Overweight DD, is this a healthy menu?

[TheChild]

Hello, I'm looking for some advice about my DD(7). She is not technically overwight in terms of BMI but she is very nearly, she is 4 ft 6 inches and 5st 7lbs.

She has always been what I'd describe as "sturdy", but with lockdown I really noticed her getting a bit bigger with the lack of school run, PE and less activities on.

We are trying to be more mindful of what she is eating, but she seems to constantly be hungry! I've kept a track of what she has eaten in the past few days, I was wondering how this daily food compares with other children and how we could improve?

Breakfast: porridge with raisins
Lunch: wholemeal ham wrap (plain, she doesn't like mayo or cream cheese), cucumber sticks and tomatoes, greek yogurt with strawberries, 5 ritz crackers
Snack: 1 chocolate from a box of Thorntons
Dinner: chicken fajitas (1.5 wholemeal wraps), cheese doritos (I'd guess maybe 2 handfuls)
Pudding: small bowl of sweets (9 skittles, to be pedantic 😁) and 1 Thorntons chocolate
Supper: apple

Breakfast: 1 slice toast (best of both) with chocolate spread, handful of grapes with a few tablespoons of Greek yogurt (dad gave the toast with Nutella and she said she was still hungry which is why I gave the yogurt, we have agreed nutella on toast is not the best breakfast!)
Lunch: wholemeal ham wrap, cucumber sticks, pepper sticks and tomatoes, 4 ritz crackers, 2 small hotdogs, grapes
Dinner: 3 chipolata sausages, 5 small roast potatoes, sweetcorn and gravy
Pudding: bread and butter pudding with custard
Supper: apple

Breakfast: 1 slice best of both toast and 2 scrambled eggs
Lunch: wholemeal ham wrap, carrot sticks, cucumber sticks and tomatoes, 2 small hotdogs, 4 ritz crackers, raisins
Dinner: chicken fajitas (1 wholemeal wrap), handful of cheese doritoes
Puddin: peach slices with custard
Supper has not happened yet but she will get the option of either an apple, grapes, melon or greek yogurt with frozen strawberries

A bit more info, we cook most meals from scratch and have really tried to cut out convenience food and find meals we can all eat as a family. I think her portion sizes are fairly normal, I try to go by the "portion is the size of your (in this case her) wrist. She gets a glass of fizzy fruit pop as an occasional treat with her evening meal if I'm feeling generous.
We walk to school and back every day (approx 15 minute walk each way) and she has just joined sports club one afternoon each week. We are trying to encourage her to take up a sport to get a bit more active but she is very shy and keeps saying no to everything we suggest. Neither me or DP drive so we do a fair bit of walking but she definitely doesn't enjoy this much 😂
She is very fussy with trying new things, she doesn't like nuts, cheese, rice, spicy food, stirfry etc so trying to get healthy recipes that we all can eat is a bit challenging! (she is pretty much the opposite of her sister!)
I know the puddings aren't great, she would usually be fine with greek yogurt and fruit but her little sister will not eat greek yogurt at all. Is it better to have say 1 "treat" food per day or have 1 day per week where we might allow her a few treats?
I have also never mentioned any concerns about her weight to her, my mum bullied me about my weight as a young teen and it gave me a lot of issues around food and I will always struggle with binging and my weight, so I'm just trying to talk more about healthy eating and discuss why having too much sugar and pop etc is bad for our health and our teeth.

Thanks so much if you managed to read all that 😊

I think her diet sounds fine, how much of it is she actually eating? For comparison my DD7 has

Breakfast: Nutella on toast/cereals, yogurt, berries, honey/pancakes and chocolate spread and a glass of orange juice or milk

Snack: fruit or smoothie

Lunch: white roll with cheese and Mayo, cucumber, crisps, yoghurt, chicken bites, dairy dunkers or bread sticks and chocolate spread, wotsits

Snack: homemade cake/yoghurt and fruit/toast and a glass of squash

Dinner: something homemade and often a pudding

Snack: yoghurt, berries and honey/toast/home made cake and a glass of milk

Which sounds lots but she basically picks at all of it.

