Will I have to take partner to court to get baby jabs done?

[emijs]

My partner is anti-vax. I’m very much pro-vaccination and pro-science but I have been willing to look into both sides.

We have a baby together. I decided without doubt the best thing for the baby was to get vaccinations done. He wouldn’t budge, is very very argumentative and irrational on the subject. I took baby to get the jabs done anyway (without his knowledge, i felt extremely bad about this but I know what he’s like there’s no way I would have been allowed to leave the house if he knew)

Anyway, when baby had a slight local reaction - little lump in each leg - he twigged and hit the roof. Started smashing things up, screaming, saying I’ve taken his rights away - all while baby was in the house, it was terrifying.

I escaped for the week and am back now. He seems to have calmed down but now keeps saying things like baby has changed since his jabs - claims this is the reason he wakes up screaming etc (pretty sure that’s teething!) it’s making my life a misery. He keeps saying how I’ve poisoned the baby.

Anyway, now he says I have to take him to court to get any more jabs done. Is this right? While I have no doubt I’d win, because surely this is about the best interest of the child, it all seems so unnecessary when inoculations are something most parent just do as routine.

Ummm why didn't you have him arrested for smashing the house up? Why did you go back?

I'm no legal expert but I should think he would have to take you to court to prevent you from giving the baby its vaccines.

If he willing to put your baby's health at risk and smashes up your home in a rage, you know I have to say that you need to run as fast as you can from this prick, right?

Your baby could be screaming due to being scared of your partner smashing up the house last time, I would leave over the anti vax stuff let alone the rest of it, he won’t take you to court and you would win if he did.

As PP said. Did you report this to anyone? Police? Health visitor? Doctor? And also is he on the birth certificate?

Escape for good
He's violent and abusive.

When you don't follow his irrational rules he smashes the house up, terrifying you and your baby. Get the hell out of there. Now.

Seriously OP why are you with someone so unhinged? I doubt a court would rule in favour of an anti vaxer, im more certain he has no idea where to begin with his ludicrous claim and what lawyer he would instruct/ pay for. I am sure you could have had him arrested for his abuse and violent behaviour though!

He smashed up the house and you went back!! He wouldn't have let you leave the house if he knew where you were going!! The jabs are the least of your problems

No you don't have to go to court to get jabs, but you should leave, he is violent and you need to get out for your own sake and for the sake of your child.

Vaccinations are an excuse. He's trying to control you. He is abusive. Please think about leaving him - safely.

@Hercwasonaroll

Escape for good He's violent and abusive.

This. It might have been the first time he's done this but it won't be the last.

You and your child are being abused not necessarily by his views but his behaviour smashing up the house and being abusive. Please get onto woman’s aid and/or go back to where you were staying if you can.

It’s ok for parents to have opposing views but not to behave like this. It is abusive, wrong and without ANY justification.

The fact that he would talk to you like that, smash things up and threaten you with court is a bigger problem than his opinion on vaccinations

I know people say LTB at the slightest thing here but this man is dangerous. Read your post, you wouldn't have been allowed to leave the house, he was smashing things up. Does this sound normal to you?

Once a line is crossed, there is no way back, unless he made tangible steps to work on his anger.

You staying after he smashes up the house says that you are willing to accept this behaviour. Do you want your baby to grow up in that environment?

You may feel we are all overreacting to say he is abusive and violent, but if you had heard that from a friend, I'm sure you would think the same.

God - leave him. He’s abusive and controlling.

In the UK, vaccines are standard care. I highly doubt he could get a judge to rule your baby shouldn’t have them. But tbh, this is the least of your problems.

Run! Protect your baby and yourself. Unfortunately there is no vaccination against violence.

He doesn't sound well at all. Monitoring your baby for signs of damage and claiming he sees them is unbearable. The poor child has 50% of their parents almost willing them to be sick. Children live up to their expectations and this is not a good role model.

Does he smoke weed by any chance? And does he hold down a job?

I'd be worried about the future.

He's not going to have a good relationship with healthcare providers in future, should your baby need medical care.

He will make life difficult with other parents.

He may be so attached to his beliefs that he starts telling your child they are defective somehow due to jabs.

Speak to your GP or health visitor.

Smashing things in the house. That's not normal and you need to leave this man for your own safety and that of your baby.

As a good parent you put your child and your child's health first. You as a good parent vaccinated your baby as per the vaccination program to protect your child.
Your partner is irrational and violent and has endangered you and your child with a violent outburst because you acted as a responsible parent.
Why have you gone back to him?
Will your baby have the rest of the vaccinations?
What else is he controlling over?
At some point you will have to leave him, it is probably better sooner rather than later.
I am not one to say LTB if the guy doesn't do the washing type thing you do often see on this site.
But violence smashing up the home and controlling irrational behaviour is a reason to leave.

Thank you all, I need a really big hug from a friend but lockdown makes things so difficult.

In hindsight I wish I had called the police. I did take pictures of the damage in case I need them in the future. My primary thought was getting us away as quick as I could. If I speak to my health visitor or the police after the event is there anything they can do?

I guess I felt bad about doing it behind his back, so that’s why I returned. He kept sending me messages saying he wanted to see his son. I felt guilty. This is my home aswell, all of mine and my baby’s things are here and I’m the only one paying the bills at the moment, despite both our names being on the mortgage.

Why are you discussing future vaccinations when what you should be doing is reflecting on why you took your baby back into a home with an abusive and violent father. You should have called the police at the time. DC are badly affected by witnessing this behaviour and can lead to a lot of anxiety in later life

@standupsitdownturnaround

He doesn't sound well at all. Monitoring your baby for signs of damage and claiming he sees them is unbearable. The poor child has 50% of their parents almost willing them to be sick. Children live up to their expectations and this is not a good role model.

Does he smoke weed by any chance? And does he hold down a job?

I'd be worried about the future.

He's not going to have a good relationship with healthcare providers in future, should your baby need medical care.

He will make life difficult with other parents.

He may be so attached to his beliefs that he starts telling your child they are defective somehow due to jabs.

Speak to your GP or health visitor.

You've hit the nail on the head here. Yes he smokes weed and yes he struggles to hold down a job.

I do worry about him trying to convince baby hes defective because of my actions, this is exactly the kind of thing he'd do

I would still report this to the police. If he does it again call them and hopefully he won’t be able to return to the family home. I would seek legal advice about the home as your not married and your paying the mortgage.