Worried about bug for Christmas

[Londongirl86]

Hi everyone. My friend's sister had a sickness bug last weekend and into the mid week. My friend went around Friday with her little girl. I sort of said to be careful as it can linger. Her daughter's never had a bug before. I thought she was being to casual about it.

She messaged me this morning and said her daughter has been throwing up all day.

I know this sounds selfish and I get that these things are out of my control but.... It's Christmas next week. I was so excited for these last four days of school before breaking up for family time. But my dd is best friends with this child and she also gets stomach bugs most years. So if my friends child goes back this week there's a huge change we will have it by the weekend and it could be in our house then for Christmas. I don't mean to be a dick but I'm feeling so anxious. I don't want my little boy to get it either his birthdays next week.

All the money we have spent. We've made plans to have family to ours for the first year. I'm cooking my first dinner. Now it's looking highly likely we will be sick. I know my friend wont keep him home for four days. But 48 hours was not enough in her sisters case.

I can't exactly tell my child to keep away from her or not hold hands on Tuesday or Wednesday.

Not really looking for advice but just feel so gutted we have to worry about this ruining this long awaited break and family time. Please don't let us be ill for Christmas

Hey, just offering a handhold as I have similar anxieties. I try to tell myself that it's just as likely we could catch this from somebody else, it's just unfortunate you know for a fact your DCs friend has had the bug. The best thing to do is maintain good hand hygiene and encourage your DC to do the same, washing hands thoroughly with soap and water after using the bathroom and before eating anything. Hopefully someone else will be along soon with some better advice. Fingers crossed you all manage to avoid this and have a a lovely Xmas.

Hiya, thanks that's a very good point. I just know my DD will be holding her hand and stuff. I'm hoping she keeps her off all week until Thursday. It's spread through her family and remained contagious for days. I've told her to try and keep her fingers out her mouth and wash her hands. I'm not sure the teachers can keep them regularly washing hands. In fact she often comes out with paint and dirt allover them.

I hope we can dodge it. I panic about these bugs anyway but before Christmas is awful. Her schools half an hour away too and I don't drive. I hope we don't get the dreaded call and I also hope I don't start with it whilst she's at school. I wish I didn't think about these things 😔

I know exactly what you mean about wishing you didn't think about it. It's one of those things that it is hard to get out of your head once you start worrying about it. I'm so envious of people who just take stuff like this in their stride 🤦🏻‍♀️ I really hope you do manage to steer clear of it

I empathise so much, I have been worried about this for a couple of weeks now.

We are travelling abroad to stay with my family for christmas. Its a big occasion and I haven't seen them for a long time and I am petrified my DS will bring a sickness bug from nursery and it will all be ruined. I am considering keeping him off nursery all week to limit the risks but then I won't want to take him anywhere either, so it would be really unfair on him.

All I can say is that your DD will most likely be fine. Your friend went to her sister's house where bugs linger for a long time and are all around. Your DD might hold her friend's hand but if the 48 hour rule is followed and they are briefed about washing their hands I am sure it will be OK. The fact that you know that this child has been sick is a big advantage in trying to prevent catching it.

Good luck! As PP said, I wish I was one of those people who just took things like this in her stride, so instead of ruining the whole winter worrying about it, I'd just suffer the week when we are actually sick!

@FL59 exactly. It's like you can't make plans as it could all go wrong. I'm so disappointed in my friend. I tried to warn her. I personally would of avoided her for several days yet. I'm not sure what made her risk it. My anxiety is through the roof. I'm so annoyed. Her little girl will recover by christmas but her classmates will be down if she sends her in this week. I hope she considers keeping her home this week. She started the other end last night too so if she follows the 48 rule she still shouldn't be in until Wednesday afternoon if it's stopped now. But they break up Thursday anyway. Fingers crossed.

It makes me want to keep her home. I'm going to be anxious all week.

I hope your trip goes ok. What a nightmare xx

I guess your friend risked it because she didn't see it as a big deal. And if her DD has never had it before she probably doesn't know how horrible it is!

But generally people don't mind. I met up with a group of mums and babies once and one said casually how her DD had been vomiting all week. I spent the whole time making sure my DS was as far away from her as possible, didn't play with the same toys etc. I was definitely the only one doing this

It's good news if the earliest day she could send her DD to school is Wed afternoon (probably makes it Thursday) so you know you can relax today and tomorrow at least.

If she is a good friend couldn't you casually suggest she keeps her off for Thursday too to be on the safe side? She will understand her DD will still be contagious for longer as that's how she caught it in the first place. But most likely the diarrhea will last a few days anyway so fingers crossed she won't be at school at all this week!

