two nannies

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Hi
I am new to all this (first baby) and wondered if anyone had thoughts about or experience of having two nannies sharing the childcare with us (me and my DH). I am going back to work next month, my baby will be nearly 4 months old. His daddy will be looking after him about two days a week, and two nannies will be sharing the other weekdays. I will also be around working at home some of the time but out for quite a large proportion of the working week. I will be home all weekend.

Of course it is always a wrench to leave your little baby with others, but does ayone feel it will be a particular problem that baby will have basically four different caregivers? My instinct is that it will be good for him, as long as everyone is loving and caring, but could he become confused or worried by there being several different people? Any ways to minimise this?

I would appreciate any thoughts. Thanks.

what are your reasons for wnating 2 different nannies?

personally i would prefer to only have 1, as i think it must be quite confusing for a small child to be cared for by a lot of different people

Do you mean grannies rather than nannies?

I don't think the being around different people is an issue if he's used to it from the beginning IYSWIM.

The only issue I've come across with two nannies (as one of the nannies) is ensuring good continuity between each other and the parents, especially when your DS grows up and discipline/boundaries become more important.

I think having 2 nannies will be more stressful for you than for him!

Well....We are doing a nanny share with neighbours, but that nanny, while lovely and highly recommended, is not available for the full amount of time we need someone for. My cleaning lady, who has been with us a long time and also has child care qualifications, and loves the baby dearly (she is like one of the family), is available on the other day that I need somneone and already knows and gets on beautifully with the baby, so it seemed ideal.

No, Sam, there are no grannies around unfortunately

I think it would be easier for a child of that age to have just one.

I had two for the last year for complicated reasons and although it was fine it would have been better if we'd had just one even at their ages. My sons are now 3.3 and 5.8.

would your cleaning lady be willing to do all of it?

Yes, I think that consistent boundaries and discipline will be something I will have to discuss and ensuue carefully with any nannies, but I supose that would be an issue whether we had one nanny or two (just twice as much discussion needed with two I suppose!).

No unfortunately she has other commitments with her own family etc, so she can only do one day. I did not initially think of asking her at all, but after the baby was born and I saw how she interacted with him and how she loves him, it just seemed right to ask her to help with the childcare.

As long as everybody communicates well with each other I don't think your set up will cause your baby problems. They will have a regular routine with each person and get different things from each of them.

You might want to get a diary that the nannies can write in so that each has an idea of what the other has done and what your baby's normal routine is. Record feeds and then when get onto weaning what they have eaten. Record sleep times, nappy changes etc and what they have done that day. This is what day nurseries do so that different care givers can refer to it.

That way when one nanny feeds baby beetroot for lunch one day the other nanny won't be too shocked by the purple nappy the next day!

I think you will be fine and agree with frakkin that dealing with 2 nannies will probably be more stressful for you than the baby!

Do the 2 potential nannies know each other well?

Sam, the diary is a very good idea and I will definitely do that. I like the idea of knowing when he has eaten, what and how much (he is exclusively on breast milk at the moment and for the next couple of months, but of course after that there will have to be food!). I think a diary will be helpful for all of us.

No they don't know each other well, but they are both very nice young women.

Much more discussion needed with two because they will probably have things to bring to the discussion as well AND you're in a nanny share so you need to make sure that those boundaries are consistent with your neighbours too. I manage other nannies as part of my current job, as others on here already know, and it's very difficult because we never all sit down with the parents, even though they see whoever hands over at the end of the day or takes over at the beginning. A centralised nanny diary is the only way we cope!

While a baby I don't think it will be much of an issue... your baby will get used to being cared for by 4 key people (you, dad, nanny1, nanny2).
As others have already said, once your DS is older - say around 18 months, then it will be a bit harder as your DS will need to adapt to different rules being in place with different people. As long as everyone takes roughly the same approach, there shouldn't be any major issues plus your DS will be quite used to being cared for by different people on different days by then.

Like the others I feel it will be harder for you... as you will need be managing more people... running two separate payrolls for example.

Also make sure you know what is happening on the tax front with the nanny share. You should negotiate a gross hourly rate rather than a net as you are responsible as the employer for deducting any tax/NIC etc. If you negotiate a net wage you could find it costing more than you expected as her tax code will probably go to the other employer who has her for more time. Do a bit of research on this area.

Yes, I know I will need to have my systems well in place and be very organised, but I am like that by nature anyway. I will certainly have a centralised diary for all four of us, I think that is a good idea, thanks. As baby gets older pehaps I wll also have regular meetings between all 4 of us to discuss bounday and discipline issues etc.You are all giving me lots of helpful advice and good ideas, thank you very much.

its lovely that daddy can look after your dc

tbh i dont see a problem in having 2 nannys - there are a few jobs i know near me who nannyshare 2/3days a week

a childs heart grows with love (bit like an elastic band) - so they can love and care for many people -not just mummy and daddy

I think your proposed solution with two nannies sounds absolutely fine.

Thanks for the encouraging messages! He is a very loved and loving baby (also has two teenaged half-sisters who live with us) so I hope he will just be happy to have more people to love.

to be honest I think a child benefits from having lots of caring loving adults around them. I think it will make your baby more confident and adaptable to have several carers.

as long as you all communicate and have roughly the same boundaries and approach to raising children then I think thats fine.