Oh bugger, I need a new nanny. Current one just resigned.

[AtheneNoctua]

Come feel sorry for me.

Then, send me a nice new nanny who wants ti live in Sunbury.

Actually, I am sort of contemplating an au pair and a childminder. DD is 6 and DS will be 4 in May. Am I mad? Probably. I think work is going to send me away 2-3 nights per week so probably au pair won't cut it, actually.

Damn! Back to the drawing board...

oh wow and I thought things were going so well for you? You're always commenting on how great she is. Plus you seem to treat her v well so why on earth would she leave you?? Where is Sunbury???

Well on the bright side the market is in your favour

She said she can't cope with the 6:30 start, wwhich sadly is not negotiable. So, she resigned.

DS is going to be very . So is DD.

Oh, and Sunbury is West of London, inside M25.

Oh that is a shame. How long has she been with you and why didn't she take on board the start time before accepting the job? My current family leave the house at 5.30 am so I am on duty from then and consequently awake and alert ish but being live-in I obviously only get up when the children do between 6.30 and 7 generally. I just make sure I go to bed earlier (unlike tonight of course)

Are you needing a live-in nanny? There are lot's of nannies on Nannyjob looking for work at the moment. Is sunbury near Twickenham??

It is. The kids go to school in Twickenham. I think the 6:30 start makes live-in a must have.

I did offer to make some concessions, but I think her mind is made up and she is on the way out. I eve considered (barf gag) school dinners so she wouldn't have to make a sandwich for DD in the morning.

I will come and live with you and your DC .

Hi, coolj. How are you?

I think I'm going to go with EU this time because I can't be arsed to get my head round this new visa point system malarchy.

What time does your children's school day start that they need to get up at 6.30? Couldn't you shorten the lead time in the mornings a little?

Athene,
If the au pair is mature enough, I am sure it would work if she knows from the outset that she is needed in the evenings. You could go for an au pair plus.

I dont know to what extent your dh is able to put the kids to sleep, but with him and au pair together on the bedtime routine, it should be fine.

You could give the combination of childminder and au pair a go. It might be good for you, to have a stable childminder in your local area, as you know whereas nannies and au pairs come and go, childminders are more reliable in terms of this. It could prove quite flexible.

Not really. She leaves the house at 7:30. The school run involves a bus ride (which is about a 10 min walk to the bus stop, then about 15 minutes on the bus.But, this is a moot point really. She wasn't really interested in having a conversation about how we fix things. I thing she has burned out in the last 2 or 3 months and her mind is made up that she can't do it. I could try to convince her to stay (again -- this is her second resignation) but I'd just be back here again in a couple of months.

I was prepared to make some concessions but I can't alter the start time.

My DSSs have to be at school at 7.45 am on some days (silly French school with different start times every day!) which means leaving this house at 7.25 am - they get up just before 7 am for that, and DP (who drives them) gets up at 6.45 am.

DD, who has to be at school at 9 am, gets up at 8.15 am and we leave the house at 8.35 am! She has breakfast in (my) bed.

Obviously all baths etc happen at night, and clothes are laid out ready. From experience, I think you probably could compress the mornings a little.

I'm sure you are right if you think this nanny cannot be renegotiated back. But 6.30 am starts aren't great as a proposition in a general sort of way.

Hiya Quint! Yes, this morning I was thinking about how DS and DD will take this. I'm more worries about DS. And I was thinking that it might be better for him to have a childminder who takes him at the gate when DD is dropped off in the morning. Then childminder would drop him off at school for the afternoon. DD and DS go to the same school, but DS is only in the afternoons. DD is all day. This would give au pair plu / nanny all day without kids and then maybe the all nighters wouldn't be quite so bad.

DH is away Monday morning until Thursday evening. He can do Thursday bedtime routine. But, if I have tr travel Mon, Tues, or Wed, she will be on her own. So, I think probably too much for an au pair. But, maybe okay for a youngish nanny with a couple of years of live in experience.

