Nanny and her mobile phone... wwyd?

[mummywoowoo]

I have noticed when working at home that my nanny ALWAYS has her mobile with her, no matter what they are doing; and I've heard the text noise go - so its sometimes switched on - or was on that occasion.

Now when I'm at work, my phone is on silent - although I have it close by just in case DS is ill and she needs to ring me. Don't get me wrong, I am happy for her to have her mobile at work so she can get hold of me. But often I am in the same house, working ...and I am concerned that she may be texting when she's supposed to be entertaining the DS! She is supposed to be working after all.

She has no children, her family live abroad so not sure if she has any elderly relatives who are at death's door etc...and that would require her to have her phone with her at all times.

Apart from being 10 mins late EVERY morning (which I am dealing with separately) we are happy with her and DS seems happy.

What would you do? I am not great at confrontation and personality wise I feel she would get angry and defensive if I asked her about it... I don't want to spy on her to see if she is using the phone or not!

Lol

I have worked for families where TV is totally banned, where certain programmes/TV time is allowed, and where children are free to watch whatever they want! I always follow the parents preferences on the matter.

Slightly off topic, Missus, but do the parents always follow their own rules about such things? I know of one nanny whose employers have given her a list of 'banned' foods - which they promptly stuff the child full of when they get home from work (he complains that Nanny won't let him have x, y and z...)

PS Why, thank you, cinnamonbun.

Bimi, of course not

They love to make our lives tough (joke mums, joke)

Of course not... but it's not the nanny's place to question these things

IF she has her phone ALWAYS and constaintly texting then I would have a word with her. As it will distract her looking after child/ren. But if its now and then I dont see problem why she cant use her phone.

MacB, I agree that it is about focus. If the child/children are occupied doing something - they may be entertaining themselves, not needing lots of interaction - then the nanny does not need to focus on the child/children and can take a mini-break to send a text.

I use my mobile quite a bit during my working day, generally early on it's texting Childminder friends to see if we are meeting up anywhere, such as going for a walk, to soft-play, swimming etc. Then I will often use it to look up recipes, places to go and I can use it in-car as a SatNav. I try to avoid answering calls from unknown people, I actually avoid all calls as much as possible unless callerID shows it's from my boss.

Phones these days are multi-function devices... mine is my watch, a camera, SatNav, internet browser (for looking things up, especially when 5 year old asks what the tallest building is in the world and how many lifts it has!), GeoCache finder (reminds me, must take the children for another treasure hunt, they like finding the treasure boxes), walking tracker (it can track our walking routes and show how far we went, what speed etc - I have some OS walking Maps on it, so it's a bit like a SatNav for walkers), it has instruction manuals on it - so I can make a loaf of bread using the bread machine, what else does it do... hmm, oh it can check my e-mail and thus also Twitter Direct Messages, sends texts and can make/receive phone calls (don't get those often though).

Texting is a small part of what a phone will do these days, so if you see someone using a phone, they may not be sending a text... they may be looking things up on the net which could be work related - a recipe, bus/train timetable, checking the weather forecast etc.

If children are being ignored to a large extent then that is wrong. It's about focus and getting things in balance. If the child needs the nanny, then the child's needs come first. At other times, the child may benefit from not having 100% of the nannies attention. Children need time to explore for themselves, they don't need constant attention... just a watchful eye. Pity my eyes don't see through walls - as it's when I'm not in the same room that I find issues can occur!

Jeez, who'd be a nanny eh?

You don't own these people you know... Pick your battles and that...

YABU- When you are looking after your child and skimming Mumsnet, chatting to partner or friend, thinking of work browsing the web is that negligent?
Out of curiosity how many nannies have you been through in a year?

I woudln't have a problem with this unless I had heard her on the phone having long conversations when she should be looking after the DCs. You sound a little controlling which is perhaps due to you feeling insecure about her and her role in your DS's life. Totally understandable but you need to chill a bit.

hang on a minute Silver - if a mum is looking after her child and 'skimming Mumsnet, chatting to partner or friend, thinking of work browsing the web' then to me that's fine BECAUSE SHE'S NOT BEING PAID. Mum's are not professionals childcarers. Nannies are. if someone is being paid £8/hour to look after children, then that's what you'd expect them to do isn't it? not have one eye on the child and one on their phone. if my GP started taking personal emails, texting and chatting to his mates on the phone while examining me i might be a bit miffed. same goes for nannies.

