Any mums with health anxiety?

[PJM18]

Hi. I haven't been to the doctor so not officially diagnosed with this but am aware that I become very anxious and over worried about health issues in my family and myself. I'm a health professional myself so find it a bit embarrassing to admit this but think it is a problem.
I find that if one of my children mention something that most people would dismiss ie 'my leg is sore' my first thought is oh my god, what if it's bone cancer or if one of them look a bit pale I get a leukaemia worry.

I'm interested how other people deal with this as I don t want it affecting my children by my constant analysing them. Has anyone had treatment for this and did it help?
Thanks

This awful health anxiety stopped me enjoying my children early and school years. It became slightly easier with my last one as I learned how to stop normal concern escalating into panic. I would have loved a magic pill to help but apparently the doctors are reluctant to prescribe tranquillisers because of the risk of addiction offering counselling instead, which I refused . I've coped by taking my kids to the GP as soon as I thought there was something wrong rather than wait and let the worry fester. If and when my concerns proved feasable, a referral to a specialist soon sorted things out.

Hi oldmum. I, too, have been trying to head straight to the GP rather than stew on things, which does help keep a lot of the worst time-wasting panic escalation at bay. Feel badly for being the person who overuses the NHS, but is better than endless worry though sleepless nights. However, I do now have a two-year old who says things like "I'm a bit poorly, I need to see the doctor". I'd really like to sort myself out before he internalises any degree of health anxiety himself. Know now that much of my feeling of being under threat all the time probably stems from my mum's anxiety and want to break this chain.

Hi ladies! I know this is an old thread but this is SO relavent to me at the moment.
I have convinced myself my 3.5year old had the big C (I can't even bring myself to say the word). She gets the odd high temp and is usually quite warm anyway, but she took a nosebleed for the first time at the weekend and I freaked out. I feel sick with worry. I'm currently waiting on my referral for counselling as I've suffered from HA for a number of years but it's shifted from me now to worry about my daughter. I'm really struggling so any advice would be helpful!

Yes I'm in overdrive at the moment.
The reason? Dd1(5) had tooth/gum ache and has 1 bruise! So now I'm trying to persuade myself it's not leukaemia. God do I feel pathetic 😣

Hi
I have only just joined today and I have been reading the anxiety posts and the healthy anxiety in particular.
I have suffered with health anxiety for a few years now and I believe the cause is being diagnosed with 3 life threatening illnesses from 1998 to 2010. This resulted in me having really bad panic attacks which thankfully I have not had for a long time now. I was originally diagnosed with Valium, which I hated taking but only did so for a short time. Gradually the panic attacks went away but the worrying etc. has stayed with me to this day. My GP sent me to a psychotheratist who was very good and things calmed down for a while, but when my time with her finished I was back to worrying etc. again and really don't seem to be able to stop. Someday hopefully I will be able to do so, I live in hope.

Thank you all for your comments on this subject it has been very helpful.

Hello!
I am also a long term health anxiety sufferer. I was convinced I had HIV, heart failure, breast cancer, brain tumor, you name it! Now since I had my 2 children my health anxiety transferred to them and I can't stop freaking out. I am also the worst post - partum. It's been 6 weeks since i gave birth and I can't stop from obsessive thoughts. Perhaps it's postpartum OCD? It is a complete nightmare as I can't relax and enjoy my baby... I feel for you ladies!!!

I suffer crippling anxiety too. Mine was brought on when I found out my daughter was misdiagnosed when she was 7. Clinicians ignored her advanced bone age so she missed out on treatment that would have made her grow to normal adult stature. Now its too late and she has MH problems dealing with it and I can't move on because I want to go back and put it right 😢.

I try to get out for a walk to help and I'm somehow just functioning enough to keep my job but some days are super tough.

I never knew how bad anxiety could be until this happened to us.

I've also tried mindfulness and yoga and medication for panic attacks.

I'll keep following this post for helpful advice. Keep trying everyone!

Hey all. Another sufferer here. I've been crippled wother health anxiety for years. I've had cbt for it and currently take citalopram. It's never totally gone away and still get panicky. Mainly over my ds health who is 2. Anything like when he gets a temp or a bug. I drive myself wild. Also suffered with viral induced wheeze. Gastrointorirus at 11 months old. This hasn't helped my situation xx

Me too, it's hard to control it sometimes and very hard to block the negative thoughts when children are ill. I always have something to worry about regarding my own health. It's a horrible thing to live with; I have great sympathy for everyone who suffers with it.

