Leaving money to nieces and nephews - MNers without children forum

[KimberleyClark]

There’s a thread in progress on this topic. Was just wondering how many of you have siblings that are expecting their children to inherit from you? My sibling has told me not to leave anything to DN but I suspect he may be unusual in this.

@TempleOfBloom nope didn't miss that. It's irrelevant.

Once again apparently only parents are allowed sympathy when they have cancer

At the risk of totally derailing this thread, I got several comments from relatives, friends and colleagues (I'm an oncologist - oh the irony) about how me having cancer would have been so much worse had I had kids.

I see it now with colleagues - away from patients thank god - having more sympathy for parents with cancer than non parents.

Sometimes it seems that even when we are facing a life threatening illness we just don't count.

Thats really crap but I can well believe it

I overheard a woman on Saturday tell someone (a friend I presume) that she had MS and her "friend" consoled her with "well at least you don't have kids"....

Because we all know you aren't a full human being if you dont procreate

My late husband's aunt is 94 and has always been single. She made a new will a few years ago, and I know that the bulk of her estate (should it not go to her care) is being left to her nieces and nephews.

I was very touched when I was told that she is treating me in the same way as my husband sister (her niece of course). I've always been fond of her and have carried on visiting her and helping her as often as my husband would have done was he here. But that was with no thought of inheritance. I'm just really fond of her and I know my husband would have wanted that.

@daliesque sorry thats so shit but also not surprising.

Yes I was going to start a thread about the other thread - made me so angry. So many assumptions about people without children and we should an shouldn't do. I haven't seen people so outraged about someone contributing to charity!

I'm childless, but my late husband had two kids and an adult grandchild. I think they expected to inherit from me, but it won't be happening now.

It's a long story, but I finally cracked two months after my husband's funeral and they've cut all contact with me - apart from when one child and one grandchild phoned the solicitor to say that they hadn't been able to cash their cheques. (My husband's will didn't include the grandchild, but he told me what to give them: I actually gave them a bit more.)

A year later, once I'd seen to other matters, I sent one child an additional cheque as a wedding present from my husband and the grandchild a graduation present from him.

There's been no acknowledgement for any of the cheques or family heirlooms I sent them, so I reckon they no longer expect to inherit from me.

I'm expecting to leave anything left over from my future care bills to my husband's nephews and my cousins' kids. (I have no siblings.)

ETA I also want to leave something to the son of a young friend who's been very good to me. Once it's all split up, there won't be much to go round.

@WearyAuldWumman

I'm childless, but my late husband had two kids and an adult grandchild. I think they expected to inherit from me, but it won't be happening now.

I think this is why people who remarry should make it clear that they want money leaving to their children. Your relationship is nothing to do with their relationship to their father. It's sad you're basing what they get on how you get on with them. So you're passing into your cousin's child. Did your cousin's child even know your husband 🤷🏻‍♀️

@converseandjeans I think you missed the point of @WearyAuldWumman's post!

I think you need to reread the post you’re replying to.

You've totally misread my post. Maybe read over it again?

I've already given my husband's children their inheritance from my husband. They have it.

The grandchild wasn't mentioned in my husband's will, but he told me what to give his grandchild. I gave the grandchild more than that.

I also made to sure to pass on all the family medals, jewellery and other heirlooms.

My cousin's children are only going to get my money - nothing from my husband.

I didn't put this in my earlier post, but my husband's kids already got money from me. I had set aside money (from my own savings) for their weddings. One child didn't get married but had a child, so I used the money to open a bank account for the child when it was born and then signed the admin of it over to the child's mother.

The other child decided only to live with their partner, so I gave them their 'wedding money' anyway. After some years, this child actually decided to marry after all...so I gave the child and spouse a wedding present out of my husband's estate.

I've given the children their inheritance and more. I actually earned more than my husband. I was the main breadwinner and - after he became ill - his carer.

