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come calm me down please...

75 replies

TheUnmentioned · 19/12/2010 19:33

Dd is 12 weeks. ds is almost 4 (birthday this week).

Dh has a cold like illness and a v v high temperature - he has spent all da with them as we thought it was just a cold tbh until his fever spiked tonight.

Dd has had no vaccinations as has had several viruses and theyve been cancelled each time (by doc).

Ds was really ill with a virus just a few weeks ago. He also has suspected asthma. Dh also sleeps in his bedroom.

I am utterly terrified that thsi is swine flu and that they will catch it or that it is some other bug.

I have anxiety since having dd anyways and this week has been awful as she had a chest infection (but no temp) then a reaction to the antibiotics and today was supposed ot be the first day with no health things to worry about.

Help! I am so worried about dh and also about the kids. More so the kids as am hoping dh can fight it off whatever it is. Its ds's birthday this week and obv xmas and I just wanted it to be nice as this year has been v v hard for us all. Mainly though I am obviously concerned for their health and life even.

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TheUnmentioned · 19/12/2010 19:40

ps dd is not breastfed not for want of trying.

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Sirzy · 19/12/2010 19:44

It sounds like they have the flu virus that has been sweeping the nation. We have all had it here and its horrible.

If your worried about your husband phone NHS direct or your OOH GP, at least then you will have more idea what it is your dealing with.

Hopefully all the bugs clear up and you can enjoy your sons birthday and Christmas then have a healthy happy 2011

TheUnmentioned · 19/12/2010 20:00

dh is at supermarket poor soul as we needed supplies and i am useless at driving in snow.

what i am most terrified of is ds or dd being so little and catching this. i am scared it will make them v v ill / be fatal.

everywhere i look its about swine flu deaths.

this anxiety is horrible, horrible.

when do you think theyd show signs if they were going to catch it.

i dont know how to keep dh away from the kids, as you can imagine dd takes up alot of nmy time and dh has been 'helping; with both kids / doing housework / making bottles etc,

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TheUnmentioned · 19/12/2010 20:24

bump

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dietcokesholidaysarecoming · 19/12/2010 20:29

Tbh- if DP can manage to help out and drive to shop it's prob not swine flu. I had it last year and was knocked out- unable to care for myself let alone DS. He had to stay at his daddies.

Sirzy · 19/12/2010 20:34

I was about to say the same as PP. When I had swine flu I couldn't even get off the sofa at one point.

TheUnmentioned · 19/12/2010 20:45

yes I was thinking that myself. Ive never had flu (touch wood!) though so not sure. I have had fevers obviously and terrible colds but I have only ever been absolutely bedridden with glandular fever and chest infections.

something is causing a high fever in him though and its likely the kids will catch it so am still v v worried. Esp as dd is so so little, unvaccinated and as we found out last night immediately vomits up medicine!

Also, how quick did the swine flu take hold? Maybe dh has all the bedridden stuff to come?

im sorry if I sound like a loon, the last few weeks have been hard and my anxiety has been bad anyways.

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RoseMortmain · 19/12/2010 20:50

Dd has just had a bug that sounds v. similar to what your DH has. I was concerned about swine flu when she first started with it but she just hasn't been ill enough for it to be any kind of flu.

As dietcoke says, if it is flu (swine or ordinary) your DH would be completely bed bound. If he's able to go to the shops -even if he feels dreadful - then it's much more likely he's just got a virus.

The thing to remember about all the swine flu deaths is that it's completely distorted by the media.

Yes, some people have died but many, many, many more have had it and survived it. Swine flu is no worse than normal flu, lots and lots of people get ordinary flu every year, a tiny minority die from it but it isn't spread all over the news in the hysterical way that anything to do with swine flu is.

Good handwashing - making sure you all wash every part of your hands including round the base of your thumbs down to your wrist, in between each finger, under the fingernails and up the sides of each hand - you should aim to wash for as long as it takes to sing 'Happy Birthday' twice through, using hot water and soap and disposing of used tissues straight away will minimise the risk of cross infection.

TheUnmentioned · 19/12/2010 21:17

Thanks Rose ds actually had a bug a few weeks ago which saw him in the kids ward, high fever, aches and pains, couldnt walk, sore throat and ears. They did a throat swab - Im wondering if it was for infection or swine flu now as I forgot to ask, anyways it was fine.

His fever went down pretty suddenly after 2 days and he is still not quite right but definitely not as bad as it was looking when in the hospital when his fever was uncontrollable.

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winnybella · 19/12/2010 21:26

Flu usually comes on very suddenly. If your dh is able to go to the shops I very much doubt he's got it.
You get fever with lots of viruses.
Also iirc only 17 people have died so far in the UK this winter of flu- and most had underlaying health conditions. 17 out of how many thousands that got it?
I wouldn't worry yet- wait and see how your dh is in the morning- if able to get up and do stuff, he doesn't have a flu.