I think you might be over reacting about the phone Mummywoowoo, as previously mentioned it isn't possible to control who texts you and perhaps she has asked for people to text rather than phone so she can look at it later, have you seen her permanently looking a the texts or have you just heard her recieving them?

Also why is she not having play dates with other local nannies? This could be a way of keeping her happier too, and the happier the nanny the happier the child imho. I noticed a marked difference in my childs relationship with her old carer after they met with friends in the park and played together rather than doing things alone and I trusted her massively and my dd loved her! I was very sad when we moved not to be able to use her still, but there we go. Sometimes these relationships take time and perhaps you are a little jealous (as I was) that you ds is having a lovely time on a daily basis with someone else? whilst you slog away?

most nannies can multitask

i really dont see the harm in sending odd texts while playing with children

op when you are at work ( In an office not your house) do you ever text your nanny to say hello/ask her something etc?

my mb has just texed me to ask if i can get some chicken out of freezer for her /db tea

i obv replied no probs

texting is an easy way to tell/ask someone to do something, which they can read and do at their convience

Is there any reason why a nanny shouldn't arrange playdates with Mums, or am I missing something? The assumption always seems to be that nannies will/should only socialise with other nannies. Bah to that. Nannies are people too!

Oh absolutely not, Bimi, but nannies often know nannies through websites or have worked in the same area as them for years. Plus some mums can be a bit snitty about socialising with nannies and others have very close bonds with NCT/other ante-natal groups. I laughed at your comment "nannies are people too!" - some parents don't think so sometimes. Nannies are just the hired help.

It does tend to come more from the mums that they don't want to socialise with nannies. Maybe they subconciously feel that we're critising their parenting style because childcare is our job? I have a friend with a 14month old who was quite weird with me the first few times we met and eventually I asked her why and she said it was because I was so good with her daughter. I gently pointed out that even if A did listen when I said no or I knew what toys to play with that's partly because I've been doing it longer than she has and with many different children BUT I don't know her daughter like she does. I'm not a parent and I'm very aware of that.

But then again when I was nannying in Paris I had lots of 'friends' who were mothers!

frakkin - I think part of the reason I feel a bit cross about this mothers/nannies thing is that I have come across precisely what you describe, namely mums in the playground who ignore the nannies because they're 'just' hired help.

You're probably right about people feeling potentially criticised, too. I personally find it very nice being friends with someone who's as strict as I am.

i have met some lovely mums during my career as a nanny and 2 are from my previous job that i left 5 years ago and i still see them every few weeks for lunch and wine

Sorry didn't mean to sound nanniest! My point here was that quite often nannies do know each other through previous jobs etc, and sometimes they are younger than some of the mums or from a different country and so on, I just found myself that there was a definite nanny network with the professional nannie's. Also if you have sahm friends they may feel or your nanny may feel uncomfortable socialising with them incase they get too close/ feel like they are spying being spied on....it all depends on the nanny and if you are having trust issues with yours then obviously she may feel this to be the case. Really wasn't trying to be nanniest at all though!

Bimi in my local park I was the odd one out and glared at because before I went back to work I was the mother, infact I was blatantly ignored at a tester class I took my dd to because I was the mother! There was definite nanny mafia who were a little bit scary my sister's nanny though was part of our family for ages and came as a very welcome guest to my wedding and even made the b/maid dresses when the original person pulled out at the last minute. (would like to point out she offered and was gratefully accepted!) we all have an open invite to visit her in her native country now she has moved back and regularly exchange emails/ presents for relevant bdays.

You sound very bitter, Bimi. My nannies hang out with some of the mums at the gate. They probably hang out more with other nannies, but that is their choice, not mine.

And if you don't like mums in general, you probably shouldn't work for them.

Um, Strix, I'm not a nanny but a mere SAHM. Sorry!

Ah... so you are jealous and bitter about people who have nannies... or maybe people who are nannies. And that's why you got all snooty about telling OP she could look after them herself .

Why don't you pack your sweeping generalisations off to another thread topic. Perhaps one you know something about.

i can't imagine any of the trendy young nannies around my area wanting to hang out with an old bird like me. surely that's why the nanny versus mummy group is separate - we're usually so much older.