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Original poster

come calm me down please...

75 replies

TheUnmentioned · 19/12/2010 19:33

Dd is 12 weeks. ds is almost 4 (birthday this week).

Dh has a cold like illness and a v v high temperature - he has spent all da with them as we thought it was just a cold tbh until his fever spiked tonight.

Dd has had no vaccinations as has had several viruses and theyve been cancelled each time (by doc).

Ds was really ill with a virus just a few weeks ago. He also has suspected asthma. Dh also sleeps in his bedroom.

I am utterly terrified that thsi is swine flu and that they will catch it or that it is some other bug.

I have anxiety since having dd anyways and this week has been awful as she had a chest infection (but no temp) then a reaction to the antibiotics and today was supposed ot be the first day with no health things to worry about.

Help! I am so worried about dh and also about the kids. More so the kids as am hoping dh can fight it off whatever it is. Its ds's birthday this week and obv xmas and I just wanted it to be nice as this year has been v v hard for us all. Mainly though I am obviously concerned for their health and life even.

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Original poster
TheUnmentioned · 20/12/2010 00:04

Argh typed long reply and it disappeared.

He feels shite tbh, temp went from 38.1 to 38.6 despite nurofen. He has now gone back to sleep after having a drink.

Yes anxiety sucks and definitely an issue. Did pnd questionnaire and scored fairly high. Mum reckons I just need to grow up-maybe she is right. Other people don't panic like me it would seem. I just can't imagine how to stay chilled in this situation. Sick of feeling on edge tbh.

So wanted xmas hols to be nice and ds to feel relaxed and excited and enjoy bday etc. Just disappointed really about that and worried sick re what may happen if kids catch this.

Thanks for replies. I am calmer though I maybe don't sound it!! This phone keeps deleting my messages so I am getting stressed!!

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Original poster
TheUnmentioned · 20/12/2010 00:08

Right i my phone is obviously stupid! Excuse duplicate posts!

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Original poster
TheUnmentioned · 20/12/2010 00:08

Right i my phone is obviously stupid! Excuse duplicate posts!

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MiniMousse · 20/12/2010 00:16

The feeling on edge thing sounds v like my own experience of PND. If that's the case there's no way you can just 'grow up' and overcome it. You can access good help from your GP - I had to wait a long time (7 months) but I received fab counselling on the NHS, and as mentioned in my prev post, antidepressants really have been a life saver and although I still worry about stuff, it is not all-consuming, stomach-churning madness like it was before.

Original poster
TheUnmentioned · 20/12/2010 08:18

arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!!!!

dh has v high fever, ds had bad dreams all night so i was up with him. had pretty much zero sleep and ds has runny nose and slight cough.

dd is velcro baby so am going to need dh to help out a wee bit just cleaning bottles / door handles etc. i hope that will be ok.

ds meant to be at nursery xmas party, not sure whether to send him, dont want kids getting ill before xmas.

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dietcokesholidaysarecoming · 20/12/2010 08:34

Just a quick post.

I can't remember much about when swine flu started I was out fir the count and memory hazy at best if time.

Your mother telling you to grow up isn't helpful and actually can make the situation worse. Your fears are possibly part if pnd and hopefully you will seek help.

Banish DP to bed. Don't go too OCD about the cleaning- just do what you can. Agree with not sending DC to nursery but can you get out for a walk? Might help clear head?

winnybella · 20/12/2010 08:35

Arrgh indeeed. Poor you and your dh.

Don't know about the Christmas party. Is it today, you mean? Hmmm. Tough one.

Have you any family nearby to help out a bit? Definitely keep dh and ds away from the baby, but there's only that much you can do, tbh.

Sorry, not very constructive answer, but I just woke up and only had few sips of coffee and my brain isn't functioning properly yet. DD is still asleep! It's 9:30 here! But she's ill, I guess sleep's good for her.

Right, well, if ds only has a bit of runny nose and slight cough, I would send him, I think, as he doesn't necessarily have what your dh's got and also it will give you some rest.

Original poster
TheUnmentioned · 20/12/2010 08:38

nope no family nearby :(

ds is playing away fine and has eaten breakfast etc.

will see about party, snow and fog bad too.

dd asleep on me.

dh will have to wash out bottles, i just wont get a chance.

sooooooooooooooooooo tired!

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Original poster
TheUnmentioned · 20/12/2010 08:40

oh and yes dh in bed, unfortunately in ds's room but no other option. :( not in ds's bed. dont want him in our bed as dd goes in there sometimes with me,

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dietcokesholidaysarecoming · 20/12/2010 08:48

If DH is ill I would recommend he does bottles. Keep him
Out of the kitchen!

supernoodlesrock · 20/12/2010 09:04

TheUnmentioned - this all sounds like a typical family illness. We've just had a d&v bug going around ours which lasted a fortnight. I know that you might not want to hear that as it puts you anxiety level into perspective.

