Ok to make a child clear up their own sick?

[FannyMcAdams]

I’d like some advice from parents out there please.

If your child woke during the night and was suffering bad sickness and diarrhoea and vomited in their bed (top bunk). Would you make them (still feeling very sick) climb back up the ladder with a bin bag and make them strip their bed and clean the mess up?
My next question is: would you expect this to happen to your child in a paid JUNIOR boarding school?
After cleaning the mess up the child was taken to the school medical centre where they continued to suffer more sickness.

I’d appreciate as many views as possible before I take matters further and to ensure I’m not overreacting.

Who males a poor kid clean up his own sock whilst he's actively sick?? Is be looking at other schools

Sounds like something from Victorian times!! Bordering on cruelty... poor kid. Please bring them home

Hmm. I’m not sure I’d be punishing him further by making him miss out on something he loves. Maybe she asked him if he felt able to do it and he did because she couldn’t get up there? Your update does make a difference.

Well then she's in the wrong fucking job isn't she would be my reply to the Head!

What a crap reply,anyone who has children and has used bunk beds know's that there may be a time you have to climb up the sodding ladder and when a child is being sick would be one of those times.

I'm really sorry that the school have let you and your DS down,it beggars belief that they think this is okay.

I wouldn't send my child to board in the first place because I want to be the one who, amongst other things, clears up their sick and comforts them if they feel ill....

I wouldn't even expect 30 year old dp to clean up his sick if he was ill never mind a child.

Definitely not that's cruel!

Not ok. What's the headmaster on? Of course there's been a breach. How can they expect children to clean up their own sick?

It can’t be the first time a child has vomited...

Is Matron a nurse? Since when have nurses refused to deal with bodily fluids because they find them disgusting?! That’s honestly shocking.

You’re paying for this school OP?!

We lived in a boarding school as children when my dm was housemistress and she would clean up after the girls if this happened-they were 16–18 yos. They were in her care, loved by parents who would’ve done the same thing for them. My dm was in loco parentis, no matter how messy the incident. The sick child is affected but so are the others! Bad practice and cruel.

I know this is a completely different situation but I worked in a soft play and often had to deal with sick.. I fucking hate sick and used to struggle with my own sick but you just get the fuck over it because it's your job. Bullshit excuse!

Matron couldn't deal with the smell and it made her gag.

She's in the wrong job then.

It made her gag? Tough. It’s her job.

I bet it made the poor boy gag too, given he’d just been sick.

You’ve done the right thing.

I'm astonished by your posts.
First, that you even had to ask whether it was unreasonable. Seriously?
Secondly, about the school's response which is also pretty incredible. What are you planning to do about it?

No one can expect anyone else to give a shit about their children, especially not a school which makes a profit off them. I feel an enormous amount of sadness for your son but by handing him over to the care of people you will hardly have known, you are partially responsible for the situation having arisen in the first place. Of course you will have hoped that this sort of thing wouldn't happen but when it's your own child I consider that the threshold should be set a lot higher. Some responsibility lies at your own door for setting up a situation where your son is cared for by virtual strangers in circumstances where he is sick and vomiting. That sort of caring is really a parent's role and either your or his father should have been there and looking after him in the first place.

@eyesaidthefly really? I'm still in touch with some of my teachers. In my time I remember many of them being very kind to me, more so than my own mother at times. As for making a profit-that's more of an ibsentive to provide proper care. If they don't their business will fail and they will all loose their jobs, this isn't the state sector where you can do fuck all and the union will take care of it or the parents won't care in the first place.

No its not ok. I have asked DS to pass me bits off his bed before when hes still been up there but like a pillow or his blanket, not strip and clean the whole bed. Dealing with other peoples children's sick and poo is disgusting (way more so than with your own DC) but it is also something you have to kind of expect to do when working with children!

How dreadful. No. Never.

I would go up the fucking wall. You are paying someone to look after your child as well as or better than you would do yourself. Would you ever leave your child to do this at home?

this isn't the state sector where you can do fuck all and the union will take care of it or the parents won't care in the first place.

Do your kids go to a state school? If so, and it's as you describe, I'd move them.

OP even private schools are subject to OFSTED for boarding facilities. I'd move my child and report this. Not normal IME, and I boarded myself.

I think that would totally have happened at my boarding school. How does your son feel about the whole thing? If he wants to go back, then I think you’re being OTT keeping him off.

Ah, memories of boarding days - I had to do very same thing although that was 25+ years ago.

I think that the head teachers response is unacceptable. A matron should expect sick vomity children to be part of the job description. How do the beds get made if staff can't reach them? If she really could not reach, it could have been left rather than making a sick child do it. I'd complain to ofsted as they inspect boarding.

But things like Noro spread like wildfire in a boarding school and juniors often share rooms. It’s not acceptable to leave sheets covered in sick on the beds. It wasn’t ideal but at boarding school children are responsible for changing their own beds. If the matron can’t get to the top bunk then what do you suggest they do in the middle of the night? I can understand why the OP is annoyed about what happened but to be keeping her son off school when he’s desperate to go back is just bonkers.

No it’s not ok.

But from friend’s accounts of their time at boarding school, hardly surprising.