childminder taking me to court!

[salsabunny]

Hi, Any advice please on my situation would be really appriciated, am so stressed here. I'm a young mum on a quite a low income and my 6 year old son hasn't been happy at childminders for a while having tummyaches when he has to go there.

He told me she has been force feeding him which explains his recently refusing to eat at home and school. Also there are several other exaples of very bad care that have happened that I prob shouldn't go into due to confidentiality. He has been very upset on at least 3 occasions because of how he is treated there.

Basically I felt i needed to stop sending him immidiatly causing a big nightmare for myslf with regard to work ect. I said I'm not happy with the care she provides and she denied everything and threatened me that if I don't pay her notice (even though she won't look after him in that time) she will take me to court.

She has sent me a solicitors letter already She is demanding £500 for nothing after she has mistreated my child. I worte back offereing her half but she refused. After reading some other similar posts it looks like I'm going to get nowhere with this????

I'm already out of pocket with missing work and now paying my sister to come and look after him (my sister lives 60 miles away from me so i'm paying her petrol each day).

I have no faith a complaint to OFTED will be of any use at all (She'll get away with doing this to other children too!) and I think the courts will just force me to pay anyway. Do you think I should just use my savings I keep for emergencies and just pay her off - this is making me ill I'm getting migraines and being sick every day i'm so steressed that shes doing this and lying

I'm really scared of being taken to court.

Please, any help?

while that is possible, moogster, it is also possible that it could be more serious. The parent of the child in your care knows you're a good cm and that you wouldn't do that and that her dc imagines stuff like that...same as if my ds (once he learns to talk) said something like that about our cm, I'd laugh, too (she has no basement) and I just know she wouldn't mistreat any child. Ever.

OP doesn't know that for sure, has a bad feeling and other stuff has happened.

If there have been other incidents and she genuinely feels that her child is being mistreated, she should definitely not brush it off and let it keep happening to her ds and other children.

I'd rather protect the children than the cm tbh.

yes report to ofsted - this is what they are for

i agree with wannabe and veer on the side caution with what actually happened

was child force fed, or said to try the food/wait at table till others finished

unless had tea as soon as at home after school ie 3.30/4pm then doubt child sat at table for 90mins

but yes you do need to pay the cm if you are not using her (your choice) as sure there is 4weeks notice in contract

yes report to ofsted - this is what they are for

i agree with wannabe and veer on the side caution with what actually happened

was child force fed, or said to try the food/wait at table till others finished

unless had tea as soon as at home after school ie 3.30/4pm then doubt child sat at table for 90mins

but yes you do need to pay the cm if you are not using her (your choice) as sure there is 4weeks notice in contract

blondes, but if the cm is actually mistreating the child, she is in breach of contract, so OP should not have to pay her, is this correct?

Is mistreating a child breach of contract?
That is the question... if the regulator finds that the CM has mistreated the child, then it may be grounds to terminate contract.
Without the regulator being involved, then there is no proof that there has been mistreatment, is there?
That is where a court could get involved, though would thay still be doable via 'small claims' special procedures court?

Is quality of care, how someone treats a child not eating dinner, covered under the contract terms?
I would not have thought there would be any specific terms to deal with that.

unfort no proof that the cm is mistreating her mindee, just the word of a 6yr who has been fussy with his food (trying to be neutral here)

Then follow PinkChick's advice and write the letter stating your reasons for removal. This will then be considered in a court case if it comes to that instead of a judge just looking at notice period in the contract. Date it, sign it and make sure it is in writing and you have a copy and whoever necessary for the court case.

It makes me absolutely sick to my stomach, nannynick to even think that mistreating a child could be considered not in breach of contract. No one should ever be able to get away with mistreating a child. Not ever. Sorry that sounded a bit like I was attacking you, NN - I'm not. Just made me feel uneasy that someone mistreating a child could still get money off the mistreated child's parents. Revolting.

I know what you mean. It doesn't sound right, maybe it is a breach of contract. Problem is I doubt any of us knows for sure - has anyone been to court under this kind of circumstance and the court did consider it grounds for not paying notice period?

Nanny contracts have a Gross Misconduct section ... Do childminder contracts have anything similar?

I was chatting to CM friend about contracts this week. Her hubby is a litigation solicitor and he said by the time you have gone to court, paid the solicitors time and whatever else you have to pay for the amount of money that you would get at the end of it wouldn't be worth your while. If is for a small amount say £500. The CM would end up with about £100. The letter from the solicitor would have cost her money as well. I would write and say you are ending the contract due to the breakdown of the relationship between you and the CM.

Well, if she indeed had mistreated my child, I would certainly not be paying her a penny more. yes, it's her job. But her job is to care for my child. If she doesn't do her job, she doesn't get paid and f**ck any notice period. I'd go to court after writing her that letter and bring a copy of it with me.

Actually, I'd call ofsted, report it, then tell her I'd actually prefer to bring her to court for mistreating my child.

This sort of thing makes me so . What makes someone who does something like that think that they should get paid for it?

obv no childcarer should mistreat a child - tbh no one should but im still trying to be neutral

not saying that op is lying but if one of you cm's on here came on and said that a mindess mum had taken dc out and not paying, you would all say take to court for lack of salary

op said "I had spoken to her about the incident and tried to sort it out but she diddn't see a problem with pressuring him to eat and denies all the rest. "

depends what she calls pressuring to eat, if mine dont eat/are slow etc, after 30mins they get a timer of 10mins (so 40 in all) and if dont want it,then fine BUT they have to sit at the table with the others till they are finished

Contact OFSTED they can shut her down straight away, they are very hot on safeguarding and if your still unsure speak to the local social services, there are plenty of roots for you to take, as for going to court, she has to have a good enough reason and if they don't like what she says at court she would actually end up worse off than yourself as she would have to pay for everything, children dont tend to lie unless they are covering things up

My word gotkidz. Kids lie constantly! They don't learn the diffrence between the real world and fibbing until they're something like 7 years old.
You're going to get walked all over by yours if you think they never make stuff up!

