Playdate Advice wanted from Nannies

[Earlybird]

Hi - I'm a mum of one dd, and am lucky enough to have a fab nanny. I'd like some advice about how nannies like to handle playdates.
Do you prefer to set up all playdates for the children you're in charge of?
Do the mums set some up that you then carry out?
What if a mum sets up a playdate with a child who has a nanny you don't enjoy?
What do you do when your child is invited to play at someone's house on a day when you're working? Do you go along? Stay at employer's home and do child related chores?
How do you handle it if your employer "volunteers" your services...meaning they say "bring your little one over and my nanny will be glad to look after them for awhile". Do you mind?

Curious about all of this because the degree to which I defer to (and respect/value/protect) our nanny seems odd to my friends. Would love to hear thoughts from nannies......

I have a great boss, we both get on VERY well! thought id make that clear 1st, and ive been there 6 months

At first my boss would arrange the odd afternoon where a freind (and their mum) would come around (my charges are 2 and 4 so mums normally come too). She may say "shall i arange someone for wednesday... i would say fine!"

Now I have been their longer i often arrange these things myself.... meeting mums in the playground etc! i Always tell my boss whats happening!

We have a diary and its sort of a whoever gets something in there 1st gets priority sort of thing!

As for nanny friends, my boss is absolutly fine that they come around with their charges (as long as the children like each other!) well luckily all my (2) nanny freinds have charges of similar ages to mine and who get on VERY well

If for example i have a friend around, and a mum calls to see if there freind can come around ASWELL (ie i have 4 children) then my boss will always phone me 1st... (genearlly i always say yes, except once... the family are having building work and we go 5 mins up the road to a little flat, and the thought of having 4 children squashed in there (if it were to rain) really did not appeal so then i said "no" and that was fine!)

As for afternoon activites... i have 'found' a few to go to, but mum found a swimming class / ballet class that she wants them to go to, so thats fine i take them!

I always take them to adventure playtime at the local leisure centre, and used to go to tumbletots a bit further away on a friday... anyway mum found an arty craft class for 2+ yearolds on a friday only (much closer to home) and she REALLY wanted them to try it.... we did, they LOVE it so now we do the arty crafty class instead!

I think the key is to have an open realtionship with each other and both be happy to answer honestly... i felt i COULD say no when asked to have the 4th child (when alls quiet in their hosue i dont mind at all!)

The diary works well too!

As ive been their longer and got to know the 'school mums' more i arrange more with them and just tell my boss, but there are a few friends NOT at school with my charges and genarally my boss organises them!

Im very easy going and happy to go along with what my boss requests, and at the same time as long as the children are happy she doesnt really mind what we do or who we do it with!

Hope that helps!

hi earlybird,i am currently a cm, but i was a nanny for 16 yrs.In my last job i had sole charge of two little ones.Idid all the playdates as my employer did not know any other nannies,i had a big group of friends with similar age children.We would arrange to go to one house to do arts and craft activities.the employers of these children did not mind that there might be 4 nannies my boss said as long as the kids were happy and not plonked in front of tv,she always said the more the merrier,she would even join in for lunch as she worked from home.There were lessons i took them too and nursery.I was asked to go to lunch at my bosses friends house,my boss came too,she said the kids always behaved better if i was there.i would have rather stayed home and done the ironing!but i found it was give and take.we did have a good relationship,but at this ladies house i was practically ignored there were 8 mummies 10 kids 1 au pair and me.well every one got lunch except for me and the au pair how bad this made me feel,so sometimes the mummies do not even notice the nanny who looking after their children,of course my boss was very embarrassed about this and could not believe her friend was such a snob.she never asked me again unless we knew the mother .Not all nannies are sociable i always invited new nannies round and always made an effort to make them included .I still socialise with my children but its different.i loved nannying.This was in wimbledon the mummies in chelsea are 10 times worse,well most of them.