7 year old boy. Really worried 😟

[MrsGxx]

Have a GP appointment on Thursday for him but in the mean time, I’m just looking to have my mind put at rest.

Before lock down, happy, healthy boy. Since lock down, I let him play a bit of PlayStation to communicate with friends, over headset on fortnite.
I feel like such a bad mum as it got quite out of hand, he would only do 1 hour of work the rest he would want the PS4, cry over it, got really attached to it.

6/7 weeks ago, he started getting headaches & feeling sick once every week or so.
At first I thought it was a bug, then it happened again and again.
It happened last Tuesday, and now it’s happened again today. (Headache and been sick) and still feels sick.
I have taken the computer off him.
Last week, I rang school concerned as he seems to have developed anxiety around family, and always wanting to be at home.
He has been sneaking on the computer without me knowing at silly hours of the mornings 5/7am hence why i have taken it off him.
Seems to have lost appetite more. He does eat but only small breakfast, hardly anything at lunch time but would always eat dinner. (Acceptable amounts)
He’s had no food today, only an apple which he’s bought back up.
Any ideas what this could be?

Please no nasty comments I feel awful I let the PS4 games happen a lot and I know I should have taken it sooner x

School let him back 3 days a week as I was concerned he was getting real bad anxiety etc. He started back yesterday. X

The headaches/sick/ps4 thing, could he be being bullied online? Sounds like classic anxiety over it, but keeps trying to join the “in” crowd so can’t stop.

I think you’re right to take it off him. It may get worse for a few days as he struggles with not knowing what’s going on, then should settle. I’s watch other social media and phone content too.

Can you look at what he’s been doing?

As for appetite one of mine is barely eating, but she’s not moving much either. Try upping walks/cycling/skateboard practice and see if that drives his appetite. My non eater is also struggling with constipation so exercise helps that too. I just keep asking her to try whatever meal, and also get bread/cereal as well as fruit for the fortified vits.

If its not physical then it could be general anxiety relating to lockdown (no school, worry aboutcovid itself etc), not just because of the playstation.

When my DCs were younger I limited gaming time, if any sneaky gaming happened I removed the controllers.

I don’t think he’s being bullied, I do genuinely keep an eye on him and can hear everything as the room is next to mine. I never really leave him unattended. I know they do have there small arguments over things. I have now taken this away and will see what happens while he doesn’t have it. I now have to wait for this bout of sickness & headache to go.
He fights sleep too, seems like the PS4 is always on his mind on a good day. If I ask him to come off I get trouble from him, or he just moans he’s bored and begs to go back on it. He doesn’t use phone/social media at all.

This seems to come every week or so, but when it’s not he’s not too bad at eating. Or too busy on the computer we have trouble with making him leave it to eat.
I know I’m in the wrong for the whole computer thing I think I felt guilty he wasn’t interacting with friends any other way. I keep offering food but he’s still being sick and now he’s completely empty but still trying to throw up which is now causing pain x

The headaches and nausea could definitely be technology related.

I get like that too using my phone on public transport.

Agree with looking at what he's eating aswell! Does he get much outdoor time??

I do believe he has developed anxiety after being at home for so long the PS4 was really all he did for a while until we started going for walks etc when we could.
He plays golf so since the courses have been open we try to take him as much as we can.

He started back at school yesterday just Monday Wednesday and Fridays as I told school my concerns and they took him back. But once he got home from school all he wanted was the computer until bedtime. It’s like he just can’t switch off from it x

Fortnite has a 12 age rating - it definitely isn't suitable for a 7 year old. Just take away the PS4, cold turkey. He'll hate you for it for a few days, but then he'll forget about it. In fact, i'd pack the PS4 away altogether for a few months.

He has been sneaking on the computer without me knowing at silly hours of the mornings 5/7am hence why i have taken it off him.

I do genuinely keep an eye on him and can hear everything as the room is next to mine. I never really leave him unattended.

Two contradictory sentences.
You have no idea what he has been hearing in the early hours
No wonder he’s anxious
I think you’re right to seek help

I'm not sure anxiety causes repeated vomiting ? Good you are seeing the dr.

If he’s sneaking on it without me knowing I can’t keep an eye on him can I?
But when I know he’s on it I do keep an eye on him.

Fortnite is the game all his friends play his age. I guess it was a distraction from the whole COVID stuff and a way for him to interact with friends.
I didn’t come here to be judged.

If he’s sneaking on it without me knowing I can’t keep an eye on him can I?

You make sure that he can’t access it without your permission. How many times has he sneaked in it?

And I have now packed it away. He doesn’t have access to it now.

If I ask him to come off I get trouble from him, or he just moans he’s bored and begs to go back on it

No point in asking him, and telling him won't work.

Take it away for a few months, and I would seriously speak to his teacher and tell her what's going on, our teacher is really supportive and I think it helps them to know when you are going through a tough patch.

I'm not judging you, I'm just pointing out that 7 year olds shouldn't be on Fortnite and he's obviously too young to cope with it.

There's plenty you can do - you can control his play time (both when and how long) Instructions, you can control what he plays.

If nothing else, you can take the controllers - we used to put controllers in a box and take it to our room at night, so the children had to actually ask for it.

He needs you to be the parent.

Why is a 7 year old playing fortnite? It aged 12 plus for a reason. And if he’s playing the computer without yo it knowledge, anything could be happening. Hopefully it’s something the doctor can get to the bottom of

You can’t actually put time settings on the PlayStation so it won’t work during the hours you specify.

*can !!

Remove the computer. Excessive screen time can cause headaches and weight loss if the person is so occupied with the game that they don’t eat. Are you sure the anxiety and wanting to be at home with family isn’t actually more about wanting to be at home with the computer??

I think he’s got something on his mind and he really needs your help to sort it out. Go back to your nighttime routine, bath, story, cuddle, bed. Chat to him about nice things, find some fun activities, but listen to him as much as you can.

Seven is a really key stage in childhood development. It sounds like he’s gone into a world he can’t make sense of and he’s frightened. Make him feel safe. No more Fortnite.

Could be his eyesight or inner ear infection. Could be totally unrelated to ps4.

Stop beating yourself up. There will be loads of kids who have spent ages on consoles. Mine included. You've done the right thing by clamping down after the sneaking.

Eyesight?
He could actually be ill if he has headaches and V today he shouldnt be in school especially if it's affecting appetite.

Have you considered if it might be migraines? I know he’s quite young but I was diagnosed with an adult, in retrospect the “headaches” I had as a child that put me to bed were probably triggers. Video games can be a trigger, so can stress. I’m glad you have a GP appointment booked.

Thankyou for the reply’s.

I think it’s normal to beat myself up, he is an only child and I think it’s been really hard on us all during this time.
I thought I was doing the right thing letting him communicate with friends but then it did get too much and I allowed it more than I should have.
He is now having a sleep which I think he needs, and I will speak to the doctor on Thursday. X

Computer has been removed and I will get us back to routine, eating properly etc x

DH gets headaches and nausea with some computer games, so ut could be related to that. See what happens now you've removed it - although you might find him very grumpy for the next few days if he suddenly loses several hours of gaming time a day.

My oldest is also eating MUCH less during lockdown. Mainly because he is moving less, I think.

We are all sleeping badly since luck down started.

The above, combined with some anxiety could well explain everything. Hopefully a bit less screen, and a bit more exercise and trying to lessen the anxiety will help him loads. The FP appointment is still a good plan just incase there is something else underlying ut all.

Please dont blame yourself - we are all learning quite a bit about schooling and parenting in these strange times!