@MayorGoodwaysChicken

You sound like an absolutely lovely and caring mum OP

Thank you for saying that, that has really made my day

Right, plan of action tomorrow to start with is cut the crackers in the lunch box. So ham wrap, the usual vegetables, some fresh fruit?
Cut out the after school snack and suggest water until dinner is ready (which is never normally too long of a wait, due to the early dinner time), give choice of either habing fruit and/or yogurt for pudding or waiting and having the same for supper? Again supper seems to be a fairly new thing, we had drama when she said she couldn't sleep because she was hungry, which is why I started offering something as supper.

Do people with fussy eaters persevere and make their children eat things even if they say they don't like them? I'm usually happy if she tries something and at least gives it a chance (I'm a hypocrit because I've never tried most seafood but I just refuse point blank to try it 😂) and if I've made an evening meal I will expect her to make a good effort eating most of it and then file that meal under "never again" for future reference. That works with her, not so much with the toddler who would rather starve than eat something she doesn't want to eat.
Also, fizzy drink maybe 1 cup on a Saturday when we have game night? I have a feeling I will need to cut down on my fizzy pop consumption as she will definitely question why I still get to drink it (apparently "because I'm a grown up" is not a good enough reason) but at least that's one way of making myself healthier!

You could do it two ways: keep healthy puddings (you find the homemade ‘rib hugging’ stodgy sort keeps them fuller with far fewer calories than existing ones) but remove snacks or vice versa. I don’t think a child that age who isn’t active should snack tbh.

Also apologies for the lack of paragraphs, my MN app HATES paragraphs!!

I think it’s the lack of exercise rather than the food. My DC(7) eats LOADS. But, he plays football at least three nights a week, has just gone back to swimming lessons, he cycles or scoots or walks to school (just over a mile each way) and is always on the go. He is always hungry, a ball of energy, runs around at playtime like nobody’s business. I’d feed him a lot less if he wasn’t so active!

@Lettuceforlunch

I think it’s the lack of exercise rather than the food. My DC(7) eats LOADS. But, he plays football at least three nights a week, has just gone back to swimming lessons, he cycles or scoots or walks to school (just over a mile each way) and is always on the go. He is always hungry, a ball of energy, runs around at playtime like nobody’s business. I’d feed him a lot less if he wasn’t so active!

I really wish I could get her into a sport, I'm hoping with this sports club she will find something she enjoys doing. She did ice-skating but hated it so I didn't have the heart to make her keep going, she just shuts down every suggestion I make (dance, gymnastics, football).

Your son sounds like my younger child, that girl is NEVER still and could eat for England. Older DD is very much like me and a bit of a couch potato.

I think you are dead right to try and make subtle changes and not make a big deal out of it. And just be thankful for healthy children. Your dd is very tall for her age too so can't really be compared to the average 7 year old.

Too much bread/wraps.
Cut out the crackers, they’re full of salt.
She doesn’t need snacks and puddings everyday. Cut pudding down to twice a week.
Fruit can be eaten without custard or yoghurt.
She’s barely eating any veg, she needs a lot more.

My just turned 8 year old has gotten a bit pudgy over lockdown.

We have subtly tried to cut down on the snacks, only offering fruit or carrots and now lockdown has lifted, each week she now has 2 x PE lessons at school,
1 x 1hr acrobatics lesson,
1 x 1hr after school sports club and
1 x 30mins swimming lesson a week, along with all the running around at break times at school, she plays out on her scooter/bike at least 2 nights a week and we go on at least one long walk a weekend so I’m hoping now she has started back with all her exercise it will help her to loose weight naturally.

I agree with others, don't focus on food. Make exercise the main stay.
I wish I had parents who had done that for me.

Can you get a trampoline or try to factor in some more exercise? Maybe get her into a football or gym club?

Her diet looks fine to me, I wouldn't personally change it... And you said yourself with lockdown that her weight increased so it's likely exercise to be the issue.

It's great you're not mentioning it to her.

I really don't think an apple is some sort of terrible 4th 'meal'! MN does make me giggle! Offer fruit before dinner so they eat less protein and cut the bedtime apple! What?! Don't start cutting fruit. If she eats quite early then an apple or some Greek yoghurt is great. Kids need calories to grow, and hungry kids sleep badly. Don't cut the Greek yogurt, the calcium / protein are excellent for bones / brain / growth. It's a good habit to have.

