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Original poster

Am now crapping myself with worry (very long)

54 replies

Reallybloodystressed · 25/02/2011 21:44

DS has recurrent dislocated elbow. We've probably had to take him to A and E eight times in his life (he's 2.3) in his life to have it popped back in. The last 3 times he's done it, its been in circumstances that probably sounded a bit implausible.

One time, he pulled it out himself by tugging at his arm trying to pull his coat off.

The last time it happened, he was being cared for by my sister as me and my DH were away for the night and his 3 year old sister did it by pulling him off a toy because she wanted a turn.

Anyway...I got a call today one of the local health visitors today. She wants to see me next week to see if there is 'anything she can do to help' although she admitted to me on the phone that this wouldn't be any kind of medical help.

I asked her what had trigged the referral, and she said that the hospital emails them whenever a child comes into A&E with an accident, and that it is all routine, etc.

I don't believe her. He's obviously been referred to them because they suspect child abuse.

My worries are this:

A) my ds is now on some kind of social services list and is in the system and it's going to be difficult to convince them that we are not pulling his elbow out on purpose.
B) the health visitor lied to me about the circumstances of the referral (i really don't believe they have the resources to visit every family who turn up to A&E) and she is not going to be honest with me about other things.

I'm usually a very level headed person, but I'm really anxious about where this is all going.

Does anyone have any words of wisdom to offer at all?

My worries are this:

A) my son is on some kind of social services 'list'

OP posts:
Original poster
Reallybloodystressed · 25/02/2011 21:46

Sorry- the post should obviously have ended at 'words of wisdom to offer at all?'//

Bloody iPad is always doing that.

OP posts:
suzikettles · 25/02/2011 21:53

If it's any help, we got the same phone call when ds hurt his head at nursery.

It was an absolutely routine trigger referral by the hospital to the hv, had conversation on the phone and nothing more.

Poor ds and poor you, it must be really stressful to have this happen.

HumphreyCobbler · 25/02/2011 21:57

they do refer automatically after any visit to A&E

I got a phone call from my HV after DD needed stitches on her head, just to see if we were ok.

What your HV said to you sounds really reasonable and normal.

Please try not to worry about the meeting, I am SURE it will be fine. Your son is not on any kind of list - although poor him to have a weak elbow like that.

bubbles4 · 25/02/2011 21:59

Our local A&E ward has a sign in the treatment room stating that HV,s are informed when a child has attended as an emergency as a matter of routine.So you may be worrying unecessarily. At least she has been upfront with you.

Has anybody ever mentioned anything that could be done to prevent the dislocation occuring?

Overtiredmum · 25/02/2011 22:02

As Humphrey said, my friend's son (3) broke his arm after a playground accident and a HV called out to assess the circumstances. All was fine.

Sending you hugs though OTMx

BehindLockNumberNine · 25/02/2011 22:03

I had the same phone call when ds was tiny and I accidentally cut the top of his finger when trying to cut his nails and it would not stop bleeding and like an eejit I drove to A&E (daft anxious new mum emoticon)

This is routine, honestly, just routine. Your ds is not on some sort of social services list.

blinks · 25/02/2011 22:12

you'll be fine, esp as it's the same recurring injury.

they have to follow it up, so try not to worry.

Original poster
Reallybloodystressed · 25/02/2011 22:13

Thanks for all the responses. I've really fallen to pieces over this one, although your replies are slowly, but surely, helping me to look at this in a different light.

Re: advice about his pulled elbow, the paediatricians always say that it's very common and that he'll grow out of it. They also obviously say to make sure that no one is picking him up by his wrists/hands, which we do. Unfortunately, he is a really rough and tumble boy and people do tend to 'rough house' with him, no matter how many times you ask them to be careful and why.

He's also getting to an age (and strength) where he's doing it to himself now too!

No one has ever suggested any kind of medical intervention to prevent it happening. Maybe there isn't one.

OP posts:
COCKadoodledooo · 25/02/2011 22:26

It really really is routine you know.

Ds2 smacked his head on the doorframe on New Year's day. Proper walloped it, big egg sprang straight up, with a massive dent from the top of his forehead to the bridge of his nose. He'd run full pelt into it and caught the very edge. He's also only 14mo, so we took him to A&E.

A week later, he toppled his highchair and smacked to the floor once more. Another egg, another hossie visit.

We did get a call from the HV, as you say simply because they get the info from the hospital and they have to follow it up. No further action required.

