Webbed toes, DD just twigged and upset

[Maghag]

DD, almost 2.5 yrs, has the last two toes on her right foot joined, webbed apparently. It's only the skin and doesn't effect her walking/running in any way.
She's never taken any notice until last night when she tried to separate them (like you might to rub sand out) and was really upset. I wasn't thinking I'd have to tackle this until she was a bit older so I just said that's ok, they're meant to be like that and DH distracted her with something else.
I want to be prepared for when it comes up again which of course it will. I was just thinking of saying that it's another thing that makes her special, she'll be a super swimmer, she's mummy's little mermaid etc etc.
She's very bright and has pretty advanced language and comprehension for her age. Just wondering if anyone else has dealt with little body anomalies so they're happy and not freaked out?
Btw, will apparently need a graft to 'fix' so I was going to leave her to decide herself when she's older if she wants to have it done as it's cosmetic and I'm not putting her through that if it's not something that will bother her.
Sorry for the long post. Ta.

My friends ds had this and she had it cut (?) when he was 2, he was very excited by being a big boy and having his toe 'fixed' and was running around that afternoon! I know it's no help but if you decided to get it done earlier then there's a posative experience for you!!

Seriously, I think that is really cool! Can you approach it like that? That she has this neat superpower that not many people have and it will help her to swim super fast or something?

If she's noticed and is upset, is that perhaps your cue to look at having it done?
Are you sure it will need a graft? Just that I have known a couple of "webbed" toes in children, and it hasn't needed a graft.

My dd2 (10yo)was born without a hand. There's little you can do about that at present. She has gone through times where she has got very upset, wantes to change herself, even attacked her little arm when she's felt it has effected something she's wanted to do. But on the whole she gets on with life, and does what she wants to, and is fine. Her main issue is people looking and staring, or asking questions which obviously will be a smaller issue as your dd is not going to be as noticable.

Children who are born without fingers (but palm of hand) do sometimes do a toe to finger transplant. They tend to have it done at preschool age if they're having it done. As a general rule, those who have had it done, say they';re really pleased that their parents decided to do it, and say they feel it gave them greater access to things. But those whose parents chose not to, say they like their hand the way it is and are glad to have "perfect" feet.
So if you decide to make a choice for her, then she'll most likely be pleased you did.

DeWe, thanks for your input and you must have a remarkable little girl.
The peaditrician we saw when she was tiny said a graft but that was 2 + years ago. They are quite joined and the nail on the little toe is a bit wonky.
Anyway, hopefully she'll just see it as a little bit unique and not be bothered by it if we do our bit right.

My dd2 has webbed toes between third and fourth toes on both feet, and loves it

She is 7 now, but first noticed when she was about 2 as well - we were very matter of fact, like you, and said some people did and some people didn't. When she was a bit older we said they were special, and that she might swim like a fish (she does, it turns out!) and she was thrilled.

She's been proud of them ever since, and tells people. She quite enjoys (at her age now) the 'weird' factor - no embarrassment at all. I did once tell her that if they bothered her when she was grown up, she could have a teeny operation to snip the skin and make them look like her other toes, and she said she would never want to lose her webbed toes...

I think if you take the lead as you plan to, your dd will be fine