Really offended by this!!

[aGalChangedHerName]

Do i need to get over myself about this??

Had a call from a potential new parent. Perfect age (3 years) perfect hours and mum seemed lovely on the phone. Chatted briefly about my current minded children and a bit about my family etc. Seemed really keen so all good.

Arranged to meet with parents, had a text on the morning of the visit from mum saying that she wasn't coming as her dp didn't want to have his dd cared for by me as i had young boys in my home. I couldn't understand it and texted her to ask did she mean my ds's??? Yep she said. I mean WTF???

She hadn't even met my dc or myself or DH. My ds's are actually pretty fab and my current parents love my dc. Ds1 is 17.7 and had a Disclosure and ds2 is at school and is 13.6.

I was pretty offended and can't believe that a parent would make a decision like that without even meeting someone. I could understand it if they met us and didn't click iykwim? But jeez what a loon!!

OMFG Womble???

My 17 year ols isn't anything like that. What a stupid generalisation FFS

Oh and my ds doesn't need any looking after either. Other than i cook his tea along with the rest of the families and do his washing. Bollocks!!

I don't even cook tea for my 15 year old - he cooks it for us

IT depends on what the disclosure was.

A full disclosure as ordered by The Care Commission Hercules1.

IE the same as myself and DH have n other words.

yes its a generalisation, but thats the point. your potential customer doesnt know your son from adam, but surely you cant be angry for her not wanting to chance it when comes to her child?

I am sure your son is totally charming.

Some of these daft reasons might not be daft reasons but made up excuses...

Am i the only one who wants to know what the 'ALOT of looking after' comment means?

As far as i was concerned once they hit their teens (at least) they stop drawing on walls(the ones in my house anyway), flooding the toilets with whole rolls of toilret paper etc. If that isn't true i want a refund.

TTM do you really think so? All parents have to say is they have found someone else surely??

Tamarto can't speak for everyone but my teen is nothing like Womble said lol. He is working/driving/saving for starting college and fairly well house trained!!

womble - if they'd actually turned up to meet him they could have based their opinion on something other then pure prejudice.

When my DS started with our CM her then 18 son was at home along with her 17 yr DD, and two younger DS's. Often in the summer I would come home to hear my DS squealing with delight in her garden playing football with all her boys.

Am so pleased I chose a large lively happy household for him.

I do think so.

I think saying they have found someone else would be more like you are not good enough.

Don't normally come on this thread, but this popped out at me.

My childminder had 2 teenage sons and I thought it was a real bonus to having DS2 cared for by her. They were lovely boys. It was a real family atmosphere.

by ALOT i meant emotional energy more than anythng. thats as tiring as scrubbing kitchen floors any day.

Do i need to get over myself about this?

Yes, nothing you can do about it so move on... find the next customer.

As a male childcarer I've come across similar reactions plenty of times, once they realise I'm male. I'm surprised you are getting that reaction as you would be the primary carer, not your DSs. But there is no knowing what is going through her DH's mind!

just to clarify nannynick, i have absolutly no problem with male carers, i would have a problem with the 17 year old son.

Thanks all. Will get over myself pronto lol.

Glad to hear from you folks who have CM's with older children who think it's a bonus. My mindees adore my ds's.

Ach well roll on a sensible phone call lol.

They're loons. They'd be nightmare clients. You are better off without them.

I was thinking it was a daft reason to turn cm down but wombleprincess reminded me that i did once nanny in a house for 3 year olds where there was 18 year old who in hols constantly had people over, drank, played music with bad lang. and loud bass, including at nap time. Even though he'd turn it down when asked the next day it would just happen again. And one parent was often there and did nothing, except they occasionally argued to add to the mix. He didn't do it at 17 and in fact used to be quiet and reserved.

I would assume a cm has any teens under control else wouldn't be cming. Though Tamarto i wouldn't necessarily count on a teen life easier and more in control than with little ones. When teens are naughty they are not cute.

Thing speaks sense - you honestly are better off without them.

They sound mad and you'd think with that horrid story in the news about the nursery worker that people would realise that women can be abusers too. (Assuming the husband is worried from that perspective).

Definitely better off without them.

Mine does toe the line because i am a CM and because he's not a loon. He knows thta having mindees here means he needs to behave a certain way iyswim?

Yes better off without parents like that. Poor wee girl tho if her dad is like that.

or lucky girl having a father who actually thinks about childcare arrangements....

well i can see why its irritating but tbh i ont think she was being unreasonable,

you need to pick a childminder that you feel totally comfortable with so you arent worrying about your child the whole time you are there, no?

some people say no to those with dogs, some dont want those with pools etc. for whatever reason they felt that a house with teenage boys in wouldnt be great for their daughter

god knows why, i think dd would be fine (she is also 3) but they made a choice based on their child and their comfort zone, they may have any kind of terrible past experience or may not

but at least they werre honest with you and didnt waste your time if they werent ever going to go through