DD getting anxious feelings

[orangeflutie]

Last week my dd came home from school and was very upset. A close friend had told her she might be leaving their school. My DD cried a lot that evening. We've all tried to comfort and reassure her but she says she just feels sad a lot:(

This week she has been saying she keeps feeling worried. It happens at random times of day. She has had a lot on at school recently with netball training and matches and other after school activities. I certainly think that this isn't helping as she may not be getting enough rest. This morning she said she didn't want to go to school. I have kept her off today as she was very upset this morning, however obviously she can't keep having time off.

Wondered when the right time is to see someone as I'm worried about her becoming more ill if this doesn't stop. She seems to be extremely sensitive at the moment.

Sorry to hear your dd is going through a tough time.

It's horrible when they are upset and you want to help but don't know how.

I'm no expert in these things but didn't want your post to go unanswered.

Hope you both had an opportunity to talk today and find out more.

Bumping for you

Thank you. Forgot to mention her age she's 9.

my dd is the same, also 9 but she is a born worrier

I think it helps if you can get them to talk through their feelings

also lots of hormonal changes at this age

DD has just said she has the anxious feeling again this morning. The friend that might be leaving is coming round for tea later. I've said to her to try and really enjoy the present and not to think about the future. I'm not sure what else I can do. Any ideas?

I'm no expert but I think you need to trust your instincts on this one.

How was your dd previously? (Before last fortnight I mean and when she heard the news about her close friend.) Has she exhibited signs of anxiety before that point? Or do you think the worry is caused by this specific issue only?

If it's the former, then it may be a good idea to seek further help (school, gp?) If latter, it sounds as if you just have to ride out the storm with her and help her through it (which is what you are doing already).

Another thought that occurs; is she generally happy at school or is she very dependent on this friendship for some reason ie bullying or lack of other friends?

Hope your dd enjoys this afternoon anyway.

I also have a very sensitive DD who went through a similar thing last year. It's not going to solve her current upset, but could you get them to talk about being pen /email pals when the friend comes for tea? And maybe plan getting together in the Xmas hols?

Also, kids often talk about their worries better when they're doing something else. So maybe go out / cook together and ask her if she'd like help with worrying less. Meditation can be very effective for some kids.

HTH

Thanks for all your comments.

DD had a good time with her friend this afternoon and seems happier tonight. However I think she is more anxious than she used to be so will make an effort to spend more time talking with her and keep an eye on it.

monkeytennismum DD's friend may be going to India for a while as her family are from there. I'm hoping it doesn't happen but have said that DD and friend will be able to contact each other by pen/email. Not sure how soon it would happen but have said to DD to try and make the most of the time her friend is here.

I hadn't thought about meditation for DCs but will find out more about it.