TheUnmentioned · 19/12/2010 21:29

Thanks winny I think you reassured me on another thread once.

I am still freaking but trying not to.

Also, I have teh health visitor coming tomorrow for dd's 6 week check. She has kids herself, should I warn her? I dont wnat them getting ill or to ruin her Xmas but I am her 1st appt so dont know how Id get hold of her.

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TheUnmentioned · 19/12/2010 21:30

not 6 week check - 12 week check!

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winnybella · 19/12/2010 21:37

Don't know about hv- I guess you can call her and explain the situation, but I doubt they stop going out to work because of family member having a cold tbh.

And try to get the anxiety under control-maybe talk to your GP? The first year or two of a child's life is always very stressing and we worry about them all the time anyway-so being extra anxious will make it much harder for you.

winnybella · 19/12/2010 21:37

or stressful, even

winnybella · 19/12/2010 21:38

Oh and I'm sure you know it's common for the fever to spike in the evening-it's not necessarily indicative of the ilness's nastiness!

TheUnmentioned · 19/12/2010 21:42

Hi again,

Yes I am seeing the health visitor about my anxiety and maybe making appt with GP to discuss.

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winnybella · 19/12/2010 22:08

Oh, good Smile
Hope your dh feels better tomorrow.

TheUnmentioned · 19/12/2010 22:15

Thanks.

Its pretty much guaranteed the kids will get it isnt it?

Feeling very scared. Also feeling teary as feel ds has missed out on a lot this year and wanted his birthday and xmas to be special.

:(

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winnybella · 19/12/2010 22:21

I'm not sure it's guaranteed, tbh. In the last year dp had a few colds and we didn't get them. OTOH DD has had fever/cough/runny nose for last 3 or 4 days and I did get it from her, but dp is fine-so I guess it depends on whether the kids came in contact with this virus before (without necessarily getting ill) and the contact they had with your dh- was he kissing them on the mouth, is he coughing a lot and so spreading the virus etc etc.

But as I said before it very well may just be a cold- so even if the kids get it it won't be dangerous, just a bit unconvenient for Christmas. And since so far it seems he's able to get on with stuff, it may not be totally debilitating and the kids often are very perky even with a fever.

winnybella · 19/12/2010 22:22

inconvenient, damn it Grin

winnybella · 19/12/2010 22:23

How is he feeling now? What's his temp?

MiniMousse · 19/12/2010 22:30

Hello theunmentioned
sounds like your family have got the same thing I and my dd have had. I think its just a virus, and seems to be doing the rounds. Try not to worry.
But what I have noticed about your posts is the overriding anxiety and upset - have you spoken to your health visitor or GP about the possibility of post natal depression?
(I ask because anxiety about my dd's health was one of the things that manifested in me when I started with PND. It took me ages to go for help but I eventually took antidepressants and they have been a life saver.)

TheUnmentioned · 19/12/2010 23:57

Hi both

He is feeling really bad, I woke him to take temp n get him to have a drink. Temp 38.1 so not too bad but feeling dreadful so had nurofen and temp has risen to 38.6 :( he is away back to sleep now and is stupidly refusing not to wrap himself up warm because he is feeling cold-argh!!
Yes my anxiety levels have been horrendous of late and I spoke to hv on monday and I did the edinburgh pnd thing and scored relatively highly. It sucks. I am not really sure how a 'normal' non anxious person would feel in this situation tbh.
Just thought we were getting back to normal after ds then dd being ill and now dh, who is never, ever, ever ill gets sick - typical!!

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TheUnmentioned · 19/12/2010 23:57

Hi both

He is feeling really bad, I woke him to take temp n get him to have a drink. Temp 38.1 so not too bad but feeling dreadful so had nurofen and temp has risen to 38.6 :( he is away back to sleep now and is stupidly refusing not to wrap himself up warm because he is feeling cold-argh!!
Yes my anxiety levels have been horrendous of late and I spoke to hv on monday and I did the edinburgh pnd thing and scored relatively highly. It sucks. I am not really sure how a 'normal' non anxious person would feel in this situation tbh.
Just thought we were getting back to normal after ds then dd being ill and now dh, who is never, ever, ever ill gets sick - typical!!

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TheUnmentioned · 20/12/2010 00:04

Argh typed long reply and it disappeared.

He feels shite tbh, temp went from 38.1 to 38.6 despite nurofen. He has now gone back to sleep after having a drink.

Yes anxiety sucks and definitely an issue. Did pnd questionnaire and scored fairly high. Mum reckons I just need to grow up-maybe she is right. Other people don't panic like me it would seem. I just can't imagine how to stay chilled in this situation. Sick of feeling on edge tbh.

So wanted xmas hols to be nice and ds to feel relaxed and excited and enjoy bday etc. Just disappointed really about that and worried sick re what may happen if kids catch this.

Thanks for replies. I am calmer though I maybe don't sound it!! This phone keeps deleting my messages so I am getting stressed!!

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