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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Oh bugger, I need a new nanny. Current one just resigned.

150 replies

AtheneNoctua · 30/03/2009 23:37

Come feel sorry for me.

Then, send me a nice new nanny who wants ti live in Sunbury.

Actually, I am sort of contemplating an au pair and a childminder. DD is 6 and DS will be 4 in May. Am I mad? Probably. I think work is going to send me away 2-3 nights per week so probably au pair won't cut it, actually.

Damn! Back to the drawing board...

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

ingles2 · 31/03/2009 09:43

That sounds do able for an AP+ then Athene

QuintessentialShadow · 31/03/2009 09:44

I think the childminder could be a very nice and stable environment. She might be able to offer flexible hours, and upped hours during times where your au pair/nanny is moving on, or school holidays, etc.

I reckon you also have a cleaner, so she could take on more duties regards laundry and childrens clothing?

It would be easy for the au pair to tidy up when she gets back after the school run, before her "free time" starts.

Original poster

AtheneNoctua · 31/03/2009 09:47

Oh, there are some assumptions in there, Anna. I'm not sure my job is better paid than hers when you consider I pay all her bills. But, I don't really want to get into this on this thread.

However, it is true that some people are simply more ambitious than others. I would get up at 4:00 in the morning every day if it would further my career. I would do a lot things other people wouldn't do. Sadly, I have not yet aquired fortune and fame for this dedication. Maybe some day soon.... (if I get off of MN and do some work)

OP posts:

BonsoirAnna · 31/03/2009 09:51

Madness IMO to choose a life where you have to get up before 6.30 am on a regular basis. Live near work/school and you can avoid getting up early.

Sitting at a desk all day is not physically as demanding as hiking up to school, running errands and doing child-related chores. If you want your nanny to be awake to listen to your children when they get home from school and have energy left over to play with them, she needs to get adequate rest.

BonsoirAnna · 31/03/2009 09:53

Athene - you mean you don't have as much disposable income to spend on yourself as your nanny does once you have paid all the bills? That's quite common. It doesn't mean that you are not better paid, though!

ingles2 · 31/03/2009 09:55

MarshaBrady · 31/03/2009 09:56

I also think there is a huge difference between looking after children, school runs, doing laundry, babysitting with a 6.30 start and sitting in a car, or a train alone to get to work and being at a desk or in meetings all day.

And people do do alot for career progression, but that's when there is the incentive of promotion and wealth at the end of it.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 31/03/2009 10:00

Anna - I think she meant that since the nanny has her bills paid on top of her wages, the total amount paid to her is quite large?

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 31/03/2009 10:02

Anyway I am not sure why there are all these posts defending the nanny and criticising the OP, who has already said she is considering a childminder, she was just looking for some sympathy and support I think.

You have my sympathies OP

BonsoirAnna · 31/03/2009 10:06

I think the posts are actually trying to help the OP work out how she can make the nanny's hours reasonable while still meeting her needs for childcare cover! It's a perennial problem and certainly one we struggle with endlessly in this family!

ScottishThistle · 31/03/2009 10:06

I know many will disagree with me.

For a nanny 6:30am-7pm is a VERY long day, speaking as a live-in career Nanny.

I'm generally up an hour before I start work so I'm showered, presentable and awake! I could understand how a 6:30am start would eventually wear you down.
No offence intended but an "desk job" no matter how high powered doesn't even compare with a Nanny position, some days I don't even manage to sit down for 10 minutes to eat my lunch.
Perhaps giving your cleaner an extra 2 hours per week would take some of the work load off the Nanny therefore the day would be much less physically demanding.
Or perhaps a combination of Daily Nanny/Au Pair would work ~ the AP could do the early starts and the Nanny could start @ 9am??? Just a thought.

ingles2 · 31/03/2009 10:07

Being a nanny is a career choice, early starts and physical work are part of the deal.
I also think you'll find it's remuneration, benefits and job satisfaction are pretty good.
It's not always possible to live close to work. If you work in the city, it's pretty much impossible to afford to live there, then of course you also have to include where your partner works, where's best for the dc's, if you have other commitments, like elderly relatives etc.
It would be wonderful to have a 5 min commute, but not really practical in RL.
Anyway, this is sooo not the point of the thread.
If you go into School Athene, they should have an early years folder with a list of local childminders. It'll list their working hours, if they do early starts, ad hoc etc.
I would start by seeing if I can find a good CM.
As Quint said, the locality, and stability of a CM could be really good for the dc's as they get older.

Simplyme · 31/03/2009 10:11

To be fair a nanny also chooses the life/job she leads as much as the employers. If a nanny was to feel the underdog then they should find another career.

