Worst comment you've had as a child free woman

[derekdied]

I'll start. Someone I had literally met about fifteen minutes previously. One of her first questions "do you have kids?" Me "no.." her "oh could you just not be bothered with the responsibility?" 😮

It's kind of embarrassing for @yesmen really, bleating on about respecting choices and it being a site for parents to one of the parents on the thread 😂

No matter what the personal, political, intellectual, religious or philosophical position held, refering to women as "brood mares" (animals) and "incubators" (objects) does not help any of us in my opinion.

I know the poster who used that language has children. That does not change anything about my opinion of the descriptive terms used.

I disagree with the premise that child free people do not deserve social housing.

Don't like what people are saying, please feel free to browse the rest of the site for something more to your liking.

Surely the whole point of existence of Mumsnet is engagement, debate, opinion etc.

Not really.

One statement of preference is not really bleating on.

I spoke as a woman to (I presume) another woman.

Respecting that I was on the childfree thread, I was speaking as a parent to a parent.

Then why did you say ‘you expect respect for your choices YET use dehumanising language about women who have children’? This thread, this whole board is nothing to do with parents expecting respect for their choices and that posters wasn’t asking respect for their choice to have a child.

Respecting that I was on the childfree thread, I was NOT speaking as a parent to a parent.

There's an awful lot of word salad going on to try to not have to own up to a mistake

@yesmen Do you call out people on the main board who talk about women in a dehumanising way? Or are you another one who only notices it when it’s targeted at mums?

I ask because I see a lot of “we’re women and we must support women!” directed at those who don’t have kids, but those people seem to vanish whenever those without kids are described as barren, immature, joyless, selfish, or pointless. All of which I’ve seen on MN, and none of which I’ve seen called out except by other childless women.

I read it differently. One/we/people expect respect for choices they make (to have, have not, or cannot have)...

So - if I could re write that first response I would express it differently.

But - within that I stand by the larger point - classing women as animals or objects, no matter what choice has been made, or what life has presented, does nobody any favours.

But - if you want to hang on to that right to do that then have at it.

I have been onMumsnet for 15 years and have, on more than one occassion, had my arse handed to me on a plate, as the saying around here goes.

If I ever saw this - but those people seem to vanish whenever those without kids are described as barren, immature, joyless, selfish, or pointless - I would absolutely call it out.

Oh dear. I seem to have opened a can of worms
I'm sorry if I have offended anyone.

I have to sign off now. Will be back later.

But - within that I stand by the larger point - classing women as animals or objects, no matter what choice has been made, or what life has presented, does nobody any favours.

They are not called that for their choices. They were called that because they try to push their choice on others who made different ones.

Some people do basically think of women as incubators. Not just men, women too. And aome are broody mares trying to make others feel bad about their different choice and make them chnage their mind because they can't clmorehend, someone isn't broody...

Some people do basically think of women as incubators. Not just men, women too.

Maybe. It does not make it right though.

Some people think women are 2nd class citizens. Does not make
it right.

some people think all women are whores - does not make it right

and so on.

My kingdom for an ignore button, Mumsnet.

Agreed!!

I found this little gem on the having a baby at 50 thread

having a child at 50 may not be for everyone, I get that. But i really struggle with the selfishness comments. It’s odd what we as a society think is selfish. Older mothers get the selfish tag. but being a mother at any age is a lot less selfish than flying on holidays or excessive shopping and destroying the planet, for example.

It's the sheer unintelligence of that comment that amazes, really, and the way the poster has mindlessly absorbed every stereotype about CF women.

Indeed, it’s not as if people with kids don’t travel and consume as much as those who don’t!

Well FTR I can confirm I've never indulged in 'excessive shopping' - whatever the definition of that is - and the last time I was on a plane was 2012. I don't drive, either, so I'll confidently assert that my part in the destruction of the planet is considerably less than that posters.

“Having a child is 7-times worse for the climate in CO2 emissions annually than the next 10 most discussed mitigants that individuals can do,” analysts at Morgan Stanley said.

Source: Climate change is making people think twice about having children (cnbc.com)

Lack of intelligence is correct

I've been a carer since being a child to three different close relatives. Since I reached 18 things ramped up hugely and I've ended up with 2 at once and as a result my life has been on hold and I haven't even had the chance to meet someone to know of everything works and now approaching 40 it's likely too late (and my own health neglect is starting to shout out long and loud too)

I still get the pitying looks from relatives asking if I want them and how I haven't got long. Neighbours asking if anythings happened "you want to hurry up and have babies, who will look after you?" random shop assistants to taxi drivers asking if I have kids of my own and how I will know love and dedicating my life to looking after someone and what life is really all about when I do.

Nah love, once I'm no longer a carer I finally get my own life to start! (what's left of it given what could be coming up soon health wise 🙄🤦🏻‍♀️😂)

People get so indignant when I post this article demonstrating just how much you’d have to drive, fly and eat red meat to get even close to the carbon footprint of one child.

Carbon illiteracy is a massive problem.

https://amp.theguardian.com/environment/2017/jul/12/want-to-fight-climate-change-have-fewer-children

I love a graphic.

People get so indignant when I post this article demonstrating just how much you’d have to drive, fly and eat red meat to get even close to the carbon footprint of one child

Butbutbut they'll be paying our pensions and wiping our backsides when we're old!!

Another thing people without kids don’t seem to grasp is that if you don’t have kids it’s just your impact on the planet. But if you have kids, it’s your impact plus theirs plus their children and their children and……..

My DH and I do travel a fair bit. But our lifetime carbon footprint will still be a lot less than my two friends who had four children each and who are now starting to have children themselves.