Childminder's kid and my daughter hitting each other - help!!!

[niceasacat]

When I came today to pick up my 2 years old daughter from my childminder's home, her 3 years old boy was hitting my daughter on her head. My childminder was surprised to hear that I expect her to discourage them hitting each other. She thinks all children go through this stage, and she does not want to be telling them off 'all the time'.
Am I reasonable? What should I do?

Change child minder immediately if not sooner! It's unacceptable, and she obviously won't be helping your daughter out when you're not there, if she doesn't bother when you are there.

As a childminder I would certainly be discouraging this kind of behaviour from any child especially my own. It is as important that your child gets on well with childminders children and any other mindees as it is that they get on with the childminder.
If she can not respect your wishes and understand that you think this behaviour is wrong then I do not think that she is the childminder for you and your dd. Good luck with this.

ohh.. for risk of hijacking thread will start another re childminders!!

fwiw i would change too as if she thinks it is ok for her child to hit others what messages is she giving to kiddies she looks after?

Yes i am sure children do this to one another and it should be acknowleged by your childminder.

Constantly telling a child off may be inaffective, however she could have removed her three year old from the situation and let your 2 year old play happily.

There are many ways to Address a situation, and get the message across to a 3y old. I would expect a childminder to be 'clued up' and think about how your daughter may feel. I do not think you are being unreasonable.

Thank you all. I decided to talk with the childminder as my daughter loves her to bits. So, we had a BIG discussion and it seems that the childminder was a little bit too defensive when she said what she said. She said that after I left she felt she did not explain herself too well. We have agreed about our groundrules (such as when to separate the children etc) and it works now fine.