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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

To pay or not to pay

18 replies

mishmash · 04/02/2005 10:43

My nanny is now live-out (her choice) I have told her that instead of starting work at 8 that 8.30 is fine with me. I am up at 7.30 - get the kids up, they dress themselves, get their schoolbags sorted, get breakfast, tidy their rooms, put on a wash and do a quick tidy before she starts work proper at 9.00. She is still coming in at 8 and this morning I told her I didn't need her till 9 and there she was at the back door again at 8. I am not cutting her work hours - she still works the same as she always did but am I expected to pay for the time she comes in even though I've told her I don't need her till a later time?

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Laylasmum · 04/02/2005 10:45

maybe you need to have a new written contract because she seems not to understand what you want from her. if that details her hours and duties if she did ever get peed off and decide to take action against you you've got something in writing.

soapbox · 04/02/2005 10:47

Mishmash - no I wouldn't pay but if she was mucking in during that time and helping out, I would slip her a little pressie every now and again to say thank you.

IME - the little extras you give are far more appreciated than their pay!

Flowers on a Friday, bottle of wine for the weekend, £10 to buy a takeaway if I've been late home (which thankfully is very rare).

Original poster

mishmash · 04/02/2005 10:50

Thanks Layla
DH and I have discussed this and we are going to do out a new routine for her over the weekend. We treat her very well and TBH we don't really need her until 11am as she has no-one to look after until almost 1 - the house is always clean and tidy so there isn't even really that much work for her to do anyway

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Original poster

mishmash · 04/02/2005 10:52

Soapbox - yes I do this too. Last Fri night went out and she was babysitting. We were out a little later than expected and I slipped her extra money. Today I am bringing her to town to get her some new clothes as she is getting married next week, but I have heard scary stories about tribunals etc... I do keep a diary of her work hours just in case because even though she is a great girl I am wary

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soapbox · 04/02/2005 10:56

Mishmash - I wouldn't bother keeping records etc.

Do you pay her an hourly rate or a daily/weekly one?

My nanny is pretty flexible about all the comings and goings and just knows that it all works out in the long run. She almost always ends up with more days off than her actual holiday leave. Sometimes she'll want to leave a bit early if she is going out for the evening.

The only time I ever pay for extra hours is when I have specifically asked her to come in early/stay late.

As you say, she's probably not working flat out all the time you are paying her anyway.

I would probably have a word with her though, you sound a nice employer and she may just be worried about the security of her job since she has moved out of the house, and may feel she needs to get there super early, as she would have been around then if she was still live-in.

RTKangaMummy · 04/02/2005 10:59

mishmash

sorry I think I have missed something

when she lived in she would start at 8

now lives out and you said 8.30

today you said 9

also you said you dont really need her til 11am

am really confused [which today isnt difficult being a "bear of little brain"] but I dont get

a} you say you havent cut her hours do you mean she workd later in evening than before or an extra day

b} are your children all at school or some at nursery class so go for a morning

c} or do you go to work at 11am

please be patient with me

so you pay per hour is that correct?

Original poster

mishmash · 04/02/2005 11:39

Kanga
She is supposed to get paid hourly but I still pay for hours she doesn't work iykwim - some weeks she may work 35 others 43 but I still pay her 43 which is at time and a half after 39 hours. No deductions for board or lodgings which believe me is common around here.

My kids are all out in the morning so realistically speaking I don't need her until 11am as I don't have enough work for her to do

When she lived in it was easier for her to start at 8 as we were all up but still I didn't really need her till 8.30

Today was 9 because I was not going to work.

That sort it for you?

And yes Soapbox I would class myself as a nice employer.

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RTKangaMummy · 04/02/2005 11:52

ok thanks

so when she lived in what did she do in the morning?

It does sound like you are kind to her and a fair employer.

Is there any way of sharing her with one of your friends?

Or I guess you want her all day during shool holidays for your children

What ages are they?

