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Original poster

Confused About Foreskins!

29 replies

Lucymumsy · 13/02/2015 10:28

I hope I am posting this in the right place? I am new to Mumsnet and wanted to know if any mums have any thoughts or advice?

My son is two and his foreskin is still closed and I am very confused as to when to pull it back, if at all? My confusion is made worse, as my first boy, who is now 10, was circumcised, shortly after being born, so I did not have to deal with a foreskin with him! My ex was also circumcised, so, all in all, I am a novice when it comes to foreskins, both with my boys, but also as a woman, as my ex husband was my only sexual experience.

I chose to not circumcise my youngest, and want to have him deal with the foreskin, as and when. My GP has said I have no urgency, but when he pees his little foreskin does balloon out, as it seems very tight. He seems to get a lot of erections, too and I wonder if this is due to the skin not retracting?

When can I pull it back, simply to clean and get him into a routine of cleaning under it?

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Original poster
Lucymumsy · 13/02/2015 10:30

P. S. His foreskin also seems very long, with a lot of overhang. Is this normal?

OP posts:
durhamgirl · 13/02/2015 10:36

Sounds totally normal to me, my sons does not retract fully yet and he's 4 plus he has a fair bit of skin overhang too. The nurse said it can take up to when they're 7 for full retraction to happen. Dont try to pull it back too soon as it can leave permanent damage. Erections are normal too, especially if they're a fiddler!

rubberducky87 · 13/02/2015 10:39

I wouldn't worry if you have already spoken your GP and he's not concerned. However I do know that if left untreated and not cleaned it can cause irritation and infection.

The skin may stretch on its own over time but if it doesn't then you can start to stretch it or you can take him to have a small snip in it to widen it.

Sorry if that's not much help!

dementedpixie · 13/02/2015 10:40

the only person thsat should pull back the foreskin is the owner of it! It can take up to puberty for it to retract and it is fairly normal for it not to retract at age 2.

Showy · 13/02/2015 10:41

Just leave it alone. It might not retract for years yet. Erections are normal.

DixieNormas · 13/02/2015 10:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dementedpixie · 13/02/2015 10:44

www.doctorsopposingcircumcision.org/info/retraction.html - this gives info

DixieNormas · 13/02/2015 10:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Lucymumsy · 13/02/2015 11:29

My son is almost 3. My GP is a woman, too and she has boys, so she is useful to know! She said that it is a mum's job to teach her son to pull it back to clean, so I would disagree with the person who said the only person who should pull it back is the owner, as my GP said that if the skin does release, of its own accord, then that is when it needs to be cleaned, as urine, sweat can then irritate! It is odd, having had one boy with no skin at all! And yes, the overhang is very prominent.

No, he is not a fiddler, lol! But the thing is teaching him to pee now, his foreskin balloons as it has this trunk-like end, which is tight. So maybe this will push the foreskin away inside anyway?

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dementedpixie · 13/02/2015 11:43

yes, she can tell him to pull it back to clean but the owner of it should be the one to do it as they can judge whether it hurts or not. Why is it a mum's job and not a dad's job btw!

From nhs site:

Don't try to forcefully pull back the foreskin of a baby or young boy as this could be painful and cause harm. Their foreskin might still be attached to the head of the penis and will therefore not retract fully. At this stage of their development, there's no need to clean inside the foreskin.

www.cirp.org/library/normal/ - this mentions ballooning

dementedpixie · 13/02/2015 11:45

www.kidshealth.org.nz/foreskin-care

Original poster
Lucymumsy · 13/02/2015 11:47

I think it is a mum's job, as mum's tend to bathe their children. AND I am divorced, so no dad, as he has vanished! The NHS guide you quoted, I know, as we all do. Mums might know more than a text-book. Not helpful!

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5madthings · 13/02/2015 11:50

Four boys here, leave it alone! Do not pull it back, he will do that himself as he gets older. As long as he baths etc, then it will be fine. A bit of ballooning can be.normal, if it ever looks sore/red etc then.yes get it checked out but otherwise leave it.

Original poster
Lucymumsy · 13/02/2015 11:54

Thank you 'four boys'. No, not red, just big ballooning! And some tears.

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Original poster
Lucymumsy · 13/02/2015 11:55

Sorry... 'tears' as in crying! Lol... no 'tears' as in of the skin! Thankfully.

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gamerchick · 13/02/2015 11:55

2 boys here. Leave it alone I agree. YOU do not need to pull it back ever,he will do it himself and when you notice he has you teach him how to clean.

Leave him alone.

dementedpixie · 13/02/2015 12:01

I have a boy (age 8) btw and the info I have given is helpful. You do not need to do anything with his foreskin, he can do it himself so leave it alone

Original poster
Lucymumsy · 13/02/2015 12:05

Great! Good advice, as once he has pulled it back, I am sure he will tell me! But what if they try and pull them back too soon? Has anyone got a boy who has done that? It is such a fine line, between telling him not to touch his willy for pulling back too soon, which I would try and do, but letting him touch it, if he plays. My circumcised son was, obviously, different, as the head was exposed from the year dot! I am not a mum who is prudish about boys 'playing' so when he played or touched, I would just ignore it, but the he had no foreskin for me to get confused about. I tried asking him advice, but at ten he won't discuss his willy with me, lol!

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dementedpixie · 13/02/2015 12:10

that's why it's best to leave it to them as they can feel if it's uncomfortable or sore. Mine tended to stretch his outwards which looked painful but didn't seem to bother him at all!

Original poster
Lucymumsy · 13/02/2015 12:21

Yes, mine is stretching his foreskin outwards a lot! Do you think they are doing this, because they almost instinctively want to stretch it, so it releases? Amazing little skin! I wish I had left my oldest boy's now. I only did his, because his father was circumcised! But he left me whilst I was carrying, so almost as an act of defiance I decided not to have my little one done! Glad I didn't, but I don't know what to tell him about having a foreskin, as I have no experience. As I said my ex and I were together since I was 16, so my only man! I know how the penis works, without a foreskin, both as a mum, with my eldest, and as a wife, too. So sexually I understand circumcised, too. I have no idea of what to say when my young one develops more.

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gamerchick · 13/02/2015 12:43

Heh it's not just the stretching.. its the wrapping it round pencils and stuff. Makes you wince Grin

He'll sort it out in his own time OP. If he can pee okay and it isn't red or sore just let nature take its course.

Original poster
Lucymumsy · 13/02/2015 12:52

What?? Wrapping it around pencils and stuff?? How old is he and why? Lol. And what do you say? Are you being serious, lol?

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MNHQ
KateSMumsnet · 13/02/2015 13:12

Hi Lucymumsy

We're just going to move this our of Bloggers Chat and into a more appropriate topic.

gamerchick · 13/02/2015 13:33

I am.

Original poster
Lucymumsy · 13/02/2015 13:53

Oh, where is this posting moving to? It took me ages to find this spot, so is there another spot to post this, for information? I am confused??!!

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