I love my job most of the time. Admittedly it is hard when bonus time comes in and I see my employers getting enough for me to retire on as a 'bonus'!!

However I would not trade my job in for all the world and I could never cope with an office job. I would not swap picnics and playdates in the fresh air and chatting at the school gates in jeans for a suit in an air con office staring at a screen all day.

I'm not being naive here as believe me I work my socks off and it's disheartning to cook meals that get complained about, have a washing pile that never decreases and same muddles picked up day in day out!

But what I'm saying is don't make the nanny out to be the poor undervalued misunderstood slave. It is a career choice for us too, usually well paid and compensated for and certainly never forced into.

CountessDracula · 31/03/2009 10:12

omg
i may have just the person for you

But she is a "proper" nanny ie you will have to pay her properly
She works for a friend who has just given up work - she has nannied for them for 8 years

ingles2 · 31/03/2009 10:15

well said Simplyme

ScottishThistle · 31/03/2009 10:30

Have you thought of Daily Nanny/Au Pair combination?

Nanny works shorter days. Au Pair does early start/some cleaning. They share the babysitting/nursery duties.
I know families who do this and it works very well.

Original poster

AtheneNoctua · 31/03/2009 10:30

OMG... look what the cat dragged in. Where the Hell have you been?!?!?

Ingles, must admit I haven't kept up with Mrs. R lately. I think she is moving to Rye.

I want to clarify a few things before this turns into me vs CN (current nanny). I like my nanny. We had an honest and friendly chat last night. There are no bad feelings on either side. She came to me because she was working for family in Islington who were horrid to her. They paid her peanuts (even by my standards, CD!) and expected full time nannying out of her. When she told them she was leaving, they kicked her out on the street. She has no family in the country and had nowhere to go. She ended up at MN meet-up with me that night and we had a nice time. She loves my kids and they love her. She's not lazy. She just makes a bit too much work for herself by stepping back to organise things propoerly. This trait is also evident in the (atrocious) state of her room. This is all okay. Whilst I had hoped she would stay until December (when DS goes full time) she is of course entitled to resign from the position and move on within the terms of the contract. This is not convenient for me right now, but it is fair game in the world of nanny employement (or any kind of employment for that matter).

There is more here than just her hours. There are time management issues. If I am perfectly honest, I am a bit disappointed that she did not raise the issues when they started to become a problem. But, let them get so bad that the first I heard about it was when she was resigning. But, hey ho, that's just the way it is. Going forward, she has given more notice than she had to (leaving 22nd May), and I have time to sort out my next plan.

Anyway, I don't want nasty thread that pins me against her. We are friends and I intend to remain that way.

OP posts:

QuintessentialShadow · 31/03/2009 10:31

I think what I remember from speaking to Athene (rl) she pays her nannies well, so in terms of a career nanny, she would not be bad off financially working for Athene. If she finds she cant hack getting up early, then fair play to her, and she is right in moving on.

Like any professional, you are expected to perform your job, as stipulated in your pre contract talks and your contract, and if you cant, you move on.

I would jump on the chance of getting a nanny who has stayed 8 years with the same family, CD!

CountessDracula · 31/03/2009 10:31

oh charming
I try to help and you abuse me

Have emailed you my dear

Original poster

AtheneNoctua · 31/03/2009 10:32

oops, meant to say:

She just makes a bit too much work for herself by not stepping back to organise things propoerly.

OP posts:

Original poster

AtheneNoctua · 31/03/2009 10:33

But, I have missed you my beloved vampire.

OP posts:

CountessDracula · 31/03/2009 10:35

I have had a month where I have hardly posted due to dh and I both being off work at the same time

God it has been heaven

Today he has gone back to work though

Original poster

AtheneNoctua · 31/03/2009 10:38

Incidentally, I am not rolling in cash, so I need a live-in employee. In fact, I prefer live-in for a variety of reasons.

Finding a CM won't be difficult. I know a couple at the school gate. One is the mum of one of boys in DS class. In fact, CN already does a swap with her two days a week so there would be some continuity there for him. Also, I know this mum looks after mostly girls and would like a boy playmate for her son. They also go to our church, so I know his older sister through Sunday school. I imagine she'd be happy to take DS. So, that part of the search couldn't really be any easier.

OP posts:

ScottishThistle · 31/03/2009 10:47

Was just a thought, a live-in AP/Daily Nanny need not cost more than Childminder/AP combination.
You would have two employees available to cover babysits/overnighters/nursery duties.
Good luck whatever path you choose, at least you have a reasonable amount of time to sort it out.

Original poster

AtheneNoctua · 31/03/2009 10:50

Enlighten me, ScottishThistle. How can an au pair / childminder cost the same as an au pair / live out nanny?

OP posts:

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