Obese DS 12

[Bobjames200411]

.So recently I saw my son with out his top on and I was shocked he had moobs but they weren't small they where big and he had a big stomach. So I weighed him and he was 71kg and I measured his height and it was 161cm and put it into the NHS BMW and it said very overweight
. Know I knew all about this but I spoke to him and he said he didn't think he needed to do anything and that there is another boy in his class that are the same size and bigger.
I am in total shock about the way he looks and am questioning what to do co he doesn't want to do anything.

Well you need to begin by looking at the food you're providing and the exercise he's getting.

He's obviously eating too much and not moving enough.

Does he have money for school lunches? If he does, stop that and give him a packed lunch daily.

What's he eating at home typically for breakfast and dinner? What snacks does he have and what drinks?

If you give a sample menu, then we can probably advise you on some easy changes to make.

He'll be having a growth spurt soon. Keep an eye on extras and encourage activities.

Well he might NOT be having a growth spurt soon pasture. For all we know, he's just had one.

My son was like this. It was chicken and egg because he avoided sport because he was big though he ate well. At 13 he got a paper round and started using a bike. The weight started to come off and he joined a football team . He is now tall and slim and so much more confident. He still eats lots but the exercise made the difference.

This is about lifestyle OP. You cook his meals, encourage activities and teach him about healthy choices. Suddenly realising he's very seriously overweight is quite surprising too, surely you could see that?

If my approach seems harsh, I do apologise but I find this topic very emotive.

Diabetes runs through my DHs family in part due to their extreme obesity and unwillingness to change. Doctors have been warning them for years that without a change in weight and lifestyle others will develop it.. Family members have died young leaving young DC and/or lost limbs and yet, they, as a collective whole eat very very unhealthy food and they will not do anything that involves exercise which is now impacting the next generation.

I genuinely believe that this is neglectful parenting - OP are you leading by example or are you also overweight?

Nice. Someone posts asking for advice, and they get accused of neglect.

OP: this is something I am very sensitive to, as I had weight problems as a child. It's so hard to know the best thing to do, as it is so easy to develop food issues. My personal belief is that we worry too much about weight, when it is health that matters. I would focus on the quality of his diet, and on giving him the opportunity to exercise - does he have interests? Martial arts, biking, running, surfing etc... Or would he go to a gym? Or could you do stuff as a family? I found that lifting weights changed so much for me, as it increased my strength, my health and my metabolism. I am also very competitive, and run races, which means I am constantly trying to better my running time. I think goals like that are better than weight loss goals, personally.

Good luck - it's such a difficult issue!

Haven't you posted this before OP?

If he is self conscious about sport then how about using something indoors like a wii ? Or start doing family walks together. Have a family pact about snacks and fizzy drinks, make it a family decision to limit them for everyone. Just don't make it that he is the only one making changes.