Some Fretwork and the Interminable Christmas Play at the Chalet School

[EmilyAlice]

Now girls, line up and listen because this term is a busy one. Firstly we are combining our hobbies club and the Christmas play, so we will need our fretworkers to get busy on the scenery, some beautiful découpage for decorations, our nimble-fingered needlewomen on costume duty and some scrapbooks for - er...
Now one other thing girls. As you know the Chalet School has moved from the Tyrol, to Guernsey, to Armishire, to some island or other and thence to Switzerland.
This term we have moved again and the first thing I want you to do is to find out where the bloody hell we are....

Now, I'm a fairly new girl, so my German, French and Mongolian aren't that good yet (though learning 10 words a day is helping lots and I'm beginning to find that I can follow whole lessons on history with hardly any trouble...). However, I THINK we had the play reading at the weekend? This was my understanding of the basic plot (though of course I could be terribly confused and it could just have been a hilarious game of book titles or consequences).

Plot:

Rich Mongolian girl has lots of presents under Christmas tree but sulks because she wants more. Goes to sleep crying. Dreams of a giant reindeer which transports her to Christmases around the world, making her realise the true meaning of Christmas. Finishes with a tableaux with the sheep centre stage singing a solo, surrounded by baby angels.

Have I missed anything?

Genghis Khan. It will be a terrible dénouement though and there will be no rehearsals.

Ah, yes - they said there would be something at the end that would make us feel like crying. That will be Genghis then. Lucky you, not needing to rehearse. Still, it gives you more time for fretwork I suppose?

No, I am rehearsing the folk dancers (when I can find them) and knitting bobble hats.

I am going to be a tree.
I will be the most realistic tree you know.
I've been practicing...

Are there trees on the steppes?

Ooooh! I've been such a model Chalet School girl this term that Ferry has said I can lead the Battle of the Baby Angels.

It's great - we lob bookends at skip merrily around Genghis Kahn until he gets dizzy and falls to the ground. Then we sit on him and ply him with special milk until he begs for mercy. Eventually Miss Annersley arrives in a cameo role where she talks to him wisely and sadly until he sobs with remorse and promises to be a much nicer warlord from now on. Finally everyone joins in with the beautiful old Adeste Fidelis around the tree and marvels at how true it all is.

Well that is your plan - but you are not taking account of the real nature of my folk dancers who have snow on their boots.....

Aaah mornington your German / French / Mongolian is clearly much better than mine. I'd missed several of those details. It's all sounding very Christmassy now, especially with Emily's folk dancers as well. I'm looking forward to being a baby angel (as I was promised I could be one on account of my blondish golden hair).

I would like to play the glockenspiel in the orchestra please....(I do have one..)

"Giant" reindeer, you say? Hang on, have I been cast in this role because of my robust build?

Well that is your plan - but you are not taking account of the real nature of my folk dancers

Calling all folk dancers, calling all folk dancers. The baby angels invite you to a night of fun and frolics in mushy pea on the eve of the interminable Christmas play. Come and eat raw smoked bacon to your hearts' content, and wash it all down with several jorums of special milk. Seeing as how we're angels we'll refrain from indulgence, but you can go right ahead. What could possibly go wrong?

Wonderful idea. Lots of special milk and then the next day I can always call on my reserve troops troupe.

So Jo and entourage have arrived with no misadventures I hope.
Went to the Great Wall of China, which borders China and Inner Mongolia, once just before Christmas. Our bus skidded in the snow into a ditch.
Still it was 'great fun' getting out and walking, in our inadequate clothes and no nailed boots, only to find it closed because of the weather. True CS spirit although couldn't explain that to the Chinese as I don't have Jo's gift for languages.
Perhaps we need some sleighs.
Is there a dentist on hand as despite Jo's dental phobia she is sure to need a tooth out soon. That is if she has any left as by my reckoning she would have been decidedly gappy by the time she left school.
Still now she's 90 I suppose it doesn't matter.
How is the polocrosse going ?

Do let's get it right. This year Joey will be 98 and I will be 67 on the same day - and you have less than a month to get planning....

Do I get an order mark for my mistake ?
Still 98 and trekking across the Steppes. Good thing we have plenty of doctors.

Schrödinger's Chalet School girl - both incredibly frail, yet capable of yomping all over bloody mountains steppes. You don't know which she'll be until the end of term and there's been time for an epidemic and/or expedition

Not to mention having multiple multiple births, adopting extra children, being an Authoress and ensuring she still has a finger in every CS pie! But cannot cope with falling into boxes.

Well she normally spends the winter tucked up in my chateau, but every so often she uses her plaits as a rope ladder and gets away. The rosy-cheeked locals put down their glasses of Calvados to go and look for her, but sometimes it is a steppe too far...
Meant to say I downloaded quite a good biography of DLS for 99p. Interesting on Lord Peter and also on her rather troubled love life but I skipped the boring God bits.

PMSL at falling into boxes. She got dosed by Jack for that, didn't she?

She got dosed for everything!

Can I be a folk dancer? I've got no sense of rhythm but I'm sure one of the world class French ballet girls can teach me.

You certainly can. We will need striped skirts with stiff petticoats, white blouses, embroidered waistcoats, flowery headresses and long, supple, leather boots.
I haven't quite finished the choreography, but we will start with a simple skipping circle, then pirouettes on the spot, triple entrechat and two lines of cartwheels.
If you can just practise that for now.....

That sounds so pretty.

I've been practising the dancing and cartwheeling too. Matron DH has just come in to make the pleasing discovery that I've broken two vases and a lightbulb.

Is the mixed Kindergarten still in operation out here on the steppes? Only 6 year old DS1 had his first gymnastics class yesterday and the fools taught him to cartwheel and would be delighted to demonstrate his new cartwheeling ability it mostly involves flinging himself somewhat sideways across the living room.