound like an absolutely lovely and caring mum OP

I definately don't think that's too much food very similar to my DS7. He doesn't have supper and pudding though maybe pudding 2-3 times a week normally a small dish of ice cream and no supper. But he can easily eat 2 chicken fajita wraps plus corn chips etc.

She is quite tall based on your measurements for her age so she will be heavier than others. My DS is 4 stone and 127cm which seems about 50th centile he's 8 in July and she's a good few cm bigger than him!