OK, I need some opinions on this one. Long long long one I'm afraid...
Our AP has been with us now for 10 weeks and is due to stay until the end of January. BUT BUT BUT I am tempted to let her go early. My DH though says I would be mad to do so.
She is 19, Finnish, clean and tidyish. She drives brilliantly (very important down here in the sticks) and she always gets DS to school on time. She is quiet, always available to babysit even at short notice and is disciplined with the kids. And her English is fluent and she has previous experience so can get to grips with most things I expect of her.
So.. whassup? Well, I simply cannot bear the sight of her. She is morose, dull as dishwater, stares aghast at me if I do anything that she thinks isn't "right" (eg letting my children run down the hallway to meet me - running indoors is a big no-no that she tried to ban the kids from doing until I stopped her), she gets the hump if I ask her to do anything that isn't scheduled (even though we have over 5 hours a week set aside to "help round doing odd things, if she is around" - something she agreed to), and she whinges about the house being too cold (it should be 26 degrees, according to her), and about having to get up early in the morning (6am, usually once, occasionally twice a week, otherwise whenever she wants). She refuses to leave the house for anything despite having a car (not to mention 200 acres of orchards on the doorstep at her disposal. Beaches are too "boring", town centres are too "busy" London is too "scary", buses are too "difficult" car parks are too "confusing". She cannot bear the thought of going to the gym by herself (after I have taken her round to show her everything), nor can she see the point of walking in the orchards around our house "without a dog". She was doing horseriding lessons but that stopped because she would only commit to going every other week and they insisted she sign up for every week (I had already found her extra money from dog-walking in the village if she wanted it, so that she didn?t have to dip into her weekly pocket money). She goes to English class once a week (not that she really needs to but I insisted because she was not doing anything) but doesn't 'see the point' of making friends with any of the other AP's in her class, because she already has 3 friends from home that she skypes and MSNs with every day. So she is indoors all the time, curled up in sofa hugging her jumper, watching Friends (which she tapes 4 times a day so that she doesn't miss any episodes). She slouches off if I ever dare to ask to turn the TV over in the evening (she does have sky in her room , and she could of course watch TV all day long). If I ask her how she is she will look at me as if I am mad and say "Exhausted of course. I got up at 6 yesterday and am still tired" And then she makes this huge song and dance about going to bed at 7pm the night before her early shift, as if I am in some way cruelly torturing her (and, yes, I DID agree the hours with her before she came...)
Beyond all of this though, she loathes my almost 5YO DS and he, in turn, loathes her. She is completely unable to relate to him (eg I made her sit down and play 'frustration' with him. All I could hear from her was "No, it's not your turn", "No, you can't do that", "NO! DS, NO! that's not how you play" and "You're cheating!", until DS gave up and wandered off?.). Fortunately he doesn't have to spend much time with her - one morning getting ready for school, and a couple of bath/bed routines each week (I had planned much much more, but BOTH of them refuse)
I have sat down with her 3 times and had 'those' chats with her, but I get the impression that (a) she just won't ever 'get' 5 YO boys, no matter how much she tries (which isn't much, by the way), and (b) she actually quite likes letting life drift by and feeling sorry for herself, as is much easier than getting off her butt and living her life. It definately isn't that she is too shy, she is bold as brass, she just has no interest whatsoever in anything.
My DH reckons we should just put up with her because she IS always there and so she CAN always cover if we get stuck at work (although she does of course get the hump at being asked - even though I am scrupulous at making sure she doesn't go over her set number of hours a week), and we are both working our socks off at the moment so that is useful. And we do have a babysitter available for Fridays, Saturdays and so on. And we do need extra help in the holidays. But I am at screaming point and ready to get rid, and my nanny also finds her fairly difficult (I had hoped that au pair would take DS off swimming and stuff, so that nanny could give DD (2) some one-on-one but it just doesn't happen because AP refuses to take him).
I have had AP's before and am not a complete newbie, and I have asked her if she is unhappy and wants to move to another family and she is genuinely shocked that I could think this - says she is happy with role and workload and salary etc etc, and then the next day I get all the black looks and so on...I know in my heart she is just being a moody teenager, but it is like having your very own 'Dementer' drifting round the house.
Jury, please vote. Do I put up with the convenience of having all the flexibility and responsibility I could ever need, or do I get rid and replace her with someone more fun and cheerful, but inevitably more haphazard and less 'available'?