3 year old constant poops!

[millimurphy]

Seems like it is all the time - I have to change my 3 year olds nappy/pull up at least 6-7 times a day. He is not doing proper big poops - just small sticky piles (sorry TMI can't think how else to explain it). I am sick of changing nappies.

He is resistant to potty training at the moment and screams at the mention of using the potty. He knows when he needs to poop and will run off and hide in another room until 'finished'. Have tried cold turkey with the nappies and put him in pants - this lasted less than an hour after 3 pairs of pant changes for small poops and then one big and hysterical wee all over the hubbies computer chair.

This can't be normal can it? Please help as all I seem to be doing is keeping the nappy companies in profit. He is never going to use the toilet is he?

Which "side" of 3 is he? Going on 4 or just turned 3? As for the poos...what's his diet like? Typical daily menu?

My DS used to have a major meltdown at the mere sight of a potty. Lots of screaming and backing into corners. I gave up. Then he started seeing the bigger boys at preschool using the loo and all of a sudden wanted to himself. Finally! But it had to be in his own time and on his own terms. At first he just liked to sit there but yesterday he managed a wee and today not one but FOUR poos. Woohoo! I am amazed. I think we are all made to feel that we SHOULD be potty training our children when they turn 2 and there's lots of showing off about it by other parents when their little ones take to it early. But, like most things, they do it when they're damn well ready. Hang on in there.

You are describing classic symptoms of impaction, witholding and overflow.
Please look at the ERIC website for information and advice.

Thank-you for the replies. He is just 3. His diet is rubbish - I just can't get him to eat properly. I end up giving him milk as he eats so little . He'll have 1 slice of wholemeal toast with honey for breakfast. A veggie sausage for lunch and maybe some bread and butter later on. He is offered small versions of what we have and will just refuse to eat it. I am crap at this parent thing. No-one told me they would just refuse to eat.

I did wonder if he was withholding as it sometimes looks like a big poop is about to come out (sorry TMI again) and then nothing. I am taking him to the doctors today and see if she thinks impaction/withholding etc.

I think 3 is too big for a potty. It must be very uncomfortable.
I would try a child seat on the loo with a little step up.
If he is witholding he will be in constant pain and discomfort and will not feel like eating. It causes all sorts of behavioural problems too.

Thanks Littlefrogs - I agree he is too big for a potty. We do have one of those small loo seats with a step - he becomes hysterical as soon as it is placed over the toilet and starts yelling, 'no toilet' etc. Doctors appointment made for this morning. He is saying he wants to go to the doctors as he is 'poorly'. I have ordered some 'poo' books off amazon. Interesting that this may be effecting his eating! It has been going on for so long - I thought he was pooping properly but just lots - this was obviously wrong from some of the things I have been reading. Poor little lad - just feel like I fail him so much .

Don't feel bad OP. This is so common and sometimes it is much easier for someone outside the situation to see it. When you are in it it is hard to be objective.
Can you remember an incident when it might have been very painful for him to poo? Did he get very constipated at some stage?

You may need to forget the potty/toilet until the bowel function is restored. It can take months/years to fix impaction and you need to be prepared for a long haul and being absolutely consistant.

When he goes and hides to do a poo, what is the result like?

Google the Bristol stool chart. It is helpful when seeing your doctor.

Read the Eric website carefully.
Not all GPs know much about this.
The only sure way to diagnose it is a plain Xray, but most GPs won't do that.

My dd got an anal fissure due to severe constipation following chickenpox. she passed a huge poo which caused the fissure and because of the pain she started witholding.

It took 2 years to sort it out and retrain her bowel. It can be done and it is so, so important to do it now, before school age.

Thanks again Littlefrogs. Been to the docs. Described all his symptoms and the doctor has prescribed Movotel (don't think that is spelt right sorry). Waiting for this to come through at the chemist. The doctor also felt his stomach and said it did feel quite blocked so he is sending him for an ultrasound. Feel quite worried now the doctor said he can feel something - he did say it was probably only poop but my brain has now gone into overdrive worrying about other possible things.

When he does poop the result is soft and mushy. Got to go as the baby has just woken up!

Try not to worry OP.
It is fixable, but it will take around twice as long as the problem has existed, so be prepared to use medication and bowel training for a couple of years. Don't be tempted to give up early - it really does take that long and you need to sort it for your DS's sake before he starts school.

It is a physical and psychological condition and needs careful management.

I was panicing about trying to toilet train him before he starts nursery in September and I have been getting angry with him for what I thought was pooping all the time. God I feel like one of the worst parents ever.

Hubby has ordered a special mini car toilet (as in Disney 'Cars' and Lightning McQueen) - our little lad has an absolute obsession with cars and this is how we finally got him sleeping in his own bed - by getting him a bed shaped like a car! So lets see if he has his own special car toilet that he can start to feel comfortable about just sitting on a toilet. Not going to put any pressure on him to do anything. Just waiting for the chemist to call to say the prescription is ready.

Thank-you again littlefrogs. I will let you know what happens!

I had to go back to letting DD poo in her nappy for a few weeks so she could get over the fear of pain.
Then we gradually progressed to using the toilet.

I am going to take it at his pace Littlefrogs. Have his medicine now - trying to get him to drink it is the next hurdle. We made a veggie pizza for tea with a side of veg and onion rings - the 7 month old baby has eaten more than him!

Hope your daughter is all right now Littlefrogs? I am meeting up with my two sisters tomorrow for a discussion about this and some moral support. They are both mumsnetters.

She is absolutely fine millimurphy, thank you.

I just feel very sorry for anyone going through this. I made the mistake of stopping the treatment after a few weeks, thinking that we were back to normal, then had to start all over again when we went back to square one. It was a long haul.
I found the ERIC website very helpful and I was lucky that my GP is very knowledgeable.
We had a few weeks of using suppositories which was grim, but necessary. (As well as 3 different types of medicine - this was before movicol was available).

He is refusing to drink now - he has had half a carton of Ribena all day and that is it. Crying on for milkshake - I read that the movicol doesn't work properly in bloody milk. Actually they are both crying now and I don't know what to do. He won't take the damned movicol - what the fuck am I supposed to do?

Make it into ice lollies with ribena?
Most DC like ice lollies in this hot weather.
Or add it to a packet jelly as part of the water? Serve with ice cream.

Make a fruit smoothy and add it to that. If you make it with banana it looks like milkshake. Put sprinkles on top and serve with a bendy straw.

Remain calm and smile.

As long as you dilute it in the correct amount of water first you can add it to anything, including milk. So you could add the correctly diluted sachet to a milk shake.