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Original poster

DS still asleep, what to do?

949 replies

ClutchingPearls · 02/01/2013 13:18

DS is 15 months, been generally a bit grumpy for a week. Last night he was especially grumpy so calpol'ed him at put him to bed, he had a slight temperature. He hasnt woken since.

Waiting for an "urgent" call from GP nurse which will be this afternoon or possibly this evening.

Nothing specific, slight temp, was occasionally pulling at ears, decreased appetite. But he's completely un rousable, changed nappy with DD1 and 2 in the room jumping about and he just slept. He obviously is responsive because I've got a few oz of water into him and nurophen in him. But I cant wake him any more than that. So he's been asleep for 17 hours looks poorly but not collapsed. Occasional small cry but by the time I've got to his door he's asleep again.

So MNers should I call the GPs again, NHS direct or am I just wittling about nothing and let him sleep it off. DD2 has complex medical needs and I'm always on the ball with her getting her seen as appropriate. But a normal "abit unwell and sleeping child" has completely thrown me.

OP posts:
CatPussRoastingOnAnOpenFire · 10/01/2013 22:15

Don't be daft, you can say whatever you want to us. That's what we are here for! I'm really glad he is on the road to recovery. These things take time, but he and you will get there. Xx

5madthings · 10/01/2013 22:16

Oh clutching dont apologise!

I am sorry it all seems so hard and upsetting but glad the drs are pleased and he is making progress.
Ihe has been through a lot so its to be expected that it will take a while for him to recover. Be kind to yourself and accept all the help you need.

Sending you love and strength xxx

strawberrypenguin · 10/01/2013 22:17

Glad he's awake and improving clutching you are doing brilliantly and helping him just by being there. Sorry you feel so alone I hope you are getting support too. Be kind to yourself your boy will emerge when he's ready I hope it's soon and you can get him home. Thinking of you Flowers

takeaway2 · 10/01/2013 22:19

Oh I'm so sorry that you are going through all this. What do you mean DS isn't 'there'? Is it because of the heavy duty drugs that have affected him so it's just a matter of time? Or is there some other illness or disease that the drs are talking about??

Do you have anyone who can help out with your daughters? Or even help with driving or cooking, cleaning?

My DS was in great Ormond st for 2 weeks and it was tough. With my younger child at home and not understanding why her brother and mother weren't around. Hang in there. Where in the country are you?? We can help. We are in the south east.

EmbroideredCloths · 10/01/2013 22:19

Oh my dear. How hard it must be for you. I wish my thoughts alone could lighten your load.

Your son is getting better. You must remember this and hold onto it. He went on a journey without you, his first trip away from you, and he's finding his way back.

I wish you and your family all the best from the bottom of my heart.

BluelightsAndSirens · 10/01/2013 22:22

Oh clutching, my heart goes put to you. I have tears in my eyes reading your post, you sound so lost and scared.

Would it help to try and visualise it from your sons point of view? He went to bed at home where he feels safe and then woke in a never seen before environment with every thing going on, he is such a small little treasure he is now struggling to find is way and is scared, so scared he has lost his own voice.

Could you take some familiar things to him? Teddy, or a TV programme her really likes so he can start remembering where he came from?

Do you have a portable laptop/TV something t pay familiar music on maybe.

Again I'm offering help if you need anything at all, I'd appreciate it if you let me know where you are even if I can only send chocolate to you!!

You have been through a traumatic time and unfortunately the gp hardest bit is here now, you have to focus on helping him come back round and remember who he is and what he has to look forward to.

Maybe fav ice cream, ice pops etc

Just throwing ideas around.

Big hug for strength for you x

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 10/01/2013 22:23

Don't apologise. This is surely what MN is for. Offload, vent, say what you need to say, then get back in there and give that boy cuddles Grin The DS you know is in there. He just needs to regain a little more strength and then he'll cuddle you right back. Have some very mumsnetty [[[[[hugs]]]]]

QOD · 10/01/2013 22:32

Sounds so hard, you poor thing, have you got a chance to sleep nearby when someone else you trust is with him so you can have a proper sleep x

IwishIwasmoreorganised · 10/01/2013 22:32

It sounds like it's suddenly hit you what a long haul this has been and still will be for a while yet.

You're doing a great job, being there for your ds.

His body has been bombarded with several heavy duty drugs and his brain has has a massive insult. Both factors will take time to get over fully.

Please do accept any help that you can, just to lighten your load a bit.

You're doing great.

Xxx

Pancakeflipper · 10/01/2013 22:37

It's really hard to take in that they don't just wake up and be exactly as they were before all the drama.

As IwishIwas has said - his body has been bombarded.

But he will get better, it just takes time... It's scary and takes your mind to places you don't want to go. But you will burst with pride at times too at your amazing boy.

Hope you are managing to look after yourself too.

