How do people with office jobs make pick up time?

[Duv]

I live in London about an hour from my office in central London, and have my 1 yr old in a nursery that operates 8am-6pm. This just about works for us as I WFH a fair bit and have some my office core hours are 10-4.

But we are planning on moving further out, outside London and commuting about 1.5hrs. Looking a nurseries and childminders in the local area of the new town almost none are open beyond 5.30, and 5 seems to be the norm, with some only open till 4! I appreciate 1.5hrs is a longer commute than most, but even if I had my existing commute time (and I think 1hr is pretty normal for a central London job) I have no idea how anyone is managing to pick up their child before 5.30? Aren't typically working hours 9-5.30? How are you guys doing it?

Career
Baby
Seaside dream

You have to choose.

No one has it all unless they have inherited a LOT of money.

Just 1/3 is a privilege others don't have.

@unmemorableusername Or they've earned it themselves...the assumption that wealth is always inherited is really annoying! Everything DH and I have we earned. His mum left us some really lovely photo albums and a sofa from the 70s...

I mean door to door. Train is about 1hr, but London terminus isn't near my office so will need to get a tube to the office, and then factors in walking to the station.

One of the things that makes me think this is viable long term is that I may in the future be able to get a job that is nearer the London terminus so I can cut out the tube portion of the commute and shave off 15/20 mins. Realistically unlikely to get a job in my sector locally.

What’s your budget / place you need to commute to? People may be able to suggest alternative areas.

We choose to do things different than the london/nanny way.
We could have done this but chose the children. We would have loved both jobs and house in London but wanted to raise our children ourselves.

What makes you anti moving further out of London on the tube OP? I live in zone 4 and we don’t struggle with drop offs and pick ups using some after school club, some breakfast club and some wfh. There’s also a lot of choices because a lot of parents commute. I have a few friends who moved further out in the pandemic and now they’ve been asked to come in more are really struggling as their lives only really work if one parent can be local.

I've noticed the same! When I first started childminding pre COVID I did 7.30-6, now most kids are 9-5 - I only have a couple that stay til 5.30.

School called me today to collect my son who had been sick (he's 15, so normally goes to/from school by himself)
My commute is 15 min walk and 30 min train journey. Fortunately I was able to grab my stuff and get a train less than 10 min after receiving their call, and got a taxi the other end. But he was still waiting in the school.medical room for about 45 min which I felt bad about. Luckily i have only had to do this a handful of times. You'd need back up if both parents were 1hr 30 away. Because a 1.5 hr commute is based on you leaving at the time the next train is going, but being called at a random time might mean you had to wait eg 15 or 20 min for a train.

That is a really good point, at least a 15 year old will understand about work. A poorly 2 year old waiting a couple of hours to be collected (risking infecting others if they have d&v or something too) would be horrific.

Our nursery is open till 6pm, so that obviously makes a vast difference. Although we often don't leave her there till that time.

We work it by alternating drop offs and pick ups and negotiating early starts / late finishes with employers.

So (and I'm simplifying because there's swim classes and meetings and whatnot and we have to be flexible with each other) - but the gist of it is one person works early hours: e.g. 7:30-4pm and then picks up, and the other person works late hours e.g. 10-6:30pm and drops off.

We both work make up hours in the evening as needed. Both of us do full time hours+ but with slightly opposing schedules, worked round meetings etc.

I don't know why I read the last two together 🙈🙈🙈

I worked for myself then regularly worked into the night to make up the time.

Trains out of London are a shitshow. Always running late, if running at all.

How will you factor that in with so little flexibility on nursery pick up?

Is it not possible for DH to wfh when you're in the office and vice versa?

DH and I both got stuck in London once, and my DD needed collecting from school wrap around care. Sorting that on a train, with intermittent phone signal, trying to find someone to collect her and contact school to let them know was a nightmare!

Ended up getting my friends 16yo son to collect, whilst her 14yo daughter sat in the house with my other 2 kids and my friend drove 40 miles to pick us up from the only station we could get a train to.

We've avoided being both in London ever since, until our kids were all in secondary.

This.

There are lots of ways people manage things.
You are lucky that you get to wfh regularly - not everyone has that.

Then not everyone has a long commute, from their office (you do realise that most people in the country don't work in London, don't you?)

We used to do a sort of split shift - I'd start work just after 7am, to ensure I was able to leave in time to pick up the dc, whilst dh took them to the CMer, then later, to Breakfast club, but didn't have any pressure to get away in time to collect them, so we were both able to get our hours in even though we were in jobs that didn't have a wfh option.

Sometimes, something like a big move away from where you are, also involve a change in jobs.

Some people have help from family.

But we all have to work with what we have.

This is important. I am actually finding the early secondary days harder than primary and nurses were. If I go into the office I’m over an hour away while a ND 12 year old had to let himself in. So much help from the grandparents needed!

I'll add to that, very little/ no childcare for secondary aged kids during school holidays.
It's a long day to leave and 11 or 12yo from 8am to 6pm

In all of this, think about what it's like for the child spending such a long day in nursery if you are talking about extended hours...They don't even get their day broken up by a commute

That's aimed at the OP

Long commutes to leafy commuter land are generally for families with one parent out the house long hours and the other a sahp or wfh. Hence why it’s more common in families with one high earner. Personally it wouldn’t suit us (two more equal jobs and equal childcare).

Single parent living a 75 min drive from work.
I sometimes work from home 1 day (but also sometimes a 15 hr night shift inc commute), don’t work one day, nanny 6:30am-7pm for 3 days and split infrequent shifts (leaving 0645 before returning 7pm following day) between nanny and grandparents. Weekend days /nights usually covered by grandparents /sister with obliging 18yr neighbour as backup (sadly going to university in Sept) and nanny prepared to work.

I would say that if you are planning this there needs to be a plan A, B and C ready to kick in.