Ok to make a child clear up their own sick?

[FannyMcAdams]

I’d like some advice from parents out there please.

If your child woke during the night and was suffering bad sickness and diarrhoea and vomited in their bed (top bunk). Would you make them (still feeling very sick) climb back up the ladder with a bin bag and make them strip their bed and clean the mess up?
My next question is: would you expect this to happen to your child in a paid JUNIOR boarding school?
After cleaning the mess up the child was taken to the school medical centre where they continued to suffer more sickness.

I’d appreciate as many views as possible before I take matters further and to ensure I’m not overreacting.

From what age is it OK for someone to clean up their own sick? I'm genuinely curious.

No, that is awful. Poor little one

I don't think children should be sleeping in a place not accessible to adults.In this instance thank God it was a fairly trivial Illness but what if he had been seriously ill and they couldn't get to him?

If the matron can’t get to the top bunk then what do you suggest they do in the middle of the night?

What every other shortarse parent does, manages!
DCs both have the cabin type beds with the ladders. Fhe last time DD was sick was after a bad chest infection where she spewed everywhere twice. I did have to get her up to get her out of the bed whilst I flipped the mattress over to clean the sicky side and chuck all the vommy sheets in the wash, but I didn't expect her to lift a finger, and I fucking hate the smell of sick, it makes me gag too but I suck it up because as a single parent they're in my care and it's the least I can do for them.

To some PPs lecturing the OP on 'making' her child board, you have no idea why. I had a dear friend at school who wished her Army Dad would have made her board in one school so she had stability then she wouldn't have had to move schools and country 3x in 5years. So let's hold back on the piling on for now yeah?

NO!! That's horrible

To be honest I don’t think it’s a big deal. Mum would make us clear up after ourselves too. Last thing we wanted to do when sick, but it didn’t necessarily mean anything negative. Also sounds like it isn’t a school policy, but a personal one dictated by the needs of that particular lady. Talk to the headmaster, maybe move him to a different house, and ask for a bottom bunk.

It sounds a bit rubbish and matron sounds like someone not really suited to the role, but if your son is gutted you won’t let him go back then he’s clearly not traumatised by the incident. That would be my starting point. To those saying find another school, I imagine that is easier said than done particularly if you/he want a three night boarding option. I’m assuming the was a case of be a good lad and bundle those dirty sheets into this laundry bag rather than get back up there and clean up every last drop.

I'd let him go back if he has a bottom bunk, although it sounds like it wasn't only the height that was a problem, it was a squeamish matron.

And I'd be asking what the role of matron is, because I don't think it's unreasonable to expect a matron to deal with bodily fluids. If that's not her job then a) whose job is it and b) what IS her job?

Sorry I should point out that I'm not keeping him off school. Just the boarding for now.

To the people asking what kind of a mother needs to ask this question.... Me. I'm that mother. I'm attempting to build a picture for when I go back to the Head/Governing body so I can show that I'm not some overreactive moron who is expecting too much. If I can go to them with opinions from other parents it will strengthen my position.
X

I boarded from 13-18 & was never made to clean up my own vomit! We were always whisked to the bathrooms to get cleaned up then whisked off to San for some TLC (and usually paracetamol!).

If schools have 'access issues' then they shouldn't have bunk beds, simple as that. And whilst our Matron wasn't a trained nurse, she always got stuck in because she genuinely cared about the girls in her care.

OP the head sounds like a pompous prick tbh. If Matron can't handle the smell of vomit she is most definitely in the wrong job!!

If the Daily Fail are reading this let's hope it isn't their next story 🙄

That's awful. I remember when I was a kid in the 90's I was sick on the classroom floor (carpet). The teacher made me clean it up in front of everyone whilst she carried on with the lesson. I was then sick 🤢 again which showed her!

Matron needs a new job or the school need to rethink bunk beds so that no child is in a situation where they can't be accessed in an emergency.

What do you want to happen though, OP?

I'm not being snarky but what is your goal in complaining? Do you want an apology, a change in procedure, the matron sacking? Do you consider it a safeguarding issue?

I think before taking the complaint higher, you need to be clear what your objective in the complaint is. Especially as your son seems ok about it and is keen to return to boarding.

I think you need to think carefully before escalating the complaint as it seems a fairly minor issue in the larger scheme of things. I mean it's not pleasant but hardly life changing.

If the matron can’t get to the top bunk then what do you suggest they do in the middle of the night?

Perhaps they need a design where an adult can get up there. Child being sick in the night is hardly a 1 in 200 year event.

From what age is it OK for someone to clean up their own sick? I'm genuinely curious

Well my husband is 41 and I wouldn’t make him clean it up if he was ill.

It isn't a minor issue! Surely the op wants 1. clarity that staff in a boarding school are in loco parentis and the role is they have to be able to clean up sick just like parents do! 2. Reassurance that children who are being sick and have diarrhoea aren't being told to clean up after themselves, just like children with sprained ankles aren't being told to run to the school office.

Were they REALLY not able to reach the top bunk? If so, my worry would be that a child on a top bunk might become unconscious and no-one was able to get them down.

I think it’s a poor excuse really.

Regardless of whether you pay for your child's education , no this isn't fair.
A sick child needs love and care.

"From what age is it OK for someone to clean up their own sick? I'm genuinely curious

Well my husband is 41 and I wouldn’t make him clean it up if he was ill."

Interesting, so the age is never for you? He'd have to if he was on his own though wouldn't he?

@Shadow666 Hi there. Totally take on board your points. As most mum's would be I'm just upset that a) it happened in the first place and b) the response from School. I appreciate that it's unlikely he'll be emotionally scarred by it and that he does really enjoy his nights in boarding. They do loads of fun stuff there and I don't want to take that away from him purely to make myself feel better.

She doesn't like this smell of sick and can't work out a way to reach the top bunk???? This is surely a piss take?? The head should be disciplining her if that was her response, not actually giving it as a excuse. What's the procedure now if you want to take it further? I would not be happy at all with the way they have handled this.

Really? Do you really think the Mumsnet jury are likely to persuade the head if the incident having happened isn't enough?

No wonder your child loves to board.

Is it actually safe to have kids sleeping in places where the adult in charge can't physically get to them?

What about a medical emergency where the kid couldn't get out of bed? Genuine question by the way, maybe it's deemed an acceptable risk, I don't know.

Interesting, so the age is never for you? He'd have to if he was on his own though wouldn't he?

I think so. He isn’t though. And I’d clean up,after anyone who was sick in my house due to illness. (I’d be less sympathetic if it was alcohol I suspect.)

Cleaning up someone else’s vomit when you are healthy is not overly pleasan5 but it is bearable. Cleaning up when you are ill yourself is horrific.

(I remember the time when me, dh and dd all came down with a horrific vomiting bug within about 2 hours of each other. I was violently sick and then we heard dd shouting for us. Dh went to see her and then about two minutes later yelled for me to come now. I tottered out on (very resentful) very unsteady legs and dh handed me he bowl that dd was being sick in to hold for her. And ran at full pelt to the bathroom where he too was violently sick. We spent the whole night looking after dd and trying to clear up (we were on holiday at the time so no decent cleaning materials) whilst occasionally running to be sick ourselves. It was a long long night.)

"Cleaning up when you are ill yourself is horrific."

That's a bit of an exaggeration. I'm single so I have to do it and did it as a teenager too. Occasionally it can make you vomit again, but it's not horrific!