How do I stop

[BradfordMum]

a 2 yr old boy from cramming food into his mouth.
He's just had a slice of toast, and literally put it all in. He wasn't able to chew it so I made him spit it out.
I've tried alsorts. He loves raisins, but puts one in after another without even chewing them!

limit the food on his plate?

and then add to when he has finished first quarter of toast etc?

tedious and time consuming to keep adding food but might get the point across

Tried it, unless I put one biteful of food on his plate at a time, he just puts in the qhole item, be it a slive of fruit, toast, breadstick, lump of cheese.
He has only just started it, so I'm hoping it's just for attention.

His mouth sounds a bit insensitive.

You can do things like spray water into his mouth (ds1 loved this) and presumably tongue exercises (get him to copy you) - also licking things off a plate - the classic is 100s and 1000s.

I dont think it's anything to do with an insensstive mouth to be honest! I think he's just a difficult child who gets away with murder at home.
he is 2yrs 7 months and arrives with a bottle of milk in the morning. he also lives on McDonalds chips at home, so I'm really struggling to get any decent food into him.

bottle of milk at 2.7 - OMG!!!

im a mean nanny,I take away bottles at a year - day after birthday - might get a moan or 2 for a day byt FAR easier to do it then, then at 3 - but thats obv not your prob/fault

does sound as if doing it for attention, so i would limit food and make him wait, and when he moans about being hungary, would say something like - well if you would eat your food nicely,then I could give you more on the plate,rather than having to wait for it

Well it is a classic sign of having problems using mouth muscles. (As is having difficulty moving on from bottles and restricting diet).

as soon as he arrives, I take the bottle off him.
It's difficult to explain, but he's very slow in some respects. He says a few words, but I've asked his mum about seeing the HV, things are difficult at the moment and I think he's put on the back burner, so to speak.
He's very bright in some respect, but lagging in others.

Jim Jams - I dont think it is. I think it's lazy parents who can't be bothered.

Poor kid! mcdonalds chips! I'm no help at all, I have two fabulous eaters. Don't envy you at all...hope you sort it out.

He sounds to me more like he could have developmental issues. Difficulties moving on from a bottle, stuffing his face and not recognising his mouth is full (my autistic son still does this aged 9), restricting his diet, having few words...... This child needs an assessment before his parents are assumed to be hopeless.

Be nice to him (and his parents). The nursery staff at ds1's nursery when he was 2 didn't treat him very well. Or me come to that. It was apparently my fault when ds1 was 2 that he didn't talk, that he fell off a chair. I babied him apparently, I spoke for him/not enough/over him and everything else inbetween. Now ds1 still doesn't talk aged 9 I no longer get the blame, but all the people who did blame me when he was 2 have crawled back into the woodwork.

With me, he'll eat most things. He loves Pizza, Fish, tuna fishcakes, chicken, pasta.

There's a long story, which I wont bore you with, but I try to keep his life on an even keel if poosible.

Jim Jams, I agree to some extent. However he can drink perfectly well from a cup - no lid, or from a sports type bottle, and befoer I had last week off, he ate at the table perfectly well.
I think being away at Pontins with mum, dad, 2 older brothers, and grandparents has undone the good work, and this cramming food is horrid!

I agree it's horrid ds1 used to do it when younger. Stopped for years and has just started again.

I'm just saying that many of the things you are mentioning can be signs of developmental issues. These are not easy to spot at 2 and can present confusingly. Even to experts. DS1 was assessed aged 2 by an autism specialist who said that he 'definitely wasn't autistic and if there was anything wrong with him at all it was so mild it would be sorted by 5'. In fact he's severely autistic with severe learning disabilities and will require lifelong 24 hour care. God knows how she got it so wrong. But the signs were the sort of thing you mention. It's good that he'll eat proper food with you, but even that is a bit of a sign. DS1 for example will drink water at home (lots of it) won't at school, he'll eat spag bol and ice cream at respite, won't at home and so on and so forth.

I know your hands are tied if the parents won't refer for assessment but I think it's worth bearing in mind.

Bradfordmum, does he do it all the time or just some of the time? My ds 2 does it from time to time - sometimes his mouth gets so full he will just spit it out. But then, I know he is just playing and not hungry - I will remove all the food from him.

If ds was genuinely hungry he will eat nicely. I don't feel he is delayed in any area ... on the contrary.