I think she sounds pretty good. I bet more exercise as we get into better weather will make a major impact.

I'd just swap out some of the carbs for more protein and keep an eye on portion sizes. 1.5 wraps is more than I'd manage and I like my food. 1 at most, more chicken, and up the veg - peppers or cucumber or whatever she likes to fill the plate.

I would actually increase her milk and butter intake as it's really good for kids and fills them up... Full fat plain yogurt and fruit is a really great dessert that I've given my kids for years.

Does she like sushi? Maybe that's something new to try other than sandwiches.

On the exercise front, now that they are back at school children will naturally be more active. Lockdown made it way too easy to sit around not doing much and feel we were doing the right thing by “staying at home”.
Those saying too many wraps need to suggest alternatives because children do need more carbs than adults.

That would more than fill me up in a day and I'm a very active 5'7" grown up.

1.5 fajitas then what would amount to a bag of Doritos and then sweets on top??

Wraps are much higher in calories and fat than bread. One slice of whole meal bread is approx 55 cals / 0.7g fat whilst one Tesco wholemeal wrap has 179 cals / 3.3g fat

Her diet is not that bad but you could try to make it a bit more healthier. For comparison my DD8 today had:

Breakfast: Porridge with a banana and a handful of blueberries
Lunch: Omelette with cucumber sticks, cherry tomatoes, avocado and a slice of bread
Snack: A few pineapple slices and greek yoghurt
Dinner: Grilled salmon and baked sweet potato
Snack 2: Hot milk with some pure cacao and cinnamon

It looks very heavy on carbs. Add more protein, maybe she will not feel that hungry all the time. And you know yourself the pudding after dinner issue. Make it more special and weekly rather than daily.

My ds has just turned 9 and weighs about 3st 8. He is light for his build but should be around 4st. Her portion sizes seem large for her age. I had 2 fajitas for dinner but the wraps were small ones. I would normally eat 2 sausages and 3 roast potatoes. If she is hungry maybe make 50 percent of her plate fruit or veg with each meal instead of extra meat etc?

@Honeylemontea

Her diet is not that bad but you could try to make it a bit more healthier. For comparison my DD8 today had:

Breakfast: Porridge with a banana and a handful of blueberries
Lunch: Omelette with cucumber sticks, cherry tomatoes, avocado and a slice of bread
Snack: A few pineapple slices and greek yoghurt
Dinner: Grilled salmon and baked sweet potato
Snack 2: Hot milk with some pure cacao and cinnamon

That sounds pretty much exactly like what DD would eat! She actually loves salmon and sweet baked potatoes, however we have gone from salmon to cod, to breaded cod to fish fingers (back to where we started before I tried to overhaul their evening meals) because DD2 just will not eat it 😳 she is the most determined girl and getting her to eat something like that definitely would end in tears and a wasted plate of food. That's why they end up having sausages, its one of the only main meal foods they BOTH agree on. What one likes, the other doesn't. I know I probably need to grow more of a backbone when it comes to DD2 and food, I just can't handle the screaming meltdowns when she doesn't get her own way!

My Ds 8 is about the same height as your Dd but weighs about a stone less.. He also definitely eats more than your DD! I think the difference must be activity levels. He is constantly moving around. Even indoors he's constantly practising handstands, tricks, parkour (my poor sofa 😩) and whatnot. I showed him some music videos during lockdown, and his new thing is trying to breakdance in our living room. Maybe your Dd could be inspired to dance at home?
Children are not supposed to have a sedentary seated lifestyle, so limiting screentime is the key.
Also, we only have puddings/crisps/sweets on the weekend. Maybe worth a try.

I would suggest, possibly rather carb heavy. There are salad vegetables but no other veg apart from sweetcorn which is also carbs. Fresh fruit is good but also contain a lot of sugar which again is carbs. No cooked veg with dinner such as greens, green beans swede, peas etc. As someone else has suggested, maybe up the protein and fat and include more veg, cooked is easier to digest, and will stop your child feeling hungry soon after a meal. Offer less sweets and chocolate as these contain empty calories. A snack could be a cup of soup with a sprinkle of grated cheese, but I appreciate it is not always easy if you have a fussy child.

Doesn't look too bad at all.