Staying as busy as possible helps, as does finding as many ways to create happiness and exicitment and positivity. When I'm going through a bad time in other aspects of my life, my health anxiety tends to hit the roof

This is an old thread but wondering if I can connect with anyone suffering with health anxiety about kids health as I am having a very hard time. This popped up when googling for support threads for anxiety and I was bemused to see I'd done the same thing on this thread in 2016. Lots of responses then, so think there are a lot of us on here.

@hjbeans hi! I suffer from health anxiety too, mostly over my ds but also myself to a lesser extent and my husband. Its so stressful and consuming isn't it?

My sympathies and good to connect. It is utterly exhausting, and impacts the whole family at its worst. Today's one of those days, so looking for solutions. Have you found anything that helps?

Sorry to hear you're having a bad day with it, it definitely makes the whole household tense when it starts to spiral. I found a book on amazon simply called "how to overcome health anxiety" which was actually pretty helpful when the anxiety was only about myself because the book is about self focus etc I don't think it would be as useful to resolve concerns over children. Are you on any medication? I'm continually told by dh to try meds but I just can't bring myself to, I'm too afraid. Some days it feels like I'm afraid of bloody everything. What are your current concerns?

Have generalised anxiety but haven't tried any long-term medication, mainly because my GP said there's a chance things feel worse before better and I've not felt any capacity to cope with feeling worse. Both DH and I work full time, with lots of travel, and have a 2 and 4 year old. Anxiety has been bad since DS2's birth, but still feels we're in the trenches just getting through the weeks and have trouble thinking of doing anything that could make things harder.

Have taken lorazepam / diazepam as needed when not sleeping and that has helped to break the exhaustion feeds anxiety feeds exhaustion cycle. Have also had some counselling which has been useful in helping me focus on some of the reasons I'm like this and given me some coping mechanisms. When I start properly spiralling down, though, I'm still pretty helpless to reign things in.

Concerns at present are a bit about me with an ongoing issue (all compatible with perimenopause and/or stress, but being investigated to rule out anything serious). This complicated mentally by losing a friend stupidly young to cancer last year so every abdominal problem is clearly going to kill me, too. It almost certainly will not.

The real problem is with DS2. My stupid anxious mind has been telling me since his birth that I'll not have him for long, and he's very pale and growing slowly. He's been hospitalised three times with breathing problems with infections - the last time pneumonia which no one caught until he was very unwell despite my taking him in many times to be told his chest was clear. So any cold at all that seems to go to his chest, any grogginess lasting more than a few minutes, and I'm sure his breathing is wrong again and that I, again, will be the only person to notice it.

He's had recurrent hives this last week, which had me on high alert. And he's been coming in to sleep on me as he does when a bit unwell so my sleep has been bad. And then his runny nose turned into a cough this weekend, with noisier breathing and low energy - so cue utter panic and a thousand conversations about whether we need to go to the children's hospital. It's paralysing and a huge strain on my DH. At the moment I'd take all the drugs in the world for a bit of mental peace and perspective.

What is it about taking medication you're scared of?

The side effects at the beginning of starting a medication are what put me off, I don't think I could bare to purposefully put myself through depersonalisation (sp?), the nausea (I also suffer from emetophobia so vomiting is huge deal to me), dizzyness, spacey feelings etc I couldn't even touch gas and air in labour because of fear of nausea and spacey feeling and I don't allow myself to get drunk either. I've had counselling 3 times, the first time was before motherhood and found to be very helpful, actually had the whole thing under control until I became pregnant, then spiralled again due to morning sickness and fear of any pregnancy complications like pre eclampsia etc so had 2nd round of counselling during pregnancy which helped a bit, then had some talking therapy not cbt after my sister passed away which I found did nothing.

I know this isn't helpful at all but I literally don't understand how anyone who has been through the things you have with your son would not be as worried as us? It's just a case of trying to keep it under control I guess.

My current concerns are throat cancer due to a small cyst on my tonsil and recurrent cold type symptoms in throat/nose. However my huge downward spirals are always over my son, he's 3.9 yrs and suffers from recurrent ear infections and constant congestion plus mild sleep apnea, he's currently on waiting list to have his adenoids removed after being diagnosed with mild glue ear in both ears but passed hearing test so grommets not advised. I've had major concerns with leukemia for the last 9 months due to two incidences with limping (no injury) both put down to irritable hip at A&E with no real testing done, plus paleness, barely gained any weight in the last 20 months (3lbs to be exact), and catches every viral bug going.

The strain on relationship is very hard isn't it? I always feel as if I'm being dismissed with my concerns by dh but tbf he's probably right, it doesn't help me feel any less stupid or worried though and then I accuse him of not caring enough, paying close enough attention to symptoms etc.