EllenJaneisstillnotmyname · 10/01/2013 22:42

Oh, clutching, so glad you are still both hanging in there. Just take it an hour at a time and get through the days. The important thing is that he is improving, though, however long it takes. I hope you have people to help you in RL. I know your neighbours have been helping but school friends mums etc? They would only be too happy to help, I'm sure. People like to do something, it makes them feel useful. Smile

((((hugs)))) for you and your family. There's always someone here on MN if you need your hand holding. X

OhYouBadBadKitten · 10/01/2013 22:43

It must be really hard with everyone trying to look on the bright side and saying things that don't actually reflect the reality of what you are seeing and dealing with. He will get there but actually I think that the prolonged shock that you are going through will take longer than he will to heal. Massive hugs for you. People here know that things will take their time and that there isn't going to be a quick and magical 'oh he's better now', but that he will get there.

Fishlegs · 10/01/2013 22:44

Clutching I'm so glad to hear that your baby is awake & getting better, but it must be so hard to see him like this.

My ds had an operation at 5 months, they couldn't find a vein to give him medicine to go to sleep so I had to pin him down so they could get him to sleep with gas. It was awful & I really regret that now. Afterwards it took him weeks & weeks to recover from the op. It was 6 weeks until he smiled. I really felt that I'd lost my beautiful happy baby, but couldn't really do anything but be there for him while he went through this terrible time.

Then he just slowly slowly recovered and a few months or so down the line it was like he'd never been through the whole experience.

I don't think you can do much more than just be there for him. We used to sing ds his previous favourite songs & look at his books, and I think he did find that comforting. It's really hard to create any feeling of intimacy with your child when you're still in HDU/ICU. Maybe your ds will feel more relaxed on a normal ward?

Sending you hugs, be strong for your baby x

KateUnrulyBush · 10/01/2013 22:44

He will get there. Probably quicker than you think, just keep giving those cuddles when you can and be kind to yourself.

Iamsparklyknickers · 10/01/2013 22:45

Clutching, I've followed your thread and been checking in on your updates. I'm so relieved on your behalf your boy is heading in the right direction recovery wise.

I'm glad your gaining support from these posts and just wanted to let you known that there's one more person sending you positive wishes. I'm sure there's many more x

Angelico · 10/01/2013 22:45

Clutching your feelings are perfectly normal now that the initial shock and fear have worn off. Of course you want your DS back and he will come back - but in the meantime look after yourself as best you can, have a little cry behind closed doors and then go back and give him a big hug when he'll let you. He's had a big shock too poor wee critter but he'll amaze you how he'll bounce back xo

eosmum · 10/01/2013 22:46

We're thinking of you here, wish there was more we could do for you.

PacificDogwood · 10/01/2013 22:47

Clutching, I am so glad to hear he is awake even if he does not seem to be back to his normal self yet.
Please pace yourself, this can be a marathon and not a sprint.
The severity of his illness and its impact will only slowly sink in and you have a big adjustment to make. It will take time: for you to be less scared and for him to be more 'himself' again.

Look after yourself and simply be there for him - my thoughts and best wishes are with you x.

MiniEggsinJanuary · 10/01/2013 22:47

You are doing such an incredible job Clutching and we are all so proud of you and your DS. You are both amazing. Hang in there, normal will be back soon xxx

charitymum · 10/01/2013 23:05

Glad things are moving in right direction.

It must be scary. Is your unspoken worry that you won't get your DS back as he was before? Have doctors given any indication that that is likely or potential outcome?

The hospital will be used to supporting children back to health ad happiness. As he gets stronger play therapists are a great resource and staff will keep close eye out for any developmental problems and address those at earliest signs.

It sounds like a typical recovery so far. Scary,slow and unsettling but a recovery nevertheless.

Take all help you can. I'm on Kent/Sussex border if that helps.

Love and prayers.

toomuch2young · 10/01/2013 23:06

Keep going, every day is a step in the right direction. Rant away here, never apologise, we are all here to listen and keep praying and thinking of your little DS. Your doing brilliantly x

TrazzleMISTLEtoes · 10/01/2013 23:11

Oh clutching I've only just seen this thread and read the whole thing with my heart in my mouth. So pleased that DS is improving but yes, absolutely feel free to rant and rave as much as you like. We can take it.

Chippingin are you still here? What did you mean by saying children with the cp vaccination need to be extra careful? DD has had the jab already and will have the double dose again when she turns 1... I'm scared now... I know she can still get cp but DS' consultant said if she got it, it would be very mild.

twogirlsandamessyhouse · 10/01/2013 23:21

Have only just seen this and have tried to read through the entire thread on my phone... with tears in my eyes... Hope things are improving, thinking of you and your little one! xx

MumVsKids · 10/01/2013 23:23

Sending lots of get well soon wishes :)

There's chicken pox residing next door but one to me at the moment. I intend to keep well away :(

DollySisterMadeNoResolutions · 10/01/2013 23:34

Thanks for taking the time to update us Clutching. It's wonderful that your ds is improving and that the drs are pleased with his progress.

Please be kind to yourself. All the time your ds was sedated you were dealing with far more than any mother should have to. You are physically and emotionally exhausted. You have done incredibly well, staying strong, coping with so much.

Things will get better. Things are getting better and each day will bring improvements, albeit small. He'll get there. You both will.

All he needs from you is exactly what you are giving. Love. A familiar, smiling face, and more love. You really are doing an amazing job. Really.

Take care of yourself. Be easy on yourself. My thoughts are with you x

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