Mini-trazzle and his candles vs. neuroblastoma

[Trazzletoes]

Hi, continuity thread for my little DS (3) who was diagnosed with neuroblastoma last week. Much gratitude for all the support the Trazzles have received. You nasty nest of vipers, you

Trazzle - people care about you, DH, DD & of course the 'star of the show' Joseph. They want to help, they don't care how 'filthy' your house is - and anyway, it's far more satisfying cleaning something that actually needs cleaning :) You and your DH have more than enough on your plate without worrying about putting the hoover around and cleaning the loo. Let your friends take it in turns to help you out - wouldn't you do the same for them? Or if you can afford it and feel better, pay someone to do it, but for goodness sake - delegate it one way or another, you need someone else to be keeping the house nice for you.

I hope J's temp is fine when you take it at 9:30 and that you all get a half decent nights sleep
x

Oh sweetheart, your friends don't care about the state of your house. We are much more concerned about you and Joseph. People WANT to help! You'd help if it was one of your friends going through this.

Hope his temp goes down. X

Joseph sounds like a lovely little (big) boy!

I hope that his temperature is coming down and you all have a quiet night.

I can totally understand that you are feeling down, you have had some horrendous weeks in which your whole world has been turned upside down. It would be strange if this didn't catch up with you in some unguarded moments.

As for the house, I agree with all the others, do accept any help. People will want to help you, they won't judge you in any way. However, if you really feel very uncomfortable with that could you then consider getting a cleaner during this period?

It is lovely to hear that your DM is there to help you.
x

Ordinarily, I would agree that friends don't care, and I wouldn't die of shame if, for instance, Buffy came over. In fact, an old school friend is popping up tomorrow for an hour or 2 and I'm fine with saying: hi, my house is a shittip. Deal with it.

But I've only lived here just over a year. I know a handful of people at best and they've already done tons.

We can't afford a cleaner. I'm currently on zero wage and haven't done the benefits forms yet. At the moment, we can't afford Christmas.

DM is wonderful, she really is. But she has OCD and is a hoarder. Officially. Everything is done painstakingly and then checked with me twice to make sure it's ok. I love her to the ends of the earth but housekeeping just doesn't get done. I try passing the DCs to hr while I get on with it, but DD doesn't like it of I'm in the house but not near her, and DS has suddenly decided he can be an extra limb of mine. Lovely but not conducive to housework.

By the way, Joseph's temp was fine. Thank you.

Trazzle I'm glad Joseph's temperature was fine so hopefully you will sleep tonight

I have a DS Joseph's age, and size , and if your boy was tinyTea's friend I would clean your toilets gladly even if I had helped already and I'd only know you for a year.

Oh Nest of Vipers, are there things that are being done from afar, other than keeping these candles burning, that help The Trazzles and Joseph? Happy to be PMed with instructions.

Known, known, blelly known!

I've lurked and lurked and have just been shit when it comes to posting - this panic at my inability to say anything of any use. But you've painted us such a vivid picture of your boy - I love that he wants to be a Knight. I think Sir Joseph has a magnificent ring to it :).

You don't need to wake up positive and cheerful tomorrow. Just as you wouldn't have to if Joseph wasn't ill, if none of this had happened. We all have our glum days, regardless - you don't need the extra pressure of feeling you have to be upbeat. All you can do is get through the days, and if that means a day in a hovel then of course that's fine. Keep the loo clean and the kitchen worktops clean and that's the full extent of all that's necessary.

Is there some sort of cleaning help that you can apply for via the hospital? I don't live in the UK now but when my aunt was very ill with cancer a cleaner was provided for a few hours per week until she was up and running. If not, could someone look into various charities on your behalf? Perhaps Ronald McDonald House or a children's cancer charity would know where to start. The cleaning issue must be a problem for a lot of people in your situation and there is bound to be something out there. It is such a small thing and could make a huge difference to your day to day life. Good news about Joseph's temperature. Yeah!

Utterly agree with Hassled and norks. If I were closer than s London I would come, as other people' s housework is far better than one's own. DH can presumably iron his own shirts. Nothing else needs ironing.

Get your very bossiest friend to organise the casserole rota for the freezer. A hungry man is an angry man.