Also forgot to add I share your "intrusive thought" of not having ds for long, since his birth I have felt he would not make it to his 4th birthday. That is approaching in 3 months and is always on my mind, if nothing does happen I have swore to myself I will not allow myself to believe any further intrusive thought of that nature.

Sorry for the slow reply, nogods - things have been crazy at work and I'm still not getting much sleep as I listen to DS cough / worry about DS's coughs. Sorry your bot sounds very much like mine and a genuine source of worry. Also very sorry for the loss of your sister. I lost a good friend last year and I've found that has made it harder to not assume the worst as the worst had happened for her.

I'm also sorry you also have the intrusive thoughts - even knowing there's no reason to believe them, they set the tone for all my feelings and seep into all my relationships. It's really hard to have your brain telling you horror stories all the time.

For me though the hospitalisation, etc., certainly don't help I know the anxiety is way out of proportion. And it's a thing of it's own in that of it didn't hang on this, it would find something else to dwell on and other relationships and situations to poison.

At my best I can keep the actions and emotional response to the thoughts in control. Usually I can control my actions but not my emotional response. At my worst I can't control either. It's all so exhausting and stops me enjoying the good times. Always worst when tired, too, so it's a vicious circle.

Oh hjbeans I know exactly how you feel, I'm laid here with my son asleep in my bed coughing his lungs out, snoring and a fever that's being controlled by meds which is due to creep up again in approx 30 mins. Husband is at a michael mcintyre show with his brothers.

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend, it really does make it hard not to think that the worst can happen because it does and what's to say its not going to happen to us or our family? My worst bit is my sister died of something relatively rare and when my hubby says things like meningitis is so rare, I think or say but so was my sisters illness but it still got her!! Just because it's rare doesn't mean it isn't coming for my family, urgh I feel so stupid sometimes when I hear myself.

How is your son, did anything become of the hives? Xx

My 4yr old is upstairs asleep with a temp. I am sat here googling everything I can about fever symptoms and worrying about serious illnesses(I can't even type the M word because its my greatest fear, ever since a child in our town died)
I developed HA myself last Year when I suffered with stomach problems for many months and went through lots of different tests..(I am fine, IBS and HA) I became literally convinced I had Cancer.
I am a natural worrier but was never this bad with my first child and ever since my own health concerns I find myself panicking about every little illness my youngest gets!
It's tiring and I hate the way it consumes me.

Sorry your wee one is hot and clogged up. Has he been ill long this time? Seems all the kids at nursery are ill with one thing or another despite it being a stupid time of year for it.

The hives went away over the course of a week and never caused him any discomfort. He's had this episode of bad chest both before they and after they stopped. GP said she could hear fluid on his lungs and suggested an inhaler. It's been less than a week on that, but no difference - cough getting worse. Though GP two days later said his chest was clear. He's been ok in himself but got the call from nursery today that he'd slept lots and was groggy and emotional. Twenty minutes later he was playing and fine, though. He's now stalling sleep and working himself into a tantrum which of course clogs him up and makes his breathing sound that much worse. I'm half infuriated he won't go to sleep and give me the few hours break before he wakes crying to sleep on me and half not wanting him out of my sight because his breathing sounds ratty. Mental demons are lose this evening.

Yes, the rare thing happening doesn't help with rational thinking does it? That illusion that things always turn out ok in the end and that we're protected somehow is properly swept away. My therapist talking about learning to live with uncertainty, as the fact is we're never absolutely safe. And also about challenging the feeling that I'm solely responsible for stopping bad hinges happening. I have been scared of bad things happening and have felt responsible to stop them all my life and motherhood has just turned the dial up to 11.

Welcome, charlie. Sorry you're here, too, but does help me, at least, to see how many of us there are and how similar our experience is. Don't know if I can get the tone of this right - but it stands to reason that all three of us can't both have cancer and have kids about to die of something no one spots but us. The stuff our heads are telling us is so similar it has to be mostly HA driving bad thoughts rather than bad things actually being about to happen to all of us.

Hope your youngest feels better soon. Xx

I suffer badly from health anxiety. It all stems from losing my first son at just 4 months old, i am now absolutely terrified of losing another child, so much so it makes me ill with stress and worry 🙁

So sorry for your loss, bigkingdom. Have you had any treatment for the anxiety? I can't imagine how difficult it must be.

bigkingdom the trauma you have went through it is absolutely no wonder you now have HA. I'm so sorry for your loss, have you had any counselling?