I'd maybe swap Doritos for something else or give a bit more dinner and cut them out completely as I think it gives the wrong message as a snack / crisp type thing with the evening meal.

I read somewhere children should have sausages Max 2 times a week so maybe cut out lots of those and the ritz crackers and swap for things like fridge raiders/ your own snack size cooked chicken etc.
Maybe alter lunches a bit too so one day it's soup / beans on toast- when breakfast hasn't been bread based.

I'd also scrap the snack chocolate mainly because 1 is never enough (for me anyway) and I think more than anything it would make her likely to want to pinch another or over indulge when she's older.
I would actually allow a snack sometimes of a soreen malt loaf bar or popcorn and other times fruit.

Maybe a good pudding on set days afew times a week and other days it's fruit salad. A chopped apple/ banana/ grapes between the 2 would be quite filling and healthy.

I'm a big believer in allowing treats in moderation so I'd never have any food forbidden but limited.

Agree with others where exercise is the key. I knew one 9/10/11 year old who was always a bit chunky/ chubby. At 11/12 the weight literally dropped off her when she began walking to/ from high school every day.
I wouldn't make it obvious to dd about 'her' having exercise but more about the family getting out together for fresh air/ keep fit for parents.
DD May notice she's put weight on so I'd focus everything around 'you wanting to eat healthy/ get fit'.

Plenty of water too is always good :)

For contrast my 9 year old daughter had today:
Breakfast : 2 boiled eggs and 2 pieces of wholeme toast
Snack - carrot sticks
Lunch - school dinner with jelly and fruit for pudding
Dinner - cod, carrots, broccoli, handful of pasta
She only drinks water.
We have pudding on a Sunday and she sometimes has a cupcake from her nan on a Saturday.

Exercise:
Monday - 1 hour of school pe, 1 hour of athletics practice after school
Tuesday - 1 hour of school swimming, 1 hour of rounders after school, 1 hour of netball club after school
Wednesday - 1 hour of PE at school, 1 hour of football club
Thursday - 1 hour of PE at school. 1 hour of x country after school
Friday - 1 hour of swimming club
Saturday - 2 hours of gymnastics, 30 mins swimming lessons
Sunday - 1 hour of tennis

To be honest, I sometimes worry if she does too much exercise but she loves it. She’s not skinny though - on the 57th percentile.

I think you’re giving her a bit too much ‘say’ on the exercise. In your posts there’s a lot of ‘I asked her but she doesn’t want to’ or ‘she hates...’.

Of course kids that age get some say, but I don’t think you need to ask them as you would an adult, it’s your job to get good habits going for them.

For example, at 7yo, my kid would just know that 4pm (or whatever) was ‘cycling to the park’ time. It was built in to the day, and a normal thing (weather permitting). And the weather being extra nice meant she knew she’d be outside with her hoopla hoop, or hopscotch or scooter for at least an hour, a couple of times that day. Still at 10yo I’ll set up a portable speaker (inside or outside) and let her know that it’s dancing time. I might hang around to encourage a bit of choreography, or do a bit of silly dancing myself, but on the whole i let her get on with it. Depending on your access to outside space, buy a stack of balls, bats, rackets etc and let her figure it out herself. Trampolines are fab for this too.

Exercise is mandatory, so rather than suggesting 18 group classes and hoping one will catch her interest, I’d pick 3 that suited the family timetable/budget and ask her to choose between them. Then cheerfully but firmly let her know that we could reassess after Term 1, but not before. A bit of awkwardness at the start, or a lack of ability, is no reason to stop. In itself, it’s a great life lesson.

Frankly I’d institute a bit more of this thinking on the food front too. Offering a smorgasbord and allowing them to refuse anything ‘not their preference’ is making a rod for your own back. We all have to eat things that are ‘ok, not great’, for our health and budget. At our place we all have to try everything on the plate, every meal. Anyone who really dislikes something might be given more of something else, but the offering is basically the same (except a spicy option for me!). My kid has learnt that although pumpkin was horrible at 6, she actually quite liked it at 7. If she hadn’t been made to try it again regularly, she might not have found that out. At 7, you can also engage your dd in the meal prep more. If she finds a recipe, writes a list, etc she’ll be more likely to eat it. Savoury muffins are a good place to start- with veg in.