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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Original poster

childminder meeting lover with child in car

22 replies

cantbeliveit · 01/08/2005 23:56

a childminder that i know met her lover and had oral sex with the child che minds in tha car.He was asleep at the time.This makes me mad though what would you do about it.I have changed my name as i don't want her to find out

OP posts:
QueenOfQuotes · 01/08/2005 23:58

I'd think you were having a laaaavvvv

Original poster
cantbeliveit · 02/08/2005 00:00

no i am not i really feel if i was the parent i would want to know.Or am i the only one who may think it is not the done thing

OP posts:
Original poster
cantbeliveit · 02/08/2005 00:00

wished i was queenofquotes

OP posts:
HellyBelly · 02/08/2005 17:39

That is absolutely disgusting, I am shocked!!! I'm not saying I haven't done these things myself in the past but to do this with kiddies, especially ones you are being paid to look after is

moozoboozo · 02/08/2005 17:42

OMG!!!! I'd kill her. Incidentally, how did you find out about it?

Pixiefish · 02/08/2005 17:46

i'd be fuming if that was my child in the car even if he was asleep.
what if he'd woken up and seen what was going on?

Hulababy · 02/08/2005 17:59

I'd be fuming; livid. I suspect I'd not be using the cm again.

This is completely inappropriate behaviour for the cm, and must surely be against ome rules.

NannyL · 02/08/2005 18:26

OMG

shocking!

completly inappropriate, IF i was the child mother i would want to know (to ensure i NEVER sent my child there again), and i would also report her etc...

this is completely wrong and she should NOT be allowed to get away with it

WigWamBam · 02/08/2005 18:29

How did you find out that she did this? Don't go making accusations to the parents unless you're 100% sure that this is actually true.

jamboure · 02/08/2005 18:32

OMG!!!!!! that is disgusting

Never should you have sex of anykind in front of kids sleeping or not.

What does the friend say about it or is she not bothered?

Bet it would be different if it were her child in the car.

I for one as a parent would remove my child from her care and find a better more suited childminder. I would also report her to the care commission

QueenOfQuotes · 02/08/2005 18:33

Reading this in the 'cold light of day' I still feel the same way as I did LAVst night

TwinSetAndPearls · 02/08/2005 21:46

This is of cource unacceptable, but I don't understand how you know about it. I am hoping she didn't plunge to further depths and have an audience.

I wouldn't have any kind of imtimate action in front of my own child never mind someone elses, hence we are always hvang to creepn into the hall for nookie as dd keeps getting into bed with us. I swear she has a randiness monitor any movement and she is out of her bed across the landing and into our room!

nannyjo · 02/08/2005 21:48

i would go absolutley mad, that is disgusting behaviour and i would report her, sorry if anyone thinks thats too harsh but ahe shouldn't mind.
What would she do if she met him at her house???

Original poster
CANTBELIVEIT · 02/08/2005 21:52

this is tricky but it was a friends husband and he told her after their fling had finished.I feel like telling the parent but this would only add to my friends pain.I don't think she should get away with it either

OP posts:
katymac · 02/08/2005 22:06

Well acording to my child protection course this would count as child abuse - and could possibly lead to prosecution

Tanzie · 02/08/2005 22:08

My parents used to have sex in the same room as me when I was a child and we went on holiday and I shared their room. The noise used to wake me up.

They also used to lock me in the room at night and go out on the town.

Is that child abuse then?

katymac · 02/08/2005 22:12

I'm not sure Tanzie - but to "abuse" (in it's other sence) the trust that the parent has in his/her C/Mer and to expose a child (not in the minders family) to scenes involving sex - I think would be classed as abuse

EG an older brother showing a younger sister porn could be considered abuse(in the eyes of the authorities)

Original poster
CANTBELIVEIT · 02/08/2005 23:01

friends dh would get dragged into it too though

OP posts:
WigWamBam · 03/08/2005 09:20

So you're saying that it was the man who was in the car who told his wife, now that his fling with the childminder is over, and she has told you?

Sounds to me like someone, probably telling lies, trying to get a very nasty form of revenge for being dumped - it sounds as if he is trying to get this woman reported so that she loses her job. Keep as far out of this as you can.

vickiyumyum · 03/08/2005 09:30

sorry to hijack, but yes tanzie locking you in your room while they go out, i see that as a form of abuse/neglect. what if there had been a fire or something (i know this is probably unlikely but you just never know and i know that i would neverr be able to forgive myself if soemthing like that had happened and i had locked my child in a room)

NannyL · 03/08/2005 19:42

i agree tanzie.... that doessound like a form of child abuse (neglect) and would be completley unacceptable nowadays

(not that long ago childen were caned at school as well)

edam · 03/08/2005 20:12

WWB's got a good point there. How do you know the man/his wife aren't just lashing out at the childminder in a really underhand way? I've known people who've been dumped by a doc trying to think up reasons for complaining to the GMC...

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