Leaving money to nieces and nephews - MNers without children forum

[KimberleyClark]

There’s a thread in progress on this topic. Was just wondering how many of you have siblings that are expecting their children to inherit from you? My sibling has told me not to leave anything to DN but I suspect he may be unusual in this.

My child free brother has named my DD as his death in service beneficiary. He is single currently so obviously that could change and he then might remove my DD. I don’t expect it and think it is incredibly kind of him to name her.

Your nieces / nephews are your reasons for living?

Like i said.... in those circs i dont think you have a "financial obligation".

But i also dont think wills are about "financial obligations". its more about doing something that benefits or helps someone you care for eg. it's a positive not a negative driver.

Separately, unless there is backstory (which i assume there must be?) I find it so sad / strange you havent even met your niece and nephew...
I think it just goes to show how different families are.

Yep. I have severe depression anxiety and PTSD. I have tried in the past to take my life several times but bond I have with them has given me a reason to fight everyday and to stay alive

Then I’m so glad you’ve got that.

DH has two childless siblings. The unmarried one has told us that he is leaving his estate to be split between our two DC, but there was absolutely no expectation on our part in this. The other sibling is married and they never had kids. They've not spoken to us about their will so I've no idea what their plans are, however they are very much a 'live in the moment' couple who spare no expense on socialising and travel so I doubt they plan on leaving much behind when they go 😆 I have one childless sibling, his estate is to be split between his four nieces and nephews if he outlives our DM (likely). I have a childless friend in her 60s who is leaving her estate to an animal charity which I think is lovely 🥰

My sister has no children and asked my advice about her will. She wanted to split it evenly between all her nieces and nephews - she has 9. I said that no one expected anything, and she should leave it to anyone she wanted to it didn't have to be family.

However she does want to leave her money to family so I suggested she leaves it to the nieces and nephews who will inherit least from their own parents (as two of us are better off than the other other siblings).

I was a bit shocked to find out later that some of my siblings absolutely expect her to leave money to their children. And are in fact telling their children they will inherit!

Thank you

My dc are the beneficiaries of their childless uncles, talking a lot of money - all paperwork sorted but hopefully 40 years + off!. Thankfully they are now both adults and sensible.

Surely it's up to you who you leave your money too?

We have DC but our wills were written that if all four of us died, our estate was to be split 3 ways. A third each to DH's siblings and the other third to be split between my niece & nephew.

DH's siblings are childless but I would never think to ask if they're leaving their estate to my DC, nor do they expect it.

Separately, unless there is backstory (which i assume there must be?) I find it so sad / strange you havent even met your niece and nephew...

I think I said in a post that DB cut off contact - this was just after my niece was born. That NC lasted for 20 years (no idea what it was about but coincidentally DB got back in contact when he finally split with his wife). I have no idea if niece and nephew even know I exist, frankly, and given that after the split my niece didn't speak to her father for a year, their slightly fragile relationship and her other MH issues understandably DB doesn't want to rock the boat by saying 'Oh BTW, did I tell you that you have an aunt you've never met?' and pushing me into their family dynamic (not that I wish to be there anyway).

Doesn't worry me at all, and I am not saddened by the lack of connection to people I've never met.

In the first instance leave it all to your DH/partner. Make sure you factor in leaving enough funds for any potential care fees. If we’d stayed child free, I would have left money to our siblings after that

Lots of assumptions you’re making there.

I'll say! still, nice that someone's come on here and told us what the rules are, eh?

I don't know if my sister is expecting it, but it's fairly likely - I have no kids and my partner is an only child. My will at the moment gives my house to him so he can carry on living there, and then splits the money between him and my nephews (he has plenty of money of his own and at some point will also inherit from his parents so it makes sense to split it rather than giving it all to him).

But having said that, I'm hoping I get chance to spend a fair amount of that money doing fun things in retirement

Ah no, according to the other thread it is in fact the height of selfishness for a childless sibling not to leave all their money to their neices and nephews, and some have even suggested making sure the childless sibling is disinherited by their parents unless they do so

So no, unfortunately when you are childless lots of people think they have a right to an opinion on how you spend your money

I personally will be splitting it between my sisters kids, my husbands cousins kids and my neighbours kids but I know full well my sister assumes its all going to her kids

I’ve got a couple of childfree aunts. They’ve been very generous on occasion and I’m grateful. But I have no idea how they plan to leave their money & wouldn’t dream of asking.

Bloody hell. Where is this thread?

Im not sure I can link, doesn't that turn it into a TAAT?

But if you search my recent posts you would find it that way

How else should I bloody well describe a woman who has never married , has no children and describes herself as ‘a spinster’ ??? What a daft statement!

Did you miss that the OP who really pissed you off has had a cancer diagnosis and is worried she won’t see her children turn 18?

So feels sad that should her sibling die in the near / nearish future they would rather leave their estate to charity than to their nieces / nephews with no Mum to support them through Uni etc?

Her whole point was in the context of a cancer diagnosis.

A. Did you miss this was the MNetters without children section not the section for parents to berate childfree people for doing it wrong

B. Whilst the OPs situation in that thread is very sad, nevertheless if the sibling had a child they wouldnt be expected to financially subsidise their neices and nephews. The greater weight of financial expectation on childless relatives is what's being discussed.

C. Have you utterly missed that you are responding to a poster who is relying in the context of her own families bahaviour in the context of her own cancet diagnosis. Her whole point is in the context of her cancer diagnosis.

Once again apparently only parents are allowed sympathy when they have cancer

no expectations here. My brother has a lovely relationship with my kids. They absolutely adore him. He’s incredibly generous and gets them lovely experience gifts which he does with them. Better than any kind of inheritance!

About 80% of my (not enormous, but not insignificant) estate will go to my OH, assuming he outlives me, with the remaining 20% going to various charities and a scholarship fund I benefited from when I was at university.

If my OH predeceases me, then the same chunk to charity and the remainder split 50/50 between my niece and nephew. We're very close, so that makes sense.

All of this assumes there is anything left after any care I may require, of course: I come from a notoriously long-lived family.