Does anyone else not have a huge family to celebrate Christmas with .

[hattie43]

I'm starting to see more and more
' chatter ' about Christmas events and planning the day in the media and online and it all assumes everyone has a huge family and lots of people coming around .
Does anyone else feel a pang of regret about having small / no family left or a twinge of envy of those with lots of big busy family Christmases .
This year it seems I'll only have one elderly relative left on the day and it seems tragic and not sure what we can do to have a nice day . I have a lot of events with friends during the month but they all have extended family and I'll be left with one elderly parent .
Maybe I'm being ungrateful and there will those who will be totally alone on the day and I wondered what they do . Perhaps they treat it like any other day .
I am not enjoying seeing the decline in family as I have no children and the oldies are dying off .

This board is the ‘Mumsnetters WITHOUT children’ board.

We are the same op

I had a houseful last year, and it was awful. Young kids tearing about the place (my kids are older, so I'm past that phase), adults everywhere including ones I'm not that fond of, sullen teens. Nah, not doing that again!!!

This year, just me, DH and our kids. Will stay in our PJs all day and eat ourselves silly. Gonna watch movies, play games and probably fall asleep on the couch.

Fabulous!! I can't be after all this forced joviality. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Christmas, I just don't have lots of relatives I like enough to enjoy spending that time with them 🤣

Well not much I can do about it now is there. Ask a mod to delete it if it bothers you so much.

Thanks , I just decided that rather than wish I'd got fun & busy plans like everyone else, it's better to plan what you like to do best, spoil yourself a bit etc then it starts to feel good and a day to look forward to by choice rather than dread. I'm glad I have a husband and dog now I must admit, but when I was alone I wasn't lonely or sad.

Id love a big extended family. The ones i have i keep away from.

Solo Xmas here, I'll either be at home or on a plane, not sure which yet.

These days Christmas is just me, my wife and my mum. I long to go back to when I was a little girl with upwards of 18 people for Christmas lunch including grandparents, aunts and uncles, but especially my Dad and sister. They are all dead now. I feel like the 3 of us rattle round the dining table, so we eat out on Christmas day.

Funnily enough, the thing I miss most is everyone getting wrapped up for the post dinner Christmas dog walk.

Like you, I feel guilty because it would be far worse to be completely on my own, but I feel like I'm shut out of a huge part of Christmas, and there is nothing I can do about it.

I'm not a fan of Xmas

In my 20s it was fun as I had friends in the area my parents lived in, and there seemed to be pubs open on the day etc.

In my 30s I had to alternate between parents and sister, I call it the custody battle!

Now mum is alone, I don't feel I can leave her, otherwise I'd go away with sis.

I'm hoping to be home by 4 as I don't want to walk back in the dark, so get some of the day to myself. But it is depressing for many reasons, not least that so many friends have fallen away, due to...having children!

I have been invited to other families Xmases and told to bring mum but she can't travel and I couldn't manage a house full of people, I'm a quiet little bunny. So it will feel like just another day of feigning cheer for mum.

@Rainbow821 ....this is for those without children and what we do without family.

Your Dh and kids ...righto...well placed here.

I have a reasonable-sized family and will be seeing them. One thing I do feel really acutely though, is that all of the talk about being SUPER BUSY in the run-up to Christmas, just doesn’t apply to me, but it does to everyone else. I don’t even bother asking any of my friends if they want to do anything in December any more, because I know the answer will be no, or “can we play it by ear?” Which translates to me as “you keep it free and be available, and I’ll tell you at the last minute if I fancy it and won’t feel guilty if I don’t”. Does anyone else get this?

Thanks for stopping by on the board for people who don't have children to tell us it's just you DH and the kids.

Not a Xmas lover, we do it just us and the dog. This year we will have lobsters, salad and Highgrove champagne perfect!

I’m an only child with an older partner, no kids. I currently spend Christmas with my parents and partner, which is lovely. But honestly, the prospect of potentially being alone one day is scary. We had a family friend with no children and after she lost her husband we invited her to spend Christmas with us, which she did every year, and we loved having her company. She passed away a couple of years ago and is very much missed. I’d like to think if I’m in a similar position one day, I’ll have a kind friend or neighbour who might do the same for me. But if not, I imagine I’ll be out in the countryside for a long walk with my dogs (as long as I’m still able to!) and coming home to a macaroni cheese, glass of wine, hot bath and good book!

But honestly, the prospect of potentially being alone one day is scary

I had a great aunt whose BF was killed in WW1 and who never married. She had a social life that a teenager would envy, but she lived to be a hundred and outlived all her friends. So it appears the answer is lots of friends but don't live too long 😉

OTOH DM was lonely because she wouldn't make the effort, expecting life to come to her and her DC to facilitate that for her. So it's down to (or up to) the individual.

Same here tho’ hadn’t thought about having lobster 😋

MrsDanvers

It's not really up to the individual though. Most people disappear into families like it's bloody lockdown.

I dread the whole season, it's grown...it used to be just a day or two.

Before dad died, I used to go away with my sister (on a childfree hotel break) but now don't feel I can leave mum alone so it's another miserable day with someone who doesn't want to be around any more.

How did everyone’s Christmas days go then ? Just found this thread myself today on Boxing Day lol

Excellently well, thanks. Plenty of good food and drink. Now watching the racing and telling myself that when that's over I'll go for a walk.

It was a lovely calm day with mum , I'd been out so much in the run up I was ultimately pleased not to have to host lots of family . I'm still very aware though that I'll be on my own in the next few years .

Very calm, relaxed day here. Plenty good food, surprisingly little alcohol, fire lighting, nice music and peace.