She's sending her back tomorrow she said. She's lied to the school trying to make out it's what she ate yesterday. (Pop tarts) she's told the school it's over eating that's caused it. Isn't it infuriating. What am I supposed to do now?

That's so selfish of her 😔 I think I'd be inclined to keep DC home... But thats just me being paranoid... 😕
Can you have a frank conversation with her?

That's what my partner's saying but he said keep her off Wednesday and Thursday. We fully expected she would keep her off tomorrow too as she's had the squits this morning agaib.. My child's had 4 days off since September though and it seems unfair for her to waste days when she's not poorly. I am so upset. It's 100% guaranteed my daughter will be in close contact with her aswel. I feel like I'm caught between a rock and hard place. My child's had five stomach bugs in her short life. took a full week to get her eating and functioning again. I've now got another child who's not quite two. It would be horrendous if he caught it. We've just had new carpets too. I feel like saying to the school im keeping her off. She never keeps her child off when she's poorly with bad coughs either. So she's going to send her in because she is clearly another only thinking of her own child and not the other 35!

I've said to her if it was me id keep mine of again tomorrow to be sure it's not contagious. But now she's lied to the school about it being food related not her family having norovirus she will likely send her in. She said she didn't want her to miss out the class Christmas party. So risk all the other children getting norovirus so your child can eat a Christmas dinner and play games. Bluddy hell

Have you tried speaking to your friend and pointing out that it's highly likely her daughter will infect other children just before Christmas? I think I would have to say something in your position... 😕 I know what you mean and it shouldnt have to be your daughter missing school but if its going to ease your anxiety it might be for the best. Plus, I doubt they'll be doing anything that productive on the last couple of days? It's such a tricky one though isn't it 😔

Oops sorry cross posted, just saw you have spoken to her! I'd keep your DC off and do something fun and Christmassy at home for her instead!

Gosh, that’s awful of her. DS and I have hand, foot and mouth and I’ve been obsessive about keeping away from people cos I don’t want to ruin their Christmas (like ours will be when DP and DD get it ).

Could you call her out on it? Or let the school know anonymously that it wasn’t something she ate?!

Ring the school and tell them that the girl has Noro? Leave the ball in there court

Yeah I did try and tactfully tell Her. O can't believe she's telling me it's food related when she's told me about her sister and the rest. Pop tarts do not make you vomit four times and get the squits. She said if it was a bug she would of been sick more. How do you work that out when you have been near adults who have had it for a week. I am at a loss. Three days off for a fake illness will also make me feel so guilty. But I'm terrified of our family Christmas being ruined. I can't even tell the school as how can I do that to my friend. She would know it was me that reported it too. The amount of people who don't think about the consequences is shocking. Putting all these little four year olds at risk is so unfair. Loads of little siblings too

I am totally with you on this one. Coughs and colds are bad enough at Xmas but sick ruins everything. The thing is though she won't be the only one sending their dc in when they aren't 100%. So even if you tell the school and she gets sent home, or make your friend realise and not send her in, there will definitely be some other child in who's as a also been ill at the weekend. Sadly a huge amount of parents do send their child in to school when they've been poorly, disregarding the 48 rule.
Fil is immuno compromised and if dc are ill he can't be near them. So I'm also anxious for that reason. Encourage your child to wash their hands regularly at school and especially before eating. Get them changed as soon as they return home. That's all you can really do, oh and pray to all the gods!
I really hope you swerve it.

If you don't want to name names, I'd contact the school and say you're aware one of the children is less than 48 hours clear from norovirus and therefore your child won't be coming in for the rest of the week....😕

Bobstersmum I agree with you, but I do think it makes it more difficult when you know for a fact one of the kids is less than 48 hours clear... 😕 Its such a nightmare this time of year.

Are you legally allowed to refuse to send your child in if another child has gone back too early?

Keep her off but don't make your dd anxious about bugs or avoid her friend.

Not sure whether you are legally allowed to... How old is dd?

That would mean she has had 7.5 days off since September if she has all three off. This is really low attendance isn't it. I am so tempted though but I don't want us getting told of for attendance

My sons had more than that off since September, he's been genuinely ill though so there's nothing I can do. He'd only been back in a few days last week and he's off again now! It's because of people sending their kids in when they're not well why these things spread so much. I think your friend is being really horrible to send her child in knowing it could affect all the other children.

@scaredycatz I agree so much. It's so unfair I'm having to think of letting my child skive. It's making me feel sick with worry. How selfish to ruin Christmas and allow other little ones to suffer. I hope your little one is better soon. At least you do the right thing xx

If your child has gone in today and the other child is also in then there's not much point keeping yours off from tomorrow as they'll have already been exposed. It's horrible this time of year for this reason!