She's not telling you porkies, please try not to worry.

farming4 · 25/02/2011 22:45

Like wise with us - hv now has got to stage she drops me a text to say shes heard ds has been back in hos again - 8 yrs and typical boy with usual boy injuries - think we've done 8 visits in 6 mths - local minor injuries unit so they now know us by first name Blush Same Hv since ds born so she knows family and set up but like she says she has to follow up hospital reports as part of her job but it doesn't mean they suspect abuse or the child is in danger. hth x

littleducks · 25/02/2011 22:53

It is routine. I had a phone call about 6 months after dd was taken to hosp for a finger trapped in a car door and i couldnt even remember she had been Blush. HV was fine with it

If you havent already maybe book a GP appointment to ask about ways to prevent it happening again, there may be things you could do and if there isnt it will be on record that you asked

Must be painful for him, hope he does grow out of it soon

YesPleaseDrChristian · 25/02/2011 22:54

'I asked her what had trigged the referral, and she said that the hospital emails them whenever a child comes into A&E with an accident, and that it is all routine, etc.'

This is true. I had a call from our HV after we had been in hospital recently with DD and unexplained swollen joints. It was about two or three weeks after though.

Don't be nervous you have nothing to hide.

PUMBA · 25/02/2011 22:59

Please stop worrying as a pead a and e nurse I can assure you that all children under 5 are referred to hv and over 5 school nurses !!! If there were any child protection concerns you would not have left the department !!

Sirzy · 26/02/2011 06:38

Think of it as a positive of your hv doing her job and making sure everything is fine.

I wish my hv would make contact, 6 hopsital admissions in 12 months and not even a phone call from her!

Original poster
Reallybloodystressed · 26/02/2011 07:33

Thank you all for replying. I'm feeling much better about the whole visit now.

OP posts:
TallulahDoesTheHula · 26/02/2011 08:28

I had a visit after ds went to a and e twice for different things when he was about 2. The hv was lovely and said it was as much to check I was ok and not too worried over ds etc as well as to check ds ok.
I'd use her to get some advice if you can.
Explain that the injury is recurring and no one is offering advice on how to prevent etc so is there anyone she cab refer you to so you can discuss it a bit more?

TheAtterySquash · 26/02/2011 08:36

This used to happen to dd all the time - from the age of about 9 months we took her to A&E with a dislocated elbow about once every three months. It was always reported to the HV. I asked the doctor about it once and he said they recognise that some children are just prone to this, they will grow out of it (she did) and that there's no way you could really do it deliberately. His point was they expect that if they see a child once for this problem, they'll see them many times.

Please stop worrying - it's horrible for them and for you but no one will think you're at fault.

TheAtterySquash · 26/02/2011 08:37

Oh, and just to add - dd once did it while washing her hands...so I totally sympathise with the implausible circumstances

Thandeka · 26/02/2011 08:48

I had the referral after DD disclocated her elbow once. Know what you mean about being scared but don't worry the HV was very nice. They have to do it in wake of baby P but twill all be fine is so common in kids.

cory · 26/02/2011 15:04

One thing they may want to look at is hypermobility, as that might need a bit of extra support (physio, usually). I speak as the mother of a child who has repeatedly given herself concussion by walking down the hall and falling over.

Original poster
Reallybloodystressed · 03/03/2011 14:15

So I spoke to HV today. She couldn't make the appointment so spoke to me over the phone. I know feel even worse.

She said that she had spoken to other HV and that they said recurrent dislocated elbow was rare in children of DS's age. She asked me why I hadn't taken DS to the GP about it.I told her that I had thought of it, but because the paediatricians at A&E had always said it was very common and that he'd grow out of it, I thought it would be a waste of everyone's time.

Se told me that I should take him to the GP and then let her know what the GP said otherwise if would look very funny on his file that he had been to the hospital so many times, but hadn't done anything to investigate why it kept happening. She said 'they' might think it's a bit funny.

Well, I could really feel myself getting quite cross with her and said that I didn't see how I could be blamed for following the advice of specialist child doctors and that surely if I was hurting him myself, I would be giving false names and addresses at A&E instead of taking him straight there every time it happens.

She has this really irritating voice and kept saying:'No, no, I'm not saying that, all I'm saying is that you need to take him to your GP. I don't have any medical knowledge, but you need to take him to your GP and then tell me what he says.'

Well, she can fuck off. I am going to take him to my GP and am going to tell him that I'm there because the HV has told me that DS's file looks suspicious at the moment.

She can call me, or call my GP if she wants to know what the GP said. I really don't have the time to keep her posted.

I'm probably overreacting, but am so very Angry. how can she say in one breath that she doesn't have any medical knowledge and then in another tell me that DS's elbow troubles aren't rare and I need to take him to the GP???

OP posts:
grumpywitch · 03/03/2011 14:17

Down here it is three visits to a&e in a yr and you get an hv referral.... dd2 is very accident prone!

blinks · 03/03/2011 14:20

just ignore the silly bint.

get him to the GP but try to rest assured that everything from the hospital stacks up- it's the same injury which IS pretty common, despite what HV says, and there's no other cause for concern...

mistressploppy · 03/03/2011 14:22

I'm feeling your [anger], Really - just wanted to say bollocks to your HV and you are doing the right thing. "...then tell me what he says" - grrr.

mistressploppy · 03/03/2011 14:22

Angry, I mean

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