Do any of your former colleagues keep in touch? They might be happy to come over and help.

In the meantime, hugs.

Joseph is such a gorgeous name, and he sounds just fab.

I'm so sorry that things are tight and tricky from a practical point of view.

I actually can't bear the thought of you having to worry about christmas on top of everything, and I live miles away from you so can't offer help in person. Would you make a wishlist so MNers who want to and who are able could see if they have anything you need to pass on to you? Just a thought.

I am very, very happy to contribute to a cleaning/Christmas fund...

As we are currently overseas, I am not in the best position to organize anything but I would happily offer support.

So sorry you have been feeling down, Trazzle. It's amazing that you have been coping so well and I'm not surprised you suddenly felt overwhelmed, particularly when back at home surrounded by mundane tasks that need doing.

If you can't face asking friends for help (although I agree with others that you should ask if you can - people will be happy to help), I think you might be able to ask your GP about support with cleaning whilst your DS is being treated. You could also try the Carers' Trust to see if there is a service near you, but I'm not sure if they are free. I'm sorry - the last thing you need is to worry about housework on top of everything else.

Also, I stumbled across the Little Star Awards online and wondered if you wanted to nominate Joseph. All nominees receive gifts, including a teddy bear. It might be nice for him.

Your description of Joseph is so vivid. He sounds absolutely gorgeous.

Trazzle I emailed you. Let me help in this way.

A wish list is a great idea. Also, what supermarket do you shop at?

You can't do it all without running yourself ragged. Please let us help ease the burden on you. I want to wave my magic fairy wand and sort some practical stuff

Glad Joseph's temp was ok. Hope you're getting some sleep. X

Having fallen asleep with my DD earlier and come downstairs to switch everything off , I then felt drawn to MN, as you do [hgrin]. 1.5 hrs later I have read thro the whole of this thread (bit tired now!). I remember sending splodge of light on your earlier thread and now I can re-send it! 'Essex girl' now, tho born in Kent.

Thinking of you all, wish there was more I could say but my brain is mushy at the best of times, this time of the night, it's completely mushed!!

Thinking of you Trazzle, sending a prayer and well-wishes into the universe for Joseph.

Hope today is a less stressed day (assuming that's possible!).

Hi trazzle, I loved your description of Joseph. He sounds like a proper cheeky monkey, just gorgeous!
I hope today is less stressy for you. My splodge in Glasgow is still shining bright. X

Look, people really want to help. For themselves, not just for you. Because cancer makes us all feel a bit scared and powerless, even those of us at the end of an Internet site who get just the teensiest tiniest echo if what you are going through. And action helps us feel a bit less so. Your rl friends would love to give practical support I'm sure, however the hell long they have known you. Nursery mums network? Local NCT even if you are not a member?

I would love to send your kids an Xmas stocking each... My kids are just the same age...

I agree with unexpected and would gladly contribute to a wishlist. You need your reserves to concentrate on your loved ones.

Trazzle, I hope you all had a good night and it is very good news that Joseph's temperature has come down.

Try not to worry too much about the cleaning, easy to say I know!

It is very understandable that both your DS and DD want to be really close to you all the time, seeking reassuring. It must be lovely but also exhausting for you.

I would also be very happy to contribute to a fund - Buffy I have pm'd you.

I hope you all have a good and uneventful day today.

If Trazzle gives the go ahead I will set something up so those who want to can contribute. Thanks to those who have PMd me.

Trazzle - I don't want to put pressure on you but please let us help. It's a small thing for us to do and anything that can ease the pressure a little bit will give you more time to focus on Joseph.

When you're in a better place you'll be able to help someone else in need. This might sound trite but I'll say it anyway. Mumsnet is a community and communities help.

X

I also would love to contribute towards the cost of Christmas to help make it special for you and your family. Not just for presents but all the food etc. could a justgiving site be set up or is that for charities only? X

Completely agree. I wondered whether people would want to chip in for.you to have the odd cleaning session. The last thing you 2 should be doing is hpuseork but otoh when you get to bring j home you want it to be nice so ou can relax.

i would :)

I would love to contribute towards whatever you felt would help