1 year olds tantrums getting worse!

[penny1989]

Hi everyone, really need advice.

My son has just turned 1. He has always been a content happy baby but for the last few Weeks his mood swings have been terrible.

Whenever he doesn't get his own way eg. When I stop him from turning the DVD player on/off he will pull his hair and smack himself with both hands in his temple repeatedly. Other times he will sit against the wall and hit the back of his head off the wall until he cries.

Whenever he sits on my lap he will pull my hair, slap me in the face, pinch me or grab my face whilst screaming at me. But if I stop him he will scream louder and keep trying.. if I put him down he will do what I described above and hurt himself. I can't win.

He is in a settled routine with his feeds and naps, I don't know what else to do.
Anyone gone through this or have any advice.

My friend went through this with her DS (now 2). He has calmed down a lot but still has the occasional outburst/breakdown, involving all of the self harming you have mentioned. As an outsider i can see he is frustrated. He is a good communicator for his age (his speech is above my DD) but i would consider other frustrations in his life. Friends DH works away so her DS is missing Daddy a lot. Is there any big inconsistencies? It could just be down to his frustration of not being able to speak? One year molars or eye teeth coming? (eye teeth are a b*tch!) is he walking? Maybe he's frustrated with getting around?
I think the best thing you can do is give him lots of reassurance and love- make sure he knows you are listening and acknowledging his feelings IYSWIM?
If he is hurting you, it's important for him to know that it hurts mummy. A firm 'OUCH!!! Not nice! That hurts mummy!!' Or 'we do not hit/pull hair/pinch' etc will hopefully get the message across? Sorry to hear... It is a trying time.

When you can see him in a situation that may lead to a tantrum, can you distract him somehow? Move him into another room, go upstairs and look out of the window and talk about what you can see. Prevention is better than cure right?

I agree face- distraction is an excellent technique.

There is supposed to be a big cognitive growth spurt at 55 weeks, according to the Wonder Weeks book. There's a fussy period before then (and maybe a bit after) so he may have less tantrums after that.

No he can't walk yet, not really trying either. Seems happy enough crawling. It's always the same few things inside my home setting him off so I try my best to distract him or play a game but within 5 minutes he has had enough and will go back to it. It's a nightmare when I take him out as he wants to explore and I can't let him so he does it alot when I'm out which is very frustrating as it's harder to distract him.

he doesn't see his dad often. When he was two months we broke up and he didn't see him again until he was 10 months. They are not close at all which hurts but to be honest my son doesn't seem to bothered whether he's here or not as he interacts the same with my family or friends just the same. He is only close to me, which hurts more because it's me he takes his frustration out on.