When my husband was in hospital following a stroke, he got one half-hour visit from one of the kids. That was it. He was in hospital for four months.

Thank you for saying that. I appreciate it.

Yes, my husband's children were given their inheritance. The will was written before his grandchild was born, so he told me what to give the grandchild rather than make a new will because he knew that he could trust me.

I've not deprived them of their inheritance from my husband. I'm just saying that they will not inherit from me.

I have no children, and no siblings so no nieces and nephews. I do have a number of cousins some of whom have children but we are not close. No falling out or anything but rarely see each other except for family gatherings. I shan’t be leaving anything to them & frankly I think they would be astonished if I did, so all mine ( whatever is left) will be going to charity

No one should assume but if you don't want them to have anything then make sure you have a will or they may get it as next of kin ( assuming you outlive your siblings)

@WearyAuldWumman

Sorry I didn't see part where they had already had their share of their Dad's estate.

I guess you're doing what OP was hoping & keeping your money in the family rather than giving to charity.

Thanks.

I've given to various charities on a regular basis over the years and I am now cutting back since I can't really afford it.

I did wonder about leaving something to charity*, but I've read that doing so can hold up probate/confirmation so I've decided that my various charities have had their donations from me already.

*My estate will mainly be what my house sells for, unless it goes in care bills. (Before anyone asks, I bought the house before I got married and I paid off the mortgage myself.)

I am close to my siblings and their children; DH less so. If he dies first, anything left when I go , will be split between all the nieces and nephews (6 of them), evenly. What that means is my ‘side’ will benefit 60% to his 40%. Assuming he doesn’t change his will, if I go first, same will apply.
I hope to be around long enough to give jewellery etc to my favourites 😉

One of my siblings is childless. I have absolutely no idea who he and his DW plan to leave their estate to. Between them, they have 5 niblings whom they've had very little contact with (although not due to any falling out).

I have two siblings, five nieces/nephews. I will be leaving any money to two of them, as it stands. I'm not sure if my siblings are expecting as we've never discussed it really.

I also have death in service, I've recently changed this from my parents to one sibling as their will states an equal split between their children. I don't want to risk me dying before them and my other sibling benefitting. I wouldn't recognise their children if they were stood in front of me.

We're leaving everything to our niece and nephews. I have no idea whether it's expected or not, DH and I have always been open about our plans so it never came up. We're very close to them and I can't imagine doing anything else.

I did see that thread and it was... eyeopening the levels of entitlement of some people on here, even by MN standards.

I have no kids, unlikely I ever will. I make my own choices how I spend my money or who I give it to, both in life and in death.

As it happens, my brother has kids who I do get on well with, and they are being left something in my will as it currently stands, as I want to do so, and I have given them some financial help. But if they started having any sense of entitlement, that may soon be revoked. That's the crux of it - it's a privilege, not a right.

But I'm hoping to have a decent life ahead of me and enjoy my life with what I have available, so there may not be much left by the time I go (with any luck!).

I've never spoken with my sibling about planning to leave my nephew something.

My childfree brother barely has 2 pennies to rub together at 37, but even if he did I wouldn't expect him to leave my daughter anything as they aren't close.

I’m childfree and have several nieces and nephews, and varying degrees of closeness with them. Some I only see at family funerals/weddings, others I’m extremely close to. My will reflects that. I’m also leaving significant amounts to two small charities close to my heart.

One of my siblings, known for their avarice, has repeatedly made comments about how I should be giving money now to the next generation (though they really mean their own DC) as it would be a big help to them at this point in their lives. I just gloss over such comments and ignore them. It’s not my responsibility to provide for their adult offspring.

It amazes me that people give any thoughts to inheritance now days. All of my parents money will go on their care and with care home fees averaging £1700 a week, I can't imagine there will be anything left over. Unless you are really quite wealthy I suspect this is the case for the vast majority of people and those relying on inheritance are going to be disappointed