Parents of pre teen girls/10 & 11 year old girls I need your advice....

[MrsStevenPatrickMorrissey]

My eldest dd is turning 11 in the summer, and in this last year she has changed so much, I'm just wondering if this is hormones or something else (I am suspecting it is hormones) so would like some advice from those of you who have or are going through the same with your dds.

Her mood is really up and down, tears and tantrums every few weeks and then she'll be her happy self again for a few weeks, no sign of her period yet but there are changes on the chest front, and she says that sometimes they can be very painful (is this normal, I really can't remember this stage in myself) the other thing is her appetite has vanished completely....she had a great appetite and now all she will basically eat is toast and crackers, which usually leads to a tanturm when I try to broach the subject....she runs for our local athletic club so she really needs better nutrition but I don't want to fight with her over this....how can I get her to eat better as she had been doing...and the other thing is she complains of feeling full up a lot, after a few bites of dinner she feels full up and bloated, and in the morning sometimes feels dizzy?? I have had her to our go who said it's basically changes in hormones but it does worry me.

Sorry for the long winded story, just wanted to see if anyone else has a dad going through the same, and thanks for any advice

I have a dd the same age. The only thing I would see as an issue is the eating/bloating. I'd be taking her to see a different gp if you can by way of a second opinion, ask them to investigate the stomach and dizziness issues and leave everything else out so as not to cloud the picture.

Could you use her running as a tool to get her to eat more? Would she understand that if she's to run well she needs all the right nutrients inside her?

Moods, tears & tantrums, sore boobs, same with my nearly 11yo and totally normal as far as I know.

Will she drink fruit juice and/or milkshakes to get nutrition into her?

Moods, tears and strop queen here. Boob pain not complained of, but terrible growing pains in knees ( which I had they are awful).
Food mostly good healthy appetite, DD us currently over weight not related to diet provided with me, it is gradually normalising .
When she is nice, she us very, very nice, when she is nasty she is horrid.

Thanks iknow & lonecat good to know I'm not alone! I have spoke to her coach at the running group, my dad really likes her and thinks she's the bees knees! So she said she will have a chat with her in relation to eating the right foods to get the best out of her training, which might help, as she will probably listen and not talk back to her. I have a Drs appointment as well for the end of this week, she is still getting the dizzy spells and feeling bloated so I will get that checked out. Ohh the joys of preteen parenting....and as everyone else keeps telling me, it can only get worse!

Thanks again for the advice

Argggg that's suppose to be my dd not my dad

did wonder about the dad!

dd is 10, and is quite well developed. She definitely has massive mood swings, and apparently they can occur up to 2 years before periods actually start.

All sounds normal, except the food thing.

Maybe she is dizzy because she isn't eating enough?

My DD11 is permanently hungry.
Thankfully she isn't moody!

She may be showing some signs of eating disorder. The dizziness could be from lack of eating, saying she is feeling full/bloated could because she doesn't want to eat. Eating disorders can be a way of controlling moods such as anxiety. Is she an anxious person, does she put herself under a lot of pressure to achieve things? I would contact BEAT 0845 634 1414 for a bit of advice.

Please contact your GP urgently for support and information regarding eating disorders. ALL of the symptoms you mention can be attributed to restricting Anorexia Nervosa. I speak from personal experience of having a daughter in the grip of AN. The quicker you get help the better if this is the case. Your daughter is NOT too young, she doesn't need to have lost huge amounts of weight etc etc.

I let things pass when I shouldn't have, probably because I didn't want it to be true.

I agree, blob pain, mood swings sound normal. Food thing and dizziness does not. Please try and get some advice.

Mines either gorgeous or vile, no half measures. She snacks a lot and eats good size portions, she is very sporty like your daughter. You do need to check out the lack of appetite, just to be on the safe side.

I've just re-read your post and seen that you have been to the GP. Please see a different GP or go armed to talk about eating disorders and push. I know it's scary, but restricting food is NOT at all normal and ED's bring huge personality changes too. If it is an ED then proper specialist help is essential, a well meaning coach etc won't be enough to help her.

Thanks everyone for your advice and replies, I took dd to the gp at the end of last week and the go did agree that the dizziness was very likely related to not eating, I told her I was a bit concerned in relation to eating disorders, which she agreed could also be an issue. She took blood tests and I'm still waiting to hear back about that. I did talk to dd and to be honest knowing her I really don't think it is an ED issue, she has been very constipated as well, so the gp gave her something to help with that, and since she has been eating better and not been complaining of tummy pains. So I will keep an eye on this. The moods are most definitley still on the go, having great fun with her friends one minute and sulking with me over me asking her to pick her clothes up or tidy her bedroom....I think they are turning into teens younger and younger now! babyno3 I hope your dd is getting better and receiving the help she needs, I can only imagine how hard it is for you, I can understand not wanting it to be true.

Thanks again folks for the advice

Grrrr that should read GP!

BTW OP my DD had sore boobs, body hair, moodiness, spots from age 11 and I was sure she'd have her period soon. She's nearly 13 now and still no period. Quite developed otherwise: hips, boobs, body hair just no period. She can't wait now which is a welcome change from being too young/ill-prepared at 11 when it first kicked off.