Uwila · 04/02/2005 14:45

Mishmash, as an employee, doesn't she have a contract that outlines specifically her hours of work? And if you want to change them, aren't you obligated to give certain notice period (4 weeks? 2 weeks?).

In the UK, I think it is a legal requirement for the employer to provide a written contract that includes the hours of work. Or do you have an agreement that the hours fluctuate? Did her salary go up when she became live out? Do you think she might be showing up at 8:00 because she 1- doesn't understand your instruction not to and 2- Needs the money in view of pending wedding/marriage.

Personally, I think these things should be agreed in writing just to safeguard against any miscommunication, especially when nanny's native language is not the same as employer's.

Original poster

mishmash · 04/02/2005 14:45

3 and a half, 6 and 8. I wouldn't really like to share her. What does she do in the morning - I suppose not a lot - like this morning I walked around the house wondering where she was and couldn't find her LOL. She loves hoovering so the house gets done every day and the one job I hate doing - clothes washing, ironing and putting away.

She is getting married in Pink! and I ordered a boquet for her and have some of her friends coming to dinner the night before - she doesn't know about the last two because she didn't want a fuss - but it is her wedding day so we have to make it a bit special.

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RTKangaMummy · 04/02/2005 14:49

ok then so she is working then

good

I agree about not sharing her as your little one is only 3

I was wondering if they were sort of 8,9,10,11 sort of thing.

Original poster

mishmash · 04/02/2005 14:51

Uwila - she has a contract but she is happy to be flexible - like for instance she is supposed to clock off at 5pm but I might not get in until 5.20pm.

She understands alright but just shows up.

I haven't increased her wages because I never made deductions for any board or lodgings - where she is going to live she is sort of living free anyway.

I know another nanny who was docked for board and lodgings and she moved out but isn't getting any more than what she got before.

Now you have me wondering - but if it was her choice to move out should I pay her more? She was already on a good rate before she moved out and our minimum wage is going up soon anyway?

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RTKangaMummy · 04/02/2005 14:54

perhaps she just likes the company and to help out

@ other family

soapbox · 04/02/2005 14:54

Mishmash - well a win win would be to tell her you are not going to increase her pay as she is now live out. But you are willing to reduce her hours from 11-5.30 (that way you will be early home not late)

If she has any sense she would be delighted with that!

In terms of where she is now living its not somewhere she would be uncomfortable hanging around in the morning so she prefers to turn up at yours???

Uwila · 04/02/2005 15:11

I think soapbox's idea is a good one. But, I would probably amend the contract to reflect this change, just to make sure everything is clear and up to date.

Perhaps she is showing up out of a sense of duty? My nanny has a fantastic dedication to her work. Almost too much. About a month ago I got that nasty throwing up bug, went home from work, and curled up in bed (apart from when I was curled arount the toilet pf course). I then found out nanny had had it a couple days before. She didn't even tell me and just worked through the day (with delightful toddler jumping on her as she lay on the living room floor in misery). I obviously knew nothing of this until she was better. I of course told her that in future she can tell me and I will stay home from work to look after DD. But, she won't. It's her work ethic. Perhaps your nanny is doing the same? Maybe she just likes her job and so goes in anyway?

Original poster

mishmash · 04/02/2005 15:15

Yes Uwila and Soapbox - your both right. Uwila there are times when she is sick and never tells me - like you when I got the bug she had had but carried on regardless.

I have told her what times she should take breaks at and I know in my heart and soul that she doesn't take them because she likes to be doing something and doesn't like to sit around.

Anyway DH and I are going to discuss over the weekend.

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Original poster

mishmash · 04/02/2005 15:17

She has told me that she is very grateful to us for being nice to her and for giving her the chance to work here - when she came first her family circumstances weren't great and every penny went home.

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crunchie · 04/02/2005 15:35

Well IMHO I would keep the staus quo, pay the same as you always pay, offer her less hours, and if she decides to work longer it is her perogative. A good nanny is hard to find, but so is a good employer, so a bit of give and take on both sides helps.

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