Will I have to take partner to court to get baby jabs done?

[emijs]

My partner is anti-vax. I’m very much pro-vaccination and pro-science but I have been willing to look into both sides.

We have a baby together. I decided without doubt the best thing for the baby was to get vaccinations done. He wouldn’t budge, is very very argumentative and irrational on the subject. I took baby to get the jabs done anyway (without his knowledge, i felt extremely bad about this but I know what he’s like there’s no way I would have been allowed to leave the house if he knew)

Anyway, when baby had a slight local reaction - little lump in each leg - he twigged and hit the roof. Started smashing things up, screaming, saying I’ve taken his rights away - all while baby was in the house, it was terrifying.

I escaped for the week and am back now. He seems to have calmed down but now keeps saying things like baby has changed since his jabs - claims this is the reason he wakes up screaming etc (pretty sure that’s teething!) it’s making my life a misery. He keeps saying how I’ve poisoned the baby.

Anyway, now he says I have to take him to court to get any more jabs done. Is this right? While I have no doubt I’d win, because surely this is about the best interest of the child, it all seems so unnecessary when inoculations are something most parent just do as routine.

I’m so sorry, OP. Listen to the wise women here, talk to Women’s Aid so you can make a plan to leave or get him out, and protect you and your baby’s future.

Be careful. Don’t let him know you are planning to leave. Stay safe.

My husband is very anti-vaccines and has resisted me getting DSs vaccines. Eventually I’ve convinced him to get most of them just spaced them out more than the schedule. He hasn’t been very happy about it but he definitely hasn’t shown behaviour like your partner which is violent.

When we talked to the GP about the fact that we have totally opposite views, they said that in law the mother’s view takes precedence and so ultimately it’s up to the mother. Call and ask your GP

I'd take the baby to the gp, explain what happened and get them to do a check up of baby and put it on record. I'd then report to the police. You need a paper trail.

There are ways of getting him out of the house but you need evidence.

He's abusing you. And your baby.

I really hope you are able to leave him permanently.

Your partners an idiot. You need to put your child’s health before his unintelligent beliefs. No you don’t need to go to court you just go and get the vaccinations done.

Ask him to leave. He’s a drug using abuser. He won’t change.

Right, so he got violently angry because you didn't let him endanger your childs life?

Leave. Don't ever go back.

When we talked to the GP about the fact that we have totally opposite views, they said that in law the mother’s view takes precedence and so ultimately it’s up to the mother.

Hold on. So if the mother was anti vax and the dad wanted the child vaccinated, the child wouldn't be vaccinated because that's what the mother wants?

GP/HV
Report to police
See solicitor or speak to Women’s Aid
Create a paper trail documenting the abuse and what you did.
💐

So you've got an abusive, violent, weed smoking layabout who is anti-vax, he's really not a good catch, honestly, I'd be out of there, or rather he'd be out. Good luck but don't settle for this abusive loser you and your child deserve better

You need more support. Your little baby doesn’t need to grow up in a house where things are thrown and smashed, let’s face it if you were baby sitting a friend’s child and this kicked off you’d never let him around that kid again. But with your kid you’ve brought them back as you feel there is no other option. Being on your own with the house and baby would be so much easier and less scary. I’m sure he has a good side but he’s not interested in looking after or protecting your child in fact quite the opposite. I bet you wouldn’t leave him alone with the baby?

Ask him for the double blind placebo studies showing smoking weed has no risk to mental health.

Go to the police & report it

Call some lawyers next week.

You need OUT but as safely & financially sorted as you can be.

You & your son don't deserve to be living like this!

Both of you needed to find a compromise to the vaccination situation

Could you explain what a "compromise" looks like in this context ?

Please contact Woman's Aid op.
Get legal advice about the house and having him removed, don't feel guilty about it.
If you're the only one paying the bills then you don't need him (although does he provide childcare?)
I know all this might be very easy for me to say and it's much harder to act on with strong feelings involved.
If I was being generous to him I would say his drug taking or mental health problems are affecting his behaviour (I doubt this, I suspect more likely this is just what he's like) and if he can stop and get help the relationship might have a chance to be saved but he would have to make very serious effort to do so.

@NeilBuchananisBanksy

I'd take the baby to the gp, explain what happened and get them to do a check up of baby and put it on record. I'd then report to the police. You need a paper trail.

There are ways of getting him out of the house but you need evidence.

Excellent advice here

serial the GP was wrong. Both parents have equal parental responsibility if the father meets the criteria I outlined above.
In a conflict of agreement it would go to court who would act in the child's best interests.
Practice nurse.

@SerialNChanger

My husband is very anti-vaccines and has resisted me getting DSs vaccines. Eventually I’ve convinced him to get most of them just spaced them out more than the schedule. He hasn’t been very happy about it but he definitely hasn’t shown behaviour like your partner which is violent.

When we talked to the GP about the fact that we have totally opposite views, they said that in law the mother’s view takes precedence and so ultimately it’s up to the mother. Call and ask your GP

Your GP is a ridiculous twat for saying something so incorrect

Your child will be more damaged living in a house with domestic violence than vacs or no-vacs.
Make plans to leave, then leave.

So, no steady jobs, wastes money and brain on weed, trashes the house when your views on parenting differ.... He scared you.

Take him to court, but to get a restraining order so he can't come near you or the baby.

My husband and I have had this argument too. He is very strongly anti-vaxx. To offer another perspective (I also will vaccinate my children no matter what), he was annoyed that I booked them, felt like I was poisening them but did not get violent. Your partner's reaction was not OK. This is a warning of what he's capable of.

This reaction was not okay, I would leave

He sounds like he's off his cake and paranoid to fuck. Long term cannabis usage causes irreparable damage and psychosis. Which is probably why he went off his nut over a certain thing. Next he will bloody set the house on fire while he's blitzed off his head smoking a joint and falling asleep.

Why you went back after escaping to freedom for a week is beyond me.

Op, please leave your abusive partner and protect yourself and little one.