MNers without children

[MrsDanversGlidesAgain]

What's with the board name change out of the blue?

It's none of my business, of course. But I still think there should be a distinction between childfree and childless. If you're childfree and happily chatting about your lovely adult champagne fuelled Christmas morning, you should be able to do it without worrying that you're adding to the upset of those who long to be knee deep in wrapping paper at 5am....

But what about those of us in the middle of that @Mookie81 ? There have been times when not having a child was extremely painful for me but I didn’t do everything absolutely possible to try to have a child. My actions were driven by all sorts of considerations.

It's none of my business, of course

Correct

We don't all get smashed on Christmas mornings... What a stereotype. Most of us wait until we start cooking lunch.

So far the board was working well with both sides of the camp in. I am personally not keen on the "without children" just... I don't know why really it sounds like we are missing something you know, but well, it's there and it's not some life changing event.

I would totally vote for @TorringtonDean name though😁

But I still think there should be a distinction between childfree and childless

No-one cares what you think, CurlewKate. But 10/10 for trotting out the usual stereotypes about people without children and their 'champagne fuelled' lives.

you should be able to do it without worrying that you're adding to the upset of those who long to be knee deep in wrapping paper at 5am....

Now I have to worry that total strangers on the net MIGHT get upset?? any chance they could act like adults, test the board and if they decide it's not for them go somewhere else??

It's none of my business, of course

Got that right, at least.

If you're childfree and happily chatting about your lovely adult champagne fuelled Christmas morning

I don’t even know where to start with this one!

Childfree does not equal wanting to drink champagne on Christmas morning.
Having children does not preclude drinking champagne
Some people who are not childfree will be having adult-only Christmas mornings, with or without champagne. Some of them will be having adult champagne-fuelled Christmas mornings with their own children…

I was one of the childless who campaigned for the board on the original thread (under a different username) and I'm a bit confused by the rewriting of history here and making out that we weren't involved, we were.

Childless and childfree have plenty in common. I'm baffled by the assumption thay we all stay mired in depression forever as well. Many of us have spoken on this actual board about our progress from feeling childless to childfree

And many regulars on this board have fertility issues that have never caused a problem with the childfree people

However it does seem inevitable that whenever a new thread pops up some new usernames pop up to tell us we are doing it wrong...

I'm pretty sure it's the same poster, she just kept going and going and going and going all whilst telling us that she was absolutely not bothered about us at all 🙄

Bingo.

I've never seen there be an issue on the Board, which has a number of threads about being childless and a number about being childfree. Many of us are a mixture of childless and childfree and can relate to each type of thread depending on the day. Similarly, those joyfully childfree folks haven't - as far as I've seen - been wading in on the ones posted about being childless with insensitive boasting.

In other words, we seem to be perfectly good at moderating ourselves.

(And for clarity, I have infertility-related medical trauma so I'd be particularly sensitive if I were seeing that sort of thing.)

It was. She ended up telling us that childless/free people couldn't be defined as "childfree" as they'd never had a child to be "free" of. Bingo-ception, that one.

@MrsDanversGlidesAgain @Now I have to worry that total strangers on the net MIGHT get upset??"

Well, yes. If you can avoid upsetting people surely you should?

That’s good advice.

Did you think about that before coming on here and upsetting people?

Are you sure? It makes it ambiguous to me.

Childfree - DO NOT WANT

MN'ers without children - Don't have any right now but am trying, would like in future, have but over 18?

Not really a good change IMO

The board was never intended as just for the childfree, though. It was for MNetters who haven’t had kids for whatever reason.

And in any case, even calling it Childfree Mumsnetters didn’t stop parents saying they could post if their kids were on holiday with grandma for 2 weeks or whatever.

I’d prefer the name to be inclusive to the intended audience.

That said, the request for the name change was really intended to be taken forward alongside removing the threads from active, and because that hasn’t happened we may well see more parents posting here for the reasons you set out. Kind of infuriating that we have to even think like this, though.

"The board was never intended as just for the childfree, though. It was for MNetters who haven’t had kids for whatever reason."

I have no problem with sharing this space with people who do have children, i am only concerned that they respect the spirit with which this board was originally intended

You’ve quoted me discussing the childless - the board was originally intended for both childfree and childless (I was on the thread that gave rise to it). The childless don’t need to respect the spirit of being childfree.

Parents, of course, do need to respect the intention of the board. Hence the new disclaimer (fingers crossed).

CK - they're words on a screen. How the chuffing hell do I know what's going to upset them and what isn't?? crystal ball? exceptional empathy? (which of course I don't have because you know, not a parent).

Please go away. You contribute nothing to this board.

You've been told repeatedly on this board and your extra thread on site stuff that your comments on childfree and childless people are offensive and upsetting. Yet here you are, using the same arguments.

So apparently you don't think YOU should avoid upsetting people, only childfree/childless people.

You have never liked it that childfree and childless people manage to chat nicely together because you think it is "stupid" (your words) and therefore you have spared no effort in trying to drive a wedge inbetween us.

One thing is quite clear. This board is for childfree and childless MNers, you are neither so this conversation is nothing to do with you anyway. I would be polite but you have rudely forced your opinion on this board on multiple occasions now and it's just tedious.

My kingdom for an ignore poster button, MN. Failing that, I'm going to make much more use of the report button.

Contrary to some of the comments on here, I like it. Gets a big green tick from me 😁
There are many reasons why people are childless, some may want to share that with others, some may not. Whatever the reason, this isn't the dark ages - there is no shame these days in being childless.

There, said it. 😊

@CurlewKate Im childfree by choice and teetotal. Im 50 and have never been drunk. Just saying

Sorry, it's been a long day, I didn't read it properly 😱

Well those of us happily using the board without conflict (other than with busybodies who butt in fron active) find that thread titles solve this issue.

The board has been a lovely space for all people who for whatever reason never had children and there have been no issues between the childless and the childfree, who have accepted their varying experiences and feelings. The issues have been caused exclusively by those for whom the board was not intended who can't resist telling us we're wrong and don't belong.

No worries. Apologies for being snippy - too used to arguments on this topic. 😅

Stop trying to pigeonhole Childfree women as either devastated and upset or happy and carefree, it is a complex situation with complex feelings.

Indeed @JesusMaryAndJosephAndTheWeeDon I've been all of those (re my non-maternal status) at one time or another.