Gah! So cross at CM - not sure what do next.....

[OrangeKnickers]

steam is coming out of my ears! (Sorry long).

So last year due to a 'miscommunication' our CM went away on holiday for a week, I found out about it the Friday before she went. It was a nightmare.

So this year she gives us a piece of paper with her holiday dates on. So we book our holiday around her dates, to make life easier.

I mention about our upcoming holiday - which starts next week assuming she's away as well. She says 'oh no, I am away on the xxth June'. I am like 'are you sure, I thought you were away when we were'. She says No she's away for two weeks starting the xxth.

So now not only have we bloody booked our holiday around her dates (would have booked it later in the year coz of the weather) BUT we also have to scrabble around to arrange childcare at short notice. We also pay her for four weeks holiday, and she needs to give us a month's notice of the holiday - which it works out that she has done now.

I am so cross! She's also recently put her prices up. And this has already happened to us once (she's been our CM for about a year).

What shall I do? She's good with our ds and is flexible and (usually!) reliable. I am sure it's an accident but it's so annoying. If was a purely commercial relationship I would part company from her following this but obviously ds is settled there.

Any thoughts would be gratefully received. Am I being unreasonable to be so cross?

QS - I think that Mulanmum is right in her interprestation that the OP is going on hol without her DS as the DS is staying with the grandparents.

Regardless of that though she Mulanmum is horribly out of order in what she is suggesting with her rhetorical questions.

OrangeKnickers - I think you're right to be cross and I hope you manage to find an amicable solution. Enjoy your hols too.

to clarify, I AM going away without ds for a week - he will be staying with grandadparents.

That hasn't got anything to do with my original question and as I posted this on 'Childminders, nannies, au pairs etc' I am unlikely to to a same at home mother. It's a good wheeze though; hang out on this board and slag off working mothers. Nothing like a challenge.

There's no need for that Mulanmum - what has FBG ever done to you?

So? She was planning on going on holiday leaving her child with grandma. Now she is still out of childcare while cm is on holiday. Leaving her child with grandma is not a crime, is it?

As a cm AND a mother - what's wrong with going away and having a break without your children . OP, 'most' posters on here offer constructive advice - don't be put off posting again . Hope you get sorted - and have a FAB holiday. Wish I could get away without DCs..........

agree totally with Mulanmum

think the op going on holiday without her son for 2 weeks when he spends the week at a childminders is crap

why have kids if you spend next to no time with them?

to clarify, I AM going away without ds for a WEEK - he will be staying with grandparents.

Not sure how this is conflated to a) two weeks and b) ds is with the cm.

But why let the facts get in the way of a little burning?

blah blah blah

SSD and Mulanmum - you are both being really offensive.

To OrangeKnickers - hope you sort out CM issues - is it possible she's just a bit scatty? Not that that excuses her at all - i totally understand why you're very cross.

Enjoy your child-free week away - i am very so guess that puts me in the bad mother camp too

also I haven't mentioned how many days I work.

This board is entitled 'Childminders, nannies, au pairs etc' so perhaps ssd and mulanmum could fuck off to a more appropriate section for them.

SSD and Mulanmum are totaly out of order. It has absolutley nothing to do with either of you, you do not know the circumstances, the children are not being left home alone or with a stranger they are going to have a fab holiday with their granny.

Maybe you[re just jealous that the OP is going to have a break!

Oh and read the thread propery - its a week not two weeks

Back to your original problem. If your CM hasn't given you a month's notice of cancelling her holiday dates then as far as you're concerned they still stand and will count as one of her 4 weeks paid holidays. Does that make sense? If she has to give your four weeks notice to book a holiday then the same must stand for cancelling.

I wish I had Parents or PILs who would have mine for a week!

dinner's ready....

thank you everyone else for the helpful comments. You are quite right that even if CM has given me a month's of new holiday she hasn't given me notice of cancelling the old holiday.

And thank you for also saying you'd be cross and that I could suggest not paying her. We are going to talk to her tomorrow. Also my little sister could look after ds so hopefully it will all be sorted out soon. I will keep you posted.

Think we have trolls on this thread.........

How bloody rude, intrusive and judgemental - SSD and Mulanmum

SSD is not a troll - dunno about the other one.

Orangeknickers - I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. I think you are right to refuse to pay her holiday because she changed the plans without informing you.

I don't think it is me that is deranged but hey ho, you just carry on.

Only here can a thread about childminders turn into bitching.

ssd has form in this area, hang about on thread pertaining to working parents, snipe bitchily about "what's the point of having children blah blah blah".

Ignore.

you're right georgie

Thank you Pennies.

To go back to the OP, I'm pretty surprised the CM expects to be paid for her own holidays, as others have said, self employed people don't get paid holiday. I pay my CM 50% retainer for 2 weeks holiday (mine) per year, anything above that I pay in full, but she doesn't charge for her holidays.

If it's in the contract it's going to be hard to re-negotiate now, but I would definitely say (wafting the piece of paper under her nose at the same time) that in view of the fact you arranged your holiday and free child care to fit in with what she told you were her dates, you will not be paying her for those dates as you are now going to have to get paid childcare to cover her actual holiday dates.

There are plenty of childminders in my area who can offer spaces at short notice as unfortunately most of us are not full.
All we can do is offer to look for a stand-in childminder, the same would apply if for some reason we could not work due to illness or accident.
Most CMs do try and socialise with others, but some areas are MUCH busier than others.
Also it's good practice to have a policy on what would happen if you (the CM) could not offer care at short notice.
NCMA contracts recomend that the CM has 4 weeks holiday per year, as many have lots of kids on their books and they would NEVER get time off otherwise.

Those harping on about, having a holiday without the child, are probably secretly green with envy

we had a honeymoon on our own,for a week when our sons were 8 and 2 ( my parents stayed here with them @ our house)

and we have had various overnighters / weekends away without them too.......

yes we love them dearly ,enjoy family holidays with them / days out etc ...
BUT we, as a couple, deserve time to ourselves and both my sons and parents are happy with this too,as it gives them special time together

OP hope it goes ok with the CM tomorrow

I would love to have a w/kend away "sans enfants" but we don't have any relatives that are well enough to look after our DDs
But anyway, it would feel VERY strange being without them.

I told all my parents in writing that I will be shut for two weeks in August and thats all the holiday I am taking.
Ofsted dont tell cms when they can charge or what they can charge.. thats bull shit, its up to the cm and you agree to that in the contract.
my contract says.. cm holiday no charge
cm illness no charge
child holiday full pay
child illness full pay.
I only expect to be paid when I am open and not when I am closed.
She sounds at best dopey and at worst very selfish and unprofessional..