Nanny and her mobile phone... wwyd?

[mummywoowoo]

I have noticed when working at home that my nanny ALWAYS has her mobile with her, no matter what they are doing; and I've heard the text noise go - so its sometimes switched on - or was on that occasion.

Now when I'm at work, my phone is on silent - although I have it close by just in case DS is ill and she needs to ring me. Don't get me wrong, I am happy for her to have her mobile at work so she can get hold of me. But often I am in the same house, working ...and I am concerned that she may be texting when she's supposed to be entertaining the DS! She is supposed to be working after all.

She has no children, her family live abroad so not sure if she has any elderly relatives who are at death's door etc...and that would require her to have her phone with her at all times.

Apart from being 10 mins late EVERY morning (which I am dealing with separately) we are happy with her and DS seems happy.

What would you do? I am not great at confrontation and personality wise I feel she would get angry and defensive if I asked her about it... I don't want to spy on her to see if she is using the phone or not!

Punctuality was something that my nanny wasn't great at in the early days - but we addressed it very quickly and she soon got the message. The texting wouldn't bother me unduly - I often text, chat on the phone etc when I'm at home and being at home with children all day can be isolating...

My children were always happy, healthy, well fed and had a wide circle of friends, due to my nanny's friendships with other childcare professionals/friends. As long as she's not on the phone all the time and is caring for your son properly, then I don't see that as being a problem. The lateness, yes and you need to address it.

I also agree with the others, that alarm bells are also ringing when you say that you can't approach her with something - because she might be upset - she's looking after your most precious 'possession'!!

You could have a review meeting where you raise the phone along with everything else, so it won't seem like you're making a big deal about it.

For me it would be a major deal as I had one nanny for whom the phone was clearly top priority, way ahead of any work duty. It was a problem. She was unfocused and, frankly, lazy in other ways too, and is funnily enough no longer with us. Phone use and not use is now in our contracts.

Our nanny has her mobile with her at all times and frequently gets texts which I know are from friends / boyfriends but I really don't have an issue with it. Texts take seconds to read and respond to and she is a fabulous nanny to the DCs and a text here or there does not detract from that. I work full time and send and receive texts during the day (including to and from her)so unless she is permantly glued to it and ignoring your DC then I would breathe and let it go.

Our old nanny was on her mobile a fair bit - mostly incoming calls.

A lot of it was her arranging to meet with her nanny friends, which I encouraged to a degree because I wanted DD to be out and about with other kids and for our nanny to not be bored at home all day. If she made the odd personal call, well, so do I when I am at work.

DD did at one point suggest that we should get the nanny a new phone for christmas because "she really likes her phone Mummy!" I mentioned that to her and noticed the mobile use did decline a bit, but it really wasn't a major issue as she was a v good nanny in general and I trusted her to know what was appropriate.

However if your nanny is making calls when she shouldn't be I would say something. Our first nanny decided to use our home phone to make calls to Australia! I hadn't given permission (and she racked up £50+ in a couple of weeks!) but also I could see from the bill that she was making the calls at times when DD - then 14 months - would have been awake and wanting attention, so there were two issues there. Just so you know, that nanny also had a punctuality problem - I wish I had dealt with it more harshly as it was indicative of a generally slack attitude and lack of boundaries.

I could not survive with out my mobile during the day. I do not see or talk with any adults at all. The DC's are all at school and I am stuck in the house most of the day. My family are friends are overseas too so given the time difference I talk in the mornings with them while loading the dishwasher etc

If she was on the phone constantly and not playing at all with your DC then I would make an issue out of it but every so often is not hurting anyone.

Ultimately it depends on whether you think that her focus is more on her phone than on yoru children. Our current nanny is fine - will arrange playdates etc and speak to me and her phone usage is minimal, but our previous nanny was glued to her phone to the extent that it was clear that she was just going through the motions with our children and her mind was not fully on the job at all. If we were not physically in the room with her then her phone was generally in use. Not what I expect from someone employed to look after my children. Fortunately she resigned pretty much on the day we were oing to give her a final warning.

It is all about balance.

Nannies are often young women. Young people go everywhere with their phones. It's not an issue. YABU on this point. She would be amazed if you raised it.

Different if she was spending hours on the phone chatting but you don't say she is.

It does take time to relax and trust and let go...I've been a nanny employer for 14 years and it doesnt really get easier but you get used to it. You have to delegate and trust, just as you do at work. You cannot micromanage everything and it is good for our DCs to get different influences.

I don't answer my bosses house phone so if they want to contact me they need to ring my mobile so yes I keep it on and we occasionally text each other throughout the day.

It's made it onto The Discussions Of The Day list

Amazed we haven't got onto using Mumsnet on a working day... we've been there before folks. Have to say, Monday is my day off.

I wouldn't have a problem with it as long as she wasn't ignoring the children to be on her phone

Well I will admit to using it on a working day but when you are stuck in the house all day having done everything you need to do it is my link with the outside world

Its lonely looking after little kids - having a phone for texts with friends is fine, as long as its not excessive and she's not ignoring the kids to exclusivly chat on the phone or text. My nanny's phone goes off loads - but she ignores it if she's with the kids and generally only uses it when she's on her lunch break which is fine by me. The being late continuously would be more of an issue for me.

