My 7 month old has been referred for only being at the stage of a 4 month old

[IcouldstillbeJoseph]

I just want to vent.

DD2 doesn't roll or sit. Hates, hates, hates tummy time. Won't weight-bear.
But I wasn't concerned - just thought they were all different. DS was v quick to do all those things and I just thought she was lagging behind.

But I went to clinic today as I wanted some advice about weaning as she doesn't reach out for food. Well, not with any consistency anyway.

Came away with her being referred. Apparently she's only at the stage of a 4 month old.
The HV I saw is fantastic and has picked up some things with my first DS that I'd not noticed, so I trust her judgement.

Now I'm worried. I was very poorly in my pregnancy and now I'm totally shitting it concerned she's been affected.

Sorry you're feeling upset

I think it's good your HV who you say is good gas picked this up

It may be that your LO is just doing things later than your first

Either way I think you need to get things checked

It is better to be referred and maybe get early intervention eg physio. Eg talk about ways to build tummy time, help her learn to sit etc. is she very floppy ? Does she make good eye contact smile etc ? Ask for thorough check eyes sight hearing etc. then you know what you dealing with and always ask what can be one what is available eg physio sessions etc .

If she just late developer then input now won't do any harm .

You can also ask about your illness in pregnancy and ask if it linked with any delays. But none of this is your fault.

Thank you

The HV said her muscle tone was good. She does smile and make good eye contact. DS was mute/severely hearing impaired until 18mo (which the same HV picked up) so I feel sure she's not deaf as she's very different to how he was.

I'm just so worried, that's all.

And I do feel like it is my fault - HV was basically saying I need to stimulate her development more. More tummy time, more trying getting her to weight bear etc. She has spent more time "in things", bouncy chair etc as she's been so happy to sit there, kicking about and watching her brother.

My DS was the same, wouldn't roll, took longer to sit isn't crawling yet, but bum shuffles, has just started to pull himself up on furniture and he's a year old today. He was content to sit in his chair or lie on his mat and watch the world go and he continues to be a laid back child. DD walked at a year, my friends little boy who's the same age, at 16 months. My point is babies develop at different rates so Really, don't be hard on yourself, I'm sure she'll be fine.

She has spent more time "in things", bouncy chair etc as she's been so happy to sit there, kicking about and watching her brother my dd was like this so I had to make a conscious effort to do more floor based stuff (although meant I had to sit with her as toddler was charging about too!)

Hopefully the referral will help you out and it's good it's been picked up early.

I am a little perplexed. DD couldn't sit up unaided at 7 months and didn't weight bear and there was nothing wrong with her. (She did roll over though)

I am glad that you have been referred and so will get a medical opinion, but I wanted to add my experience that what you're describing was normal for my twins.

At 7 months they could sit if propped up (widgey cushion on floor, small cushion in back of highchair etc), didn't roll (not for ages - DS was crawling before he could roll) etc.

Also anecdotally, my sister never crawled or bum shuffled. She sat still on the floor until 18 months and then got up and walked. Mum reckons she was quite content to sit and watch the world go by, so she had no need to crawl anywhere!

My twins are perfectly in line or ahead of their peers in the nurseries early years assessments of them. My sister is a professional, home owner and a mother!

I hope the referral goes well for you.

I guess the HV saw more that worried her from handling her than me simply saying "she doesn't sit/roll" etc.
She doesn't reach for things very well either.

If I had a trouble-free pregnancy and birth I may feel differently but it's worrying me so much.

Thank you all for your supportive wirds

Words!

try putting her on floor more on a mat rather than in a chair then she might be motivated to roll etc. every time you nappy change, put her on her tummy, even for jsut ten seconds (graudally build it up to longer) .

the good thing is getting referred - if she has good eye contact is smiley etc then that is most important thing. if she needs a referral to physio to check her over, for physical development, then no harm done. it will help her.

it is much better you get referred now and you can ask about any link with your pregnancy/illness/birth too. and whether those issues linked with any potential problems. and what can be done to help.

some children justt develop differently - on a differnet time scale - but some children yes do end up having some issues - my son does and was referred at that age and i was v cross about it at the time! but in the end it helped him long term.

(and i repeat: even if you got sick in pregnancy - it is NOT your fault - you didnt ask to be ill right? and I am sure you didnt go out binge drinking all the way thru your pregnancy or did anything willingly that woull cause harm, did you?)

but early intervention is the best thing you can do.