Not sure if anyone has already mentioned this or not... there is a Leaflet for people who are going through having a claim made against them (so they are defending the claim).

From HMcourtsservice Small Claims : EX303 A court claim has been made against me ? what should I do?

Also

EX306 Small Claims Track in Civil Courts

But StarExpat, surely if you are going to use maltreatment as a reason to breach your contract, you need to have actual evidence of maltreatment? Not just say "but I don't know for sure that she hasn't been maltreating him".

"children dont tend to lie unless they are covering things up"

I found mine lied quite a bit actually at that age, to get others into trouble or because they were feeling hard done by and needing to justify it to themselves; and they are not particularly nasty children

also, more frequent than actual lying was exaggeration, claiming that I had done something when I knew I hadn't- but it felt like it at the time

I remember doing this to my mum- lying on the floor and shouting "you kicked me" when she had lightly and accidentally brushed against me. I had been misbehaving and needed to feel it was her who was nasty instead.

Of course, it is not certain that the OPs ds has been exaggerating. But it is not certain he hasn't either. To withhold money you owe someone, you would have to be pretty certain.

Do you have any correspondence with the childminder, stating your concerns? Have you ever raised these issues with her? Have you made a complaint to her? When did she find out that you had a problem with her care?

All this is very relevant. Unfortunately, it is very common for parents to attempt to wriggle out of paying by claiming bad practice and threatening the childminder with a report to Ofsted. Even I have had a very unpleasant parent try it on with me.

If you have never tried to discuss the problem until you removed your child from her care, then it may be difficult to prove that you are not simply trying to get out of paying her. Talk to Ofsted by all means, but they will have expected you to have tried to sort this out with the childminder first.

You might also like to give the NCMA a call on 0845 880044. They're there for parents as well as childminders and may be able to advise you how to proceed and if you have a case.

Cory I see what you are saying. And I agreed that if my ds (when he learns to talk) says similar about our cm, I'd find it hard to believe because she hasn't a bad bone in her body. And kids do lie all the time.

OP has a bad feeling about the incidents. If my gut feeling was telling me that something was amiss and my child complaining of mistreatment, I'd not pay the cm either. And I'd be worried about the other children in her care.

However Tanith re: "Unfortunately, it is very common for parents to attempt to wriggle out of paying by claiming bad practice and threatening the childminder with a report to Ofsted. Even I have had a very unpleasant parent try it on with me."
Maybe I'm just naive but who would make a false accusation like that, putting someone else's job and integrity at risk just to not have to pay some money?? Now that as well, makes me .

I just can't decide where I stand at this point...

The CM herself admitted having him at the table for an hour and a half. She was annoyed with my son for not eating. Yes she did offer to have him for the next 4 weeks too though.

I would absolutely never report somthing that wasn't true, that would be bang out of order and spitefull. And I wouldn't tell her if she backs off i wouldn't report her I'm worried about the other little ones there too. I called OFSTED today they said they would want to investigate.

I do know kids can exxagerate but I am very close to my son and I know pretty much when he is telling the truth and not. He has been having tummyaches and headaches for weeks the day before he goes there and I feel terrible that I diddn't do anything sooner.

I also know for a fact that this woman has lied on 2 other occasions about things relating to the kids she looks after.

Starexpat.
I had a parent who didn't want to pay me 4 weeks notice. She stood at the end of my drive effing and literally screaming at me that I was money grasping bitch etc. for telling her that notice was needed. She said she'd "make up some shit" to tell OFSTED unless I let her off the money.
I stood my ground, sent the invoice, and lo and behold got an unannounced visit from OFSTED as someone had complained I was swearing and shouting at the children, making their child go without food and countless other ridiculous allegations.
I thankfully showed the inspector I was a normal nice person who cared about the children, but I had many a sleepless night and lots of tears until it was resolved.
There's a lot of very nasty people about.
The money involved was £200. hardly a life altering amount, but the complaint, and possible loss of license would have been to me.
Working alone, cm's are very vulnerable to a "my word against yours " situation

Salsabunny, I'm not implying this is something you'd do, or that your complaint isn't justified!!

Salsa, again I ask, is he constipated or does he have a tooth cavity that night be giving him a tummy ache or putting him off eating

You say there are two times where she has lied about stuff,: if you change a few details (childrens ages by a bit, or boys instead of girls) can you tell us ?

I guess that as a lot of people are saying that people make things up to avoid paying so looks like I have to proove I'm not doing that in order to get the court to listen.

I do have some evidence and even witnesses to another incident so i'll have to tell these to the solicitor and see if they think that will help.

Theres also another mother who a while back told me she wanted to complain and take her own son out - she approached me to talk as she knew I sent my son there too, and she waas upset aobut things. I diddn't even know her before. For whatever reason she has now carried on sending her boy but some off the things she said made me listen more to my son as the two kids had told us both similar things.

I don't want to quote this other mum or involve her at all and It could cause a huge problem between her and the childminder. she obviously decided she couldn't face the hassle, for whatever reason. It's not fair to drag her into it, I don't know what other problems she might have in her life. it's so frustrating though when you KNOW!!!!

I have absolutely no doubt that childminder is dishonest and doesn't treat the kids in her care very well, absolutely no doubt at all but It's so frustrating when you think you need to POOVE it in order to get your right.

I'm getting more upset about this now

I'd have paid her notice just to get her out of my life. It would have been worth it to me.