BTW, subject to jimjam's experience and wise words, toddlers develop at different rates. At 2.7, it seems to me rather early to be judging, especially if the child is from a potentially disruptive family environment as your posts seem to hint at. Isn't there a 2 year developmental check and was anything flagged up to the parents?

I said he needed an assessment before judgments were made about his parenting as these things can be signs of developmental issues - not always - can be. 2.7 is most definitely not too early to start assessments. Unfortunately many areas have phased out the 2 year check.

I am involved with a scheme that tries to provide early intervention. They want 2 year olds because intervention is more effective if given earlier. They are struggling to get any kids earlier than about the term before they start school. These children are out there. They are not being picked up.

I am not saying that a child who spits out food is delayed. I am saying that a child who doesn't feel when his mouth is fully, who has few words, who has food restrictions, who remains on bottles etc etc could do with an assessment before assumptions are made about his apparent laziness.

He may be perfectly OK but I think when dealing with him it would be worth bearing in mind that he might not be able to help it.

one of the boys I childmind is 5 and he is developing well in all respects but his eating habits are atrocious. His mum says that it will come right in time but reading the above and the fact that he dribbles terribly all the time makes me think that perhaps HE has problems with his mouth muscles. He will try to shove a large banana into his mouth given half a chance - or an entire slice of bread. Drives me dilly! but perhaps I should mention this to mum??

Dribbling can be sign of oral apraxia/dyspraxia. (You can get 2 types with the mouth alone or in combination- so verbal affects muscles involved in speech so speech can be affected, oral will lead to things like dribbling, problems eating).

There's lots that can be done to help so yes I would mention to his mum if you think she'll be OK about it. As he gets older he's obviously more likely to get teased about dribbling. He probably will get better with time though as well.

If you google you'll find things like 66.102.9.104/search?q=cache:BDRaHvHztfUJ:www.dyspraxiafoundation.org.uk/downloads/Developmental_Verb al_Dyspraxia.pdf+oral+apraxia+dribbling&hl=en&ct=clnk&cd=2&client=safari/this They tend to focus on verbal dyspraxia, but the exercises are good for oral dyspraxia too!

It sounds to me he is not getting the attention he deserves at home (although i accept what jimjam is saying and mentioning the HV is very well done). Maybe that is why his speech is not great, if you don't get spoken too much / encouraged speech will be the last thing to develop.

I would cut his food up for him for a week, and also make some sort of board game (or maybe find a relevant book) about cutting up food and putting one piece that you have cut up into your mouth, then chewing and swallowing then repeating.

After a week get him his "own" cutlery set and just go mental on the praise when he cuts and eats one small piece at a time.

Also just wanted to mention that IME 99% of children eat foods they don't eat at home when they are with other people, esp when other children are eating them nicely! And a mindee I had once dribbled at 5 years old and his saliva glands were sort of turned up to high! He had an operation to "turn them down" which worked a treat. He also had a thing about putting huge quantities of food into his mouth.

I'm no expert and don't have these issues with my dd.

what i have noticed, however, is that most of the children who have dummies and/or use bottles past the age of around 1 seem to have slower speech development and also slower acceptance/willingness to try different foods, textures etc.

IMHO, maybe it could just be that the bottle needs to be ditched to free up his mouth to develop properly.

I have seen how difficult it can be and upsetting - best of luck

BM, back to your original post

Have you tried ignoring the cramming?

If you think he is doing it for attention then ignoring it may be a strategy?

What happens if you con't make him spit it out?

Sorry for all the questions

I have tried ignoring it, but he usually crams it in, passes me his plate and says 'all gone' while spraying food everywhere with a big grin on his face.

He's a real character and I find it difficult to explain how he is on here.

If I say not to do something, he stops, rolls his eyes and falls to the floor as if he's fainted. This causes much hilarity at home and toddlers, as everyone laughs. He lays there for a while, then gets up and resumes playing.
I tend to ignore his behaviour when he does this.
He's very aware of going back to do the same think again, and he watches me to see if I'm watching him. IYSWIM!

I also looked after his older brother - now aged 7 and he was slow to speak, and when he did, he had a really bad stammer. This has now practically gone and he's a charming, kind, caring little chap.

He's also with me from 7.45 to 5.45pm, and doesn't have either dummy or bottle with me.