Sorry to hear your nanny has resigned. She may have another position to go to?
As simplyme said there are a lot of girls looking for work on nannyjob/gumtree @ the moment.
I would put out an ad and emphasise the need for someone who can cope with early starts.
Is the position live-in/out, full/part time ~ what are working hours?

Anna, you are probably right. But, when I mentiond this to Current Nanny (who I am going to refer to as CN), she thought there was too much to do in the morning. However, I believe there is a time management issue here. I think she could shorten her morning by being more organised the night before. But, as I said before, her mind is made up.

Yes, perhaps 7:00 sounds much better. When I told DH last night that she resigned, and that the problem was her 6:30 start, he laughed a bit because he gets up to drive to his office at about 4:00 on Mondays. He didn't have a whole lot of sympathy for 6:30.

The hours are 6:30-7:00pm M-F. She also b-sits on Monday and Thursday. I realise these are long hours. I offered to get a sitter on Mon and Wed if it was too much. She declined. She also does s swap with one of the mums at school (which I have encouraged) so one day a week she has two boys between morning chool run and dropping them off and one day a week she has no children from 8:50 to 3:15.

oops, she b-sits mon and wed, not mon and thurs.

Oh, and she does not have another position. In fact I'm a bit worried about her (although I realise it's not really any of my business). She has 9 months left on a holiday maker visa. She has steady new boyfriend whom I think she is very attached to. And I wonder in this market how realistic it is for her to find another live-in position for 9 months. Most people I know will want a 12 month minimum for a nanny. Maybe a bit less for an au pair.

My au pair and I would both get up together at 6.30, and supervise the kids while we were ourselves getting dressed. We were very relaxed! So, basically, all 4 of us getting dressed together. Au pair would then take the kids down and get started on breakfast, while I continued getting ready in the bathroom. By the time I came down, she would have eaten, the kids were eating, and she popped upstairs to put her make up on, she would be back down in time for making lunch for ds2 (ds1 had school dinners)
Our morning routine worked a treat, mainly I tthink because we were both doing it together, rather than her alone.

I guess your youngest will start school full time soon?

I had a friend who was an airhostess (single mum) and she had a lovely male au pair who was totally ok with both getting the kids up in the morning (her oldest was 14) do breakfast, take the youngest to school, and then he had nothing to do until he picked the youngest from school again. He was totally capable of doing this, going on playdates after school, taking him to tennis lessons, and cooking tea, and supervising homework, and spending evenings with them, putting to sleep, etc. Mum flew long haul. It is possible, you just have to find "the right person".

Hiya Athene... What a shame! I thought things were going well too. Shame for the dc's too.
Well, I don't know what nanny's problem is, 6.30 start is not that bad!
Most working adults start their day around then. It's not even like she has to be out of the house then. In fact my AP's needed to be alert...ish from 5.30 when I left for London.
My last AP would have been good for this and I would have trusted her overnight. They are few and far between but it might be worth looking into?

completely off topic I'm afraid but ....

Hello! I live in Sunbury too!

Athene, is your nanny also expected to clean, and sort the childrens clothing, and laundry? If she does this while your youngest is at school in the afternoons, I am not surprised she finds it a bit much.

6.30 to 7pm seem a lot, especially if she also has baby sitting 3 nights per week.

I think you would be much better off combining an au pair with a childminder. It would be much more realistic to expect the au pair to do evenings and overnighters, if she had the day off.

Hello neighbour.

I also think it is a bit different getting up at 6.30 am to go to a big well-paid desk job versus getting up at 6.30 am to do a badly paid largely physical job!

My expectation (hope) is that when my project kicks off, I will travel Wed morning to Friday night. So she would only need to do Wednesday night. DH would be home for Thursday bedtime routine onward. And I would do Monday and Tuesday.

Yes, she does have to do children's laundry and general tidying.

Another attraction to the childminder is that we could make use of childcare vouchers and save a bit of tax.

not really Anna, she chose the career / position and knew it's terms.
Besides, big well paid desk jobs have an earlier start then that