You really are worrying too much and over-thinking this. However, I was where you are this time last year, I had no ability to put illness, everyday activities like swimming or parks into perspective. I worried every night about dd1 to the point of making myself ill.

Since then I've had counselling, referred by mw at booking in appointment for dd2. It was an amazing breakthrough for me, I was suffering with post traumatic stress rather than pnd. The good news is (and bare with me) I've gone on to have a very poorly dd2 who has required surgeries and 999 hospital admissions and coped with it fine. Obviously it's been extremely stressful but I learned coping mechanisms and strategies that get me through.

Please please speak to the hv this morning. Parenting is a source of constant worry but it shouldn't be like that. GL

supernoodlesrock · 20/12/2010 09:05

I was going to add, could you have post traumatic stress syndrome, has anything happened that may have caused this as it sounds like quite a stressful year for you. :(

winnybella · 20/12/2010 09:06

dietcoke- you mean that he doesn't do the bottles! If he's ill, he shouldn't really handle baby bottles and food.

dietcokesholidaysarecoming · 20/12/2010 09:13

LOL. Yes that's what I meant!

Original poster
TheUnmentioned · 20/12/2010 12:09

Thanks, he'd only be washing the bottles and then they'd be sterlised. so ok I think? Hope so as thats what Ive been doing so far!! :(

Spoke to HV, being referred for counselling.

Ds now got high temp :(

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winnybella · 20/12/2010 13:48

Arrgh. Sorry. At least hopefully they'll both feel better by Saturday?

DP is in London in the huge queue outside St.Pancras, I'm not sure he'll even come back in time for Xmas.

Original poster
TheUnmentioned · 20/12/2010 14:33

Oh no :( I hope he makes it.

Ds's temp going up and up despite calpol so taking him to docs, poor wee thing, hate seeing him suffering. Seeing how much him and dh are suffering is making me really, really panic for dd.

I am wondering when she'd start showing signs if she was going to catch it. Dh started on Saturday night with a cold and teh temp started last night. ds was a bit snotty in teh night but fine first thing today and now has high temp.

Dd is grumpy and not taking as much milk as pos but I took her temp to be on the safe side and its 36.8 underarm so ok I think.

My head is pounding, I am feeling like a total failure for being this way. I just want to be with ds when he is ill, but i have to look after dd. I hate this, I feel so torn and so guiilty. Ds needs me. :(

Dh is taking him to the docs as I am not taking both kids out in the snow and ice and I dont want to leave dd with dh and ds already seems to have caught it.

Feel like shit mum and am sure you must all think Im a fool.

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winnybella · 20/12/2010 14:46

Oh come on, why would anyone think that?

You're not a shit mum, just tired and stressed.

You know, DD had symptoms of a cold for a day or two, and then next day she got the fever...sounds similar to your ds...she woke up today fine if still snotty.

Don't feel guilty about ds, you have a baby to take care of, dh can take him to the doctor- still, it's not a flu if dh can do that? I bet ya they'll be ok for Saturday. Chin up Smile

Original poster
TheUnmentioned · 20/12/2010 14:56

Its his birthday on Thursday. He has had such a rubbish year I just wanted it all to be magical.

My mum thinks I am a shit mum for panicking, says I am thinking only of myself which is pretty much the one thing I never do.

Anyways, sorry I dont want to turn this into a moan.

I just feel so sorry for ds and want to snuggle and cuddle him and run aorund after him and I am worried sick for dd.

thanks winny

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winnybella · 20/12/2010 15:01

he'll be fine- if he'll be feeling to il to enjoy his bday on Thursday, you can postpone it a bit.

Hopefully the doctor will be able to tell your dh what he and ds have got and it will put your mind at reat. Heavy cold is usully not dangerous- even if dd gets it, you'll just have to give her calpol and lots of cuddles and she'll be fine in few days-relax.

And don't listen to your mum.

winnybella · 20/12/2010 15:02

sorry for typos- bf dd in a dark room

supernoodlesrock · 20/12/2010 15:13

TheUnmentioned - glad you talked to your hv, this level of anxiety is definitely not normal. Have you thought about what I said re PTSD?

Agree with others btw, if dh can get out of the house he hasn't got swine flu. Hope you are all well for ds's birthday and christmas. :)

Original poster
TheUnmentioned · 20/12/2010 15:13

Thanks Winny, I do really appreciate your help.

Giving dd calpol is a job in itself as she is always sick!!

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Original poster
TheUnmentioned · 20/12/2010 15:15

The birth was not great supernoodlesrock but not in the way other people have terrible births so I think Im just being pathetic again.

It was a VERY painful back ot back induced labour with just gas and air, I lost a lot of blood and dd was jaundiced.

That's all. no major trauma.

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winnybella · 20/12/2010 15:17

Sounds traumatic to me.

Is she old enough for paracetaol suppositories? Easy and works much quicker than the syrup.