Text's I wouldn't mind at all, compared to leaving my kids in the car whilst she popped to the bank, taking them off to Wales without my knowledge and various other issues we had. If yours is just texting or even chatting breath a sigh of relief.

If you do not want to upset the relationship I would suggest that this is not a battle worth fighting.

Rather, I would get a nanny diary and chat about what they did in the day. If the day was full of suitable activities then I wouldn't care if she was on the phone. If you worry about her being preoccupied than I would chat to some friends who see her out and about (i.e. school gate) and ask them if they think she has a handle on road safety.

So, basically, I would be concerned if her duties weren't being satisfactorily executed. If they are, I wouldn't really care about her text / phone bill.

Also, if you did not provide this phone for her use, then I wouldn't think you really have a right to say how she does or doesn't use it. But, of course, you have every right to comment on her job performance.

well im at work, on internet, but babs is asleep

but it has been done many time before as nick said

Another nanny here with Monday as her day off .

I think it's a very, very petty issue and mobile phones are like third hands to most of us in this society, especially nannies who have to keep track of all the adults they might meet/speak to in a day otherwise surrounded by children (without phones ).

Really don't understand how your nanny doesn't have playdates , that would worry me much more than the phone issue. As you've said you don't hover over her/see if she texts back, you can't possibly know who the texts are from or what they contain, so they could reasonably ALL be job-related, or could be from her partner, mother, doctor, mobile phone provider, even my bank sends me texts .

How long has she been with you and how old is DS? Does he have a nap or two in the day? If so, would it be acceptable for her to speak/text on her phone then? Maybe you should just say something along the lines of that. Nannying isn't very similar to other professions where having your mobile and sending texts are unprofessional (like in an office, nursery, school, well...anywhere really), you're in a home environment.

Let us know if you have the guts decide to speak to her about it.

Wow, don't know why I had so many s, am in a good mood today though.

As a sometime employers of a nanny, I really think you're making a big deal out of something that's not important.

And when I'm at work (in an office) I have my phone on all the time, send and answer texts and take personal calls. So does everyone else - it's just life nowadays.

must be the sun starberries

agree weird about the playdates - or lack of them

I think personal calls / texts are really inappropriate at work, unless emergencies obviously.

true to a certain extent, but many nannies work 11/12hrs days, so from 7am-7pm they cant contact people/shops/banks/doctors etc?

rem nannies dont have a lunch hour or finish at convienaint time to make appointments, so HAVE to use their phone during working hours

but with everything it is give+take - if always on phone and child/ren suffereing then say something, if child happy then leave alone

I wouldn't have a problem with the nanny having her phone on and receiving/sending texts providing she wasn't constantly doing so throughout the day to the extent that it was affecting her ability to carry out her job and supervise the children effectively.

I do have a nanny and tbh I would expect her to have her phone on when she is at work - if only so I can get hold of her if need to. She uses it to arrange play dates (which is fine) and she may well get other texts from friends (as someone said, you can't control when someone texts you) but I have never heard her use it inappropriately.
Whilst I agree there is a time and place for personal phone calls - and work is not it - a text is not really the same. Nanny's don't have the same breaks that others might get at work (possibly more so if you are at home too); I would happily send a personal/domestic text whilst having lunch at work for example.

What is surprising is that you seem to have little idea what they do all day. How old is DS? Even a basic nanny diary (or 'handover' at the end of each day) seems a good idea to me- just to know what they have been doing/likes/eats/who played etc. rather than to check up on her. Plus (as I am out all day) I just like to know so we can 'chat' at tea time etc and feel a bit more involved! I think you need to work on that and not worry about the phone issue unless you really feel she is using it inappropriately - but it doesn't really sound like it.

before mobiles I am pretty sure receiving a phone call on your boss's phone whilst at work would have been a real no no. However mobiles have blurred what's acceptable. Unless you see a reason to stop her I would let her carry on having her phone.

I have it on me all the time - actually the one time I left it in my bag dc2 split her head open at school and mb was trying to call me and I never heard it. I will use common sence if text replies immediate reply they will do so if its just a chatty one and can wait then I do it once dc3 is asleep and I am having a cuppa for 5 mins before tackling the chores. You dont get a lunch break or anything and it can be lonely. Would never neglect the child to text but would also never think to not look at phone while childs awake. After all many of us are rather good at multi tasking!! I have a baby on my knee right now falling asleep - shes my wee neice though so not at work!

I haven't read all the posts but just wanted to add a comparison - my dd is at nursery and the carers there all surrender their phones at the start of the day so they are not even in their possession. This has been their practice since well before that awful case where the nursery worker was photographing abuse on her mobile phone whilst nappy changing etc.

I totally get the comments on loneliness, need to be in contact, reasonable usage etc that may mean things are different for nannies, but I thinkif you are the employer you get to set the rules you are comfortable with....

i always have my phone on in case school need to get a hold of me. If I'm working and my phone goes, I decline anything that isn't from school.

I do read that texts quickly if I can though and respond when I can.