9yo sleep issues

[123rd]

My dd has been having trouble getting to sleep for a while. She is a v active normal girl, goes to brownies, dance class, participates at school etc but just can't go to sleep. We do the normal bed routine- some chill out time, warm milk, biscuit. Then she has a story when she is in bed. Usually bed time is 8pm.but it's not unusual for her to still be awake at 11pm
We have tried EVERYTHING. Letting her listen to music , complete silence, having the room cosy and warm, lavender in her bath and on her pillow. Even camomile tea- which didn't go down well. Do you think it's worth taking her to Drs? I have asked if anything is worrying her and she has said no. but this has been going on for about 18mths. She is really fed up and frustrated with it too

Supernanny tip ... If she's not going to sleep til approx 11pm, start making her bedtime later than her usual 8pm. Say 10pm. Then gradually bring if forward by 10 mins every few days or so. In a few weeks her body should adjust back to the more acceptable time of 8pm.
Personally though, I'd do usual routine (bath, drink, snack, story etc) then I'd just leave her to go to sleep, on the understanding she stays in her bed. I wouldn't go back in the room at her age tbh. If it takes 2 hours for her to fall asleep then so be it. She'll get there eventually, when she realises nothing else is going to happen. Sometimes the more we fuss and the more we try, the more we actually create a bigger problem.

I'd second that advice tbh. I would keep bedtime at 8pm and say you expect her to stay in her room and she can read quietly until she's ready to go to sleep but she has to stay in bed and not bother you. If you make it a non issue then it will hopefully help stop her getting so frustrated.

Thanks. We do leave her to it. She knows that after 9pm is "grown up" time-not in a weird Pervy way just a not having to watch Disney Chanel kind of way
I agree the more we fuss she will pick up on it. Just frustrating for everyone. She does get up for school ok but must admit she would/does sleep for England at the weekend ...which I try not to let her do but then I fall into the trap of letting her catch up.

Definitely don't let her catch up at the weekend. At 9 she is old enough to suffer the consequences of her late sleeping ... If she knows you'll let her catch up at weekends then she knows she can sleep late mid week, you'll never get this sorted. I'd also keep her bedtime routine the same at weekends, no late nights. Once you put her to bed at 8pm, just go about your night as though she's fast asleep, she'll soon realise she's not going to get any attention at all so may fall asleep